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Go Back   Writers Forum - WritingForums.com > Creativity > Short Stories
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Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words.

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Old 09-14-2007, 08:40 AM   #1
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Ice Tea Atonach is on a distinguished road
The Different Ones

Yay! I'm writing stuff again I wasnt 100% what area I should put this in but in the end I decided that this is prose so it best fits in the short stories section, where I normally post. Anyway, enjoy!


The different ones


“Why are they like that?”

“Who?”

“You know… those other ones, the ones that are different.”

“Oh, them?”

“Yeah, why are they like that?”

“It’s their nature boy; it’s just the way they act.”

“Why can’t they be… more like us, more…?”

“Normal? We’ve already tried boy.”

“Really? What happened?”

“Well we put them in the camps, we taught them the right ways but it didn’t work.”

“But why? What happened?”

“It was their nature that stopped them from being normal; they were too wild and basic to be like us, to handle our superior ways. In the end we gave up, we don’t follow those old policies anymore.”

“What do we do now?”

“We fix the problem; we’re going to take them off our streets so that they’re not a problem anymore.”

“Fix the problem? What about the other different ones, how do we fix them if we can’t make them normal?”

“We make them all go away; we make them disappear my dear boy. Forever.”
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Old 09-14-2007, 01:31 PM   #2
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Nice piece! quite open-ended, just one bit ""What about the other different ones""...??meaning?? A bit of punctuation, but great!
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Old 09-14-2007, 02:52 PM   #3
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I'm unsure on how I feel about this piece. It's good and not good at the same time. I guess there just isn't enough.

Bashkin.
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Old 09-14-2007, 10:05 PM   #4
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Thanks for the response, I didnt expect a great response from this as its just a warmup piece for me to get going on again after a break from writing. I'm happy its fairly positive, 2 responses in less than a day can't be bad.

I kinda based this on the Stolen Generation in Australia with them trying to assimilate aboriginals however I kinda changed it with the genocide part. I made it as if they were talking about city people and the "other different ones" refers to those in tribal life. I supose I should've probably thought that over a bit more.

I tried to make it simple and short so that I could get the most effect from the piece. I guess it didn't work with you there.
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Old 09-15-2007, 09:41 AM   #5
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I'd like to see more to this.
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