Amers

Well this is my first short story I post here, please be gentle lol. Advice and everything is welcome. My English isn't that good, so you know.
I have made this story, with the help of a picture. I don't know the artist, but it's good. I post the picture at the end of the story.
Anyway it's kind of a fantasy story (this can not happen in real life) but it has a glimpse of reality, which some people can relate to.
WARNING: the story contains blood and that kind of stuff..

“Are you ready, miss Verdad?” He held nonchalantly a report in the right hand and looked expectedly at her. She swallowed.

“Come on, it’s all set for you.” Again he smiled, showing his teeth. She thought he looked like a wolf who saw a weak prey. With shaky knees she came up and followed him. The door closed behind her and fell in the lock.

The consulting room was spotless white just like bleached teeth. Scary white. Two grey chairs stood in the left corner, set up as if they had to stand there for punishment. On the right stood a sort of table with creased paper on it. Next to the table stood a steel closet with an assortment of pots and bottles in it. She shivered unconsciously.

She didn’t want this, right? It was much more safe with it. She had always thought that. Why now change?
He sat down in the plastic chair and made a gesture that she should sit down next to him. Rather not, but if she would stand a little longer she would end up on the floor. She took a seat and tried to catch a glimpse through the small window next to a grey door who could use some paint. There were carved scrapes and white pits. She could see the people, grabbing desperately onto the door. They didn’t want it anymore. It was very different than what she was told. The people who had come here had been relieved.
He coughed a bit too hard and she looked at him.

“Shall we go over everything, miss Verdad?”

“You can call me Helena.” Although she didn’t want him to.

“Alright, Helena, first an important question, otherwise we won’t go further. Do you want to go on with this, despite the consequences?”

He didn’t help a lot to comfort her. But she couldn’t go back, not now.

“Yes, I want to,” she said with an uncertain smile on her face. She wiped her clammy hands off on her jeans.

“That is good, very good,” he said while nodding his head. “You know, I assume, how it’s done. I must tell you that the process will not be painless, but we do our best of course.”

She nodded, but didn’t know for sure if she believed his words.

“We don’t know for sure if everything will go fine,” he said. “Not everybody is the same, the one is more sensitive than the other. You could get into crucial condition, but let’s not think about that.” He laughed about his own words. She didn’t understand what was funny about that. This man was revolting.

“The machine is cleaned meticulously, so you can’t get infections. Me and my staff may safely say that it will be safe to go on. Do you have any questions?”

He looked at her, but he didn’t expect any more questions after his detailed explanation.

“No sir, I take all the consequences for my responsibility.” Again that uncertain smile with a sarcastic background.

“Very reasonably of you, that’s how it should be. I shall lead you to the room where everything will happen. Follow me.” He stood up and opened the door next to him.

Slowly she stood up and sighed audible. Now came the worst part. She looked at the ground when she stepped into the surgery. Look up. Don’t hide any longer. Doubtfully she raised her head and looked at the room. She took a step backwards. With big eyes she looked at the machine.

It was oblong with the structure of a hoisting crane. From the ground up with a horizontal beam onto it. At the end of that beam hung four iron chains with hooks on the bottom of them. A gripper. Tow bars. It looked like an instrument of torture. She held her breath.

The room was lighted by blazing strip lights. The walls had been white, but everywhere were black stains now. Bloody traces betrayed the rough work. She became pale.

The staff had white mouth covers, but the wrinkles around their eyes told that they were smiling. They pulled their cloves tighter and pointed at a corner. She followed their fingers and saw a not lighted corner where a frayed curtain hung in front of.

“You can undress yourself there, Helena.” His voice made her startle.

Carefully she walked to the corner; afraid to fall. With trembling hands she pulled her sweater over her black prickly hair. This couldn’t be true. She was insane. Her trousers left her along with her underwear. She will get an anaesthesia, right? Something.

“Are you ready, Helena?” His voice came from far.

Stark naked she appeared and walked straight to the machine. The light made her even more white so that she looked like a ghost. Her black short hair stand out in contrast to her body, but matched her dark eyes.

“Alright, sit down on your knees in front of the machine and keep your back as straight as possible.”

She did what he told her to do. She fumbled nervously on her bracelet around her right arm.

“Yes, like that. Now you bent your head to the back. It will take a lot of strength, but you have to be sitting like this during the operation. If you don’t hold it any longer you slap with your hand on the ground.”

A tear drop flowed out of her dark eye and became a river on her cheek.
Suddenly his voice became sharper.

“You won’t get an anaesthesia. You have chosen for this while it didn’t have to. Now you must suffer to feel what you have done exactly. You must feel how it pulls away from you. You will feel like a better person, I guarantee you.”

