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| Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words. |
08-21-2007, 07:41 PM
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#16
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Adept Writer
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Some highway somewhere.
Gender: Male
Posts: 829
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Don't write novels. Short stories are the best. (That's my complete biased opinion.)
__________________
"The greater part of what my neighbors call good I believe in my soul to be bad, and if I repent of anything, it is very likely to be my good behavior."
Henry David Thoreau
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08-21-2007, 07:44 PM
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#17
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: H-town, dawg! (in other words, Houston area, Texas)
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,248
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Well, I will take that into consideration. Thank you for your complete biased opinion lost  |
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08-21-2007, 09:57 PM
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#18
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Addict
Join Date: Apr 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 157
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Quote:
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She had stopped dying her hair, but it was already dead.
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That is one great line, Charlie.
You have to know what kind of impact this makes on certain people.
If this story has any truth in it at all, and I'm betting it does, I hope you never have to feel that way again.
Just better and better and better...
you get. 
__________________
i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes
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08-22-2007, 09:37 AM
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#19
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: H-town, dawg! (in other words, Houston area, Texas)
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,248
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paige Turner
That is one great line, Charlie.
You have to know what kind of impact this makes on certain people.
If this story has any truth in it at all, and I'm betting it does, I hope you never have to feel that way again.
Just better and better and better...
you get.
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Don't worry PT. While this is based on things that MIGHT have happened in my real life, they never did.
I'm glad you enjoyed it! |
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08-23-2007, 05:48 AM
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#20
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Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Chicago, IL
Gender: Male
Posts: 11
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I really got creeped out by this story, but I loved how it provoked this feeling out of me. The whole situation at hand in this story is just frightening to me almost
Well done. |
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08-23-2007, 07:10 AM
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#21
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: H-town, dawg! (in other words, Houston area, Texas)
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,248
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Thanks sevenx. I'm glad you got creeped out, lol. I like to do that to people if I can.
Thanks for taking the time to read it!
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08-23-2007, 05:10 PM
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#22
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Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 6
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Hey Charlie,
This is really good - a kind of haunting grasp at happiness via selfish means - like the way it's in snippets - adds to the sense of detachment.
The last paragraph's a bit random with the ER (the tone seems different from the rest), but that's only a small point.
My personal opinion is that the story works best as a short piece (rather than expanding it) - The way that you currently present it the reader gets a brief sense of hope and then bitter reminiscing.
Well played.
Martin
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08-23-2007, 06:35 PM
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#23
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: H-town, dawg! (in other words, Houston area, Texas)
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,248
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Thanks Martin. I agree with you about the last paragraph. I am still struggling with it, but will hopefully post a rewrite eventually.
Thanks so much for reading!
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