Firebird

Fossy

Well, it's a nice line. Full of possibilities I guess.

__________________
Originally posted by Sam Winchester.
Fossy's good too. She gives good advice.

The Hack

I think this is something most people can relate to. I would guess many school aged kids have written the name of a crush in a doodle and quickly desmited the doodle before anyone could see.

Here's my problem with it, from a technical POV:

The word "unrecognizably" here appears to describe the verb of scribbling. It reads as if his action was unrecognizable, not that he was making the words unrecongizable.

Sigg

you sure like your flash fiction huh?

well ill tell you some stuff i noticed,

the pronouns are ambiguous, for example,

it could be interpreted as the 'he' is the guy doing the writing and doodling, and obviously the 'her' refers to some other girl, but the 'his' could refer to a different guy. He writes her name and his, but when he sees them(referring to the girl and the othe guy) then he goes and scribbles their names out(out of anger maybe?)

I don't know, I was trying to interpret it different from the obvious way. I don't like the last word though, it seems tacked on.

__________________
Drivin' in my Cadillac Rock Box

Johnna

"Mindlessly" confused me a tiny bit at first; maybe it was just me. Maybe try "her name and his own"? I don't think you need a comma after "them". As for the last word, why not "making them unrecognizable"?

Unless, of course, you're trying to keep it to a certain length.

__________________