The last words were spoken softly as if he was talking more to himself. He nodded shortly to his staff who immediately began to move.

“Prepare yourself for the change in your life. For the consequences of your future. For the moments you have been waiting for.” He looked at his colleagues with piercing eyes. “Are you guys ready?” Muttering they agreed.

A colleague pulled a handle and the beam moved. It turned and turned. It seemed as if he calculated how her head was made. The chains came down. With care he put the hooks in the right direction. A creaking sound that repeated itself. Her chest went restless up and down. The river on her cheek was dried up.

The chains jingled and stopped right in front of her face. She shivered when a hook touched her forehead. This is it.

“This will hurt. Don’t be afraid, but feel the pain. Concentrate on the fierce stabs.” His breath felt warm on her shoulder.

The first hook. Through her forehead. Pain. Fear. Feel it. The second hook. Through her left cheek. She felt it through the soft flesh. The third hook. Right through her chin. Fierce pain. All her muscles strained. The fourth hook. Through the right cheek. She felt everything. Her hands went up to her stretched neck. They trembled unstoppable. Make it stop. It must stop.

“You are doing very well, Helena. Prepare yourself. It will happen. This makes my job worth it. Feel the burden go away, Helena.”

Blood seeped out of her mouth. She gasped for breath as a fish on land. The creaking kept going. The machine went back to work. She heard the creaking of the hinges. Stay with it. Experience everything.

“You are a brace woman. No single tear drop. This will test your eyes, though. Don’t be afraid to feel what you have done by hiding for the truth.”

Slowly he turned the handle to the right. She felt the pulling onto her flesh. It seemed as if she was stretched out like an elastic band. Her eyes became big and her breath irregular. Further up. It came loose. She heard the ripping of paper. No, of her skin. Unbearable pain. She wanted to cry, but she couldn’t any more. Tears that couldn’t fall. Her nerves became detached like electricity threads that were cut off. Muscles became uncoupled. Her nails pressed in her skin.

Stay consciousness. Deal with everything. Don’t go. Her neck became stiff and stitches spread out. The ripping sound was gone. Her view was gone, her sense of smell. Where was the taste of blood? The grinding of her teeth? She didn’t feel air in her lunges. Panic. The trembling wouldn’t stop. The tears couldn’t find their way down.

“Be calm, your real face has now the chance to show itself. After all that time it had to live in the dark. Hidden behind the shell of your imagination. Behind the empty mask. Feel now the real you, Helena.” He laid a hand on her shoulder.

She felt nothing. What was he talking about? Maybe the real her wouldn’t want to come anymore. Refused me. Where was the fresh air? She choked.

Suddenly she felt something crawling past her ears. It crawled up. Skin covered the red loads of muscles and blood. It crawled further and further. Nerves attached. Her eyes emerged. Clear blue eyes with long lashes. She felt teeth chatter and her tongue licked past her lips. Breath came with heavy by fits and starts. The skin came together and fastened to each other by the nose. Air streamed past her nose hairs.

She heard him holding his breath. “I have never seen this before.”

Her hairs fell off and blonde locks grew like grass out of her head. She was reborn. The air in her nose felt new. Her somewhat crooked front tooth felt new. She opened her eyes and came slowly up. The blinking with her eyes was new. The cold stroked her thin legs. She felt the hairs go up.

“Welcome back, Helena.” For the first time he smiled with a friendly expression on his face.

She smiled back. Yes, she was back. She has dropped the mask and made room for the real Helena. No longer she will hide for the world.

She stood up and laughed. Let the world hide from her.

SeanFields

The picture is so creepy

Amers

Lol, yes it is actually

Tarantula

"with all kinds of pots and bottles in it" Just my opinion, but this might be more effective as "with an assortment of pots and bottles..."
"The consulting room was spotless white just like bleached teeth." this was a good image.
There are some other decent images and over all its decent. You kept it mysterious, although it might be more effective without the clue you gave with the picture. I didn't really feel that she was in pain though and some (not sure I know really how to explain this fully) peripheral background information could have spiced it up. For instance why are people tearing there faces off, they've obviously brought certain institutes into use for this purpose. You could build up the relationship between doctor and patient because that was a decent aspect of the story. You almost get the feeling that its almost adverserial, he enjoys doing this and is wolfish and she refuses to shed a tear. More of a struggle with these would make it stronger. But overall not bad at all. I enjoyed it, and you did a good job at hinting at but keeping the procedure under wraps. Good job.

__________________
A virtue maker took every last dime with that scam
It was worth it just to learn some slight of hand.

Amers

Thank you very much for the advice, I changed the first thing you said, it does sound better

I'm glad you enjoyed it