quiet lady 53

Homeless

“Don’t you just love the prices at this store?” The lady asking the question was probably in her sixties, well dressed, complete with all the appropriate accessories.

"Nothing like a good bargain," I reply. quietly.

Conspiratorially, she moved closer, "My husband and I love these frozen shrimp for lunch, you just put them in the toaster oven for a few minutes and they are wonderful!"

"I'll have to give them a try, they really do sound good." I smile. "Where did you find them?"

Following her directions, I move to the frozen food area, but I do not place shrimp in my cart. I do not have a toaster oven.

I look like a typical middle-aged southern Christian lady you would see anywhere in South Carolina grocery stores. My Skirt reaches mid-calf, my blouse doesn't dip too low, I don't wear much make-up and my hair bounces neatly around my head. Although I look typical, there is a big difference between myself and most of the ladies wearing similar attire- I am homeless.

If you would have told me fifteen years ago that I would be where I am today, I would have thought you had a real problem. My husband and I were studying to become missionaries, our children were doing well in school, we weren't perfect, but we were basically happy.

Then the troubles started. Although they were typical, they escalated beyond my wildest fears. Teenagers going through rough times, mid-life crisis, divorce and other issues invaded like an army. Their roughshod boots tromped over my heart. I was alone.

Years as a homemaker logically pointed to becoming a cook at local restaurants. Educational opportunities presented themselves and I went back to school as a “displaced homemaker.” I became a secretary, office manager, then went back to college for more education. Other opportunities knocked: a friend taught me professional photography and graphic design.

Three years ago I was hired as a staff writer for a small newspaper in East Tennessee. During that time there were wonderful experiences, such as having lunch with the Governor of Tennessee; interviewing celebrities such as Josh Turner and Lee Ann Womack and writing about the many local attractions of the area.

Although the job perks were really fun, I was still basically alone with no family in the area. I missed my kids, and now grandkids. Then my oldest son asked me to come home to Greenville.

“I’ve had years of experience in the office and with the newspaper,” I thought. “Finding a job probably won’t be that hard.”

A month later I was still looking. I have applied to more than thirty newspaper in a 50 mile radius, employment agencies and graphic design shops. Nothing seems to be happening. I decide to accept it as a spiritual test, since I believe in a sovereign God who is able to do more than I could ask or think. I will hold up my head and keep trying.

Any mother who loves her children knows they need their space. There is only so long you can live with your family without tensions creeping in. So, I started sleeping in my car part time.

My personal goal as a homeless person was not to look or act like one. Family members allow me to use their shower, although I have perfected the ten minute wash-up in public restrooms, when necessary.

Thankful for an easy to style haircut, I carry a small tote filled with conditioning shampoo, a washcloth, towel and a variety of personal maintenance cosmetics. In a brusque and businesslike manner, I enter a public restroom. It is important to scope out single restrooms, in which the door locks, for a bit of privacy. It is very awkward if someone walks in during your daily ablutions.

"Hurry, hurry!" I tell myself as I methodically wash from top to bottom. Frequently, I place a watch on a dirty sink to measure the time. It is important not to stay in the restroom too long.

Eating is another challenge. Out of compassion for my children, I applied for food stamps. It was painful to keep asking them for money for food, though I am always welcome at their tables. The problem is they are single, usually don’t have much besides beer and fast food in their refrigerators and have friends or their current lover over.

“Hello! It’s Mom!” Using my key, I advanced into my daughter's kitchen. She quickly emerged from her bedroom door with an embarrassed grin.

"Uh, mom, I have a friend over right now." Her eyes hoped for understanding, as she was ushering me to the door.

"No problem, honey," I said with a false cheerfulness. Now where would I go. It was early afternoon and the price of gas made me want to stay nearby. It is ok if I miss a meal. I have hypothyroidism and have put on a lot of weight in the past few years. It sounded like a trade-off. You miss food, but you get a few pounds skinnier.

Grocery store delis have become a favorite hangout. A meat and two vegetables usually lasts a couple meals, and is healthier than a burger and fries.

Another dilemma is what to do with your time until you find a job. Libraries, bookstores and malls can keep you busy for a while. Certain parks, with walking trails are acceptable, if they are busy with other adults.

