|
Little Moments
The roof was not vacant as I'd hoped. Edward was standing at the edge of the building, looking down over the lake. He turned when he heard my steps, and I had an idea to go back downstairs, but drat it, I would cry if I wanted to. So I just stood there, daring him to say something about my wet cheeks.
Of course he did. The idiot. "Mazie... What's the matter?"
Ugh. I clutched at the sides of my dress in frustration. "Leave me alone, Edward," I said angrily. "Just go away."
I was certain he would demand to know what was wrong, whereupon I felt I would have to push him off the roof. But he surprised me by nodding shortly and leaving. I heard his footsteps fade down the stairs and merge with the thin, tinny sound of the music.
I desperately dragged a small plastic chair over to the edge of the roof and collapsed into it, trying not to think about anything. Especially not anything with boys in it.
The fire leapt inside me. I hated them, in this moment. They weren't worth anything. Particularly not my heart. I was furious with myself for giving it away. For thinking they were more than what they were. Giving him the chance to hurt me. Stupid.
I sat there and fumed and cried and wished to God that the party would end soon so I could leave without him seeing me. I checked my cell phone's clock and groaned. It would be at least another half hour.
I was walking around the edge of the building, trying to see if there was a fire escape I could leave by, when I heard someone coming up the steps. Edward appeared, and I screamed inwardly. Why wouldn't he leave me alone?
"Go away," I snarled.
"Shut up," he snapped back fiercely, and I realized he was mad. At me? I wasn't sorry.
We stared at each other angrily for a few seconds; then he walked to the chair I'd moved and sat down in it.
"That's my chair," I said, and incomprehensibly started crying again. It just wasn't fair. Nothing was right tonight.
"Get another," he said. But after a moment he stood up and pushed it roughly towards me.
I grabbed it, pulled it to me and sat down heavily, glaring at him darkly. Pride wouldn't let me wipe my tears away.
"I hate you boys," I said. "You're so stupid." He knew I meant it.
His brow furrowed. "I hate you girls. You're horrible. You don't-- don't--" He swallowed. "How can you be so uncaring?"
"Uncaring!" I came close to shouting. "All you want is sex! You don't want caring!"
"I want caring!" he yelled back, angry. "And maybe guys would treat you better if you didn't act like sluts all the time!"
"I'm not a slut," I seethed. "You don't know anything."
He opened his mouth but then shut it on the words he wanted to say. For an instant I wanted him to say them, so I could have back at him. But he didn't. He just frowned at me.
"I know you're not a slut," he said quietly. "But the rest of you are. The rest of you are vile."
I didn't want to agree with him, so I didn't say it out loud. But I knew that I couldn't have been hurt if there hadn't been another willing girl.
There was an abrupt cracking sound, and we both turned in time to see the remnants of a firework flare out over the lake. Another explosion, this one casting the entire valley in shades of red.
We watched in silence as the sky caught on fire.
At the end, when all the lights had faded and my ears no longer rang, the night seemed colder, and empty. I turned to look over at Edward and found him standing at my side.
"That was very pretty," he said simply.
"Yes. It was."
I felt exhausted. All my energy was spent. I couldn't be angry anymore. "I'm sorry, Edward. For girls. We aren't worth it."
"Yeah. I know. Guys either."
Minutes passed as we watched the smoke pass over the lake. Then I noticed the music had stopped. The party was over.
I stood up. "The party's over. I think I'm going to go home."
"Yes," he said, stretching his arms. "Me too. I'll walk you down, if you want."
"Please, yes." I might need the support. Especially if a particular someone was still there.
He wasn't. We passed through the dwindling crowd, and I avoided everyone's eyes so I didn't have to talk to them. I did grab a piece of leftover cake to take with me, though. I hadn't had anything to eat all night. It made Edward laugh.
He saw me to my car, and we said goodbye. I felt better. Far better than I thought I should feel.
Edward was my friend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't hesitate-- I want you to tear it to pieces. Haha.
~Kareen <3
|
