Richie.S

It’s been many long years, I think, but I’ve found myself in the bed I used to sleep in.

Opening my eyes, looking; my room is now derelict: the house, it seems, is empty.

I recall bright, bright lights. They awoke me all that time ago; it feels a long time ago: flooding through my small room’s window, illuminating me, making me feel warm, tingly but isolated.

I believe I remember seeing stars against a pitch black sea, but I can’t be sure.

For sure, now, I know my parents aren’t here in the house I’m in: it’s empty, there are no sounds; I’m just lying here confused, wondering what has happened.

I know I’m older than I was: my clothes no longer fit me; I wonder how old I am.

I try my voice and it just whispers; my throat is dry.

Where am I? My mind screams; but I know I’m in my bed. What’s going on? It continues.

Now there’s a siren and people crashing through the house. I’ll just lie here, quiet, waiting for later.
They lift me up and take me; I’m leaving my room.
Who are these people?

What is happening — to me?

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criticism is the engine beneath the hood of perfection
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Stuff I've posted in the past is still worthy of being critiqued. Please check it out and have your say. I will return the favour.

FictionFan

I am wondering that too. I'm confused. What's going on here?

~fictionfan

Richie.S

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criticism is the engine beneath the hood of perfection
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stuff I've posted in the past is still worthy of being critiqued. Please check it out and have your say. I will return the favour.

Timex

Could it be....Aliens?

atrophybrain

I liked it, but it seems to be leaning a little more towards poetry than prose.

Prosetry?

Anyway, from the few clues given I'd say the speaker has returned to his/her childhood home, and has had some sort of medical problem (hence the disorientation, the sirens and people carrying him/her away).

Nice language, and wonderful job of keeping the reader guessing.

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Think of how stupid the average person is, then remember that half the people in the world are dumber than that.

Richie.S

Timex - If you've ever lost minutes of your life unaccountably then you know you're on the right track

Atrophybrain - thanks for the comments. I also had the feeling as I was writing it that was metamorphising into something that wasn't quite prose and it didn't finish its change. I think prosetry describes it quite well. The first person to read it did tell me it was about someone who had or was suffering a medical condition - almost exactly as you have described.

A few more posts and I'll reveal what my intention was; though in reality, with all written work, it is the perception of the reader that counts the most.

__________________
criticism is the engine beneath the hood of perfection
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stuff I've posted in the past is still worthy of being critiqued. Please check it out and have your say. I will return the favour.

Fossy

Yes, I too like this very much. Could it be that he has seen something really awful, blanked it out - plus the last 10 years of his life, then gone to bed remembering nothing but when he was a little boy? If that's it I'll be really disapointed, cos I hate it when I guess.

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Originally posted by Sam Winchester.
Fossy's good too. She gives good advice.

Richie.S

Just to say Timex got it spot on. When I wrote the piece I was thinking about alien abduction; but the other interpretations have made me think.

Thanks for all the comments

__________________
criticism is the engine beneath the hood of perfection
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stuff I've posted in the past is still worthy of being critiqued. Please check it out and have your say. I will return the favour.