It is important to stay around busy places, because there are bad people who can tell when a person is living in her car. If something happened it might be several days before one of the family would start to look for me, and then they wouldn't really know where to look, because I don't have a home.

Night is the most challenging time. I pray God will show me safe places, which usually end up being higher end apartment complexes. People who live in apartments don’t keep looking outside for familiar cars. Upper class people are more apt to respond to a cry for help, in case of emergency.

Somewhere after 10 p.m., I drive slowly through the parking lot, looking for a quiet, unobtrusive spot. Once parked, I sit quietly, as if there is a reason for me to be there. I watch and listen for anything that would seem threatening.

As a child in an unfamiliar place, I commit my soul to God, trust Him to place angels around me, and fall into a, usually, broken sleep. Quietly, I creep out of the parking lot in the early morning hours, a nameless shadow. To be invisible is an asset.

Amazingly, though I am homeless, unemployed, and beset with difficulties, I feel loved by God. My life may currently seem to be a “hand to mouth” existence, but I consider it to be from His hand to my mouth, and that is enough.

Comments welcome...

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Quiet Lady 53

fjf1329

Hi,
I think you have a story to tell. As I see it, your problem here is that you do exactly that. Tell your story. You have many opportunities to "show" what occurs. If you introduced some dialogue, or other means to describe what is happening rather than strictly narrate you will have a far more interesting piece. I do think that you have a good story. Feel free to pm me.

snorrie

First of all you need to format this properly before anyone will want to have a look at it. The word processor on this site won't let you indent so what you have to do is put a space in between paragraphs. It makes it easier on the reader. When you do that I will gladly have a look at it. Good luck.

quiet lady 53

The suggestions given have been taken into consideration. There are now spaces between paragraphs and I have started to think about how to add actions and other quotes.

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Quiet Lady 53

snorrie

This story developes way too fast. It is more of an overview of the character's life. Take your time. Just develope a scene at time. You don't have to get it done in one sitting. I would like to see interaction with the lady who is shopping. Maybe some dialog. And maybe have another part of the story where the children are frustrated, giving her hints that she should find a place of her own. Slow down.

quiet lady 53

Have edited it further...see what you think.

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Quiet Lady 53

snorrie

Okay, great. You've connected me with the homeless woman by introducing dialog but then it just shoots off again. It takes time. If you were to fully develope this piece such as you have a the beginning, I think it would be great. It's gonna take a lot more time than the fifteen minutes in between my commments and what you have now. Good luck. Enjoy your work in progress.

quiet lady 53

Snorrie-
Thanks for the comments.
I am writing what I know. I have recently been a newspaper reporter and am getting into the fiction mode. Other changes have been made and will continue until it is what it ought to be.

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Quiet Lady 53

snorrie

Well, being a newspaper reporter, you already have a great start to tumble in to the world of fiction. Good luck.

quiet lady 53

More changes- how much should I expound? Should there be a happy ending- like finding a job or is being happy with God enough? Does it show the importance of the spiritual by its ending?
Just a few questions that have occurred as the story has been altered.

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Quiet Lady 53

Fossy

Great story, very sad and you could even call it 'Quiet Lady' lol.

You have the makings of a whole book here, starting with her marriage, the kids leaving home etc.

Then the homeless part, then your imagination as to what happens to her - the possibilities are endless, but don't let it happen to quick. Let her go through lots of dramas, meet undesirable people on the way - lots of tension, throughout her journey to happiness - which is entirely up to you.

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Originally posted by Sam Winchester.
Fossy's good too. She gives good advice.

quiet lady 53

Thanks so much for the encouragement Fossy! Maybe it just will turn into a novel...

Just edited it again...Should I keep editing it here or should I wait a while? This is my first day, so open to all advice.

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Quiet Lady 53

Fossy

Wait a little while for some more comments and just keep writing on your computer in word, as you come up with ideas. Either way I still love the story and I'd enjoy this as a good read in bed, where I do most of my reading.

By the way I love the line where she says she won't be buying any shrimp as she doesn't have a toaster - that was really moving for some reason.

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Originally posted by Sam Winchester.
Fossy's good too. She gives good advice.