Writers' Block - Writers Forum

Funkeh · 07-08-2007, 05:19 AM

Ideas, thoughts, imagination: three key requirements for a narrative and they were all missing. They were all scattered around his mind like sheep in a meadow, except Derek had no dog to round them up.

A crackling fire lay straight in front of him, holding dancing flames and crumbling briquettes. It kept dragging his attention away from the blank sheet of paper sitting on his lap and making him doze off. This was his last night before departing into his busy life. The stress would be heaped back onto his back once more.

Derek shook his head again and glued his eyes to the paper in front of him. ‘Focus,’ he told himself, automatically jamming his pen in between his teeth. ‘This will be your last chance for a good while before you get an opportunity to start something.’

Perhaps if he had a laptop with him it would be easier, but no, just him, a sofa, a blank sheet of a paper and an annoying fire. If only it wasn’t so cold in the house. It had a huge draft running through the entire house. Derek, realising his doze-off, jabbed himself in the arm with his pen. He was really getting angry at himself now. He needed to pour something onto the page.

More thoughts flooded his mind, but they worried him. Was he forcing himself too much to write? With his experience he knew when writing was good and when writing was bad, and he knew that if he wrote with his current drive – which was very low – it would be poor.

The fire was dying, only a few flames were left. Derek lifted himself up and dropped another briquette in. The flames burst up, making him flinch. When he looked back at the fire a very different feeling overwhelmed him. It was alive. The dancer was now giving him ideas, giving him thoughts, lighting up his imagination. It was all rushing in at once, and Derek was afraid he would forget some before he had the chance to write them.

Derek snatched at his sheet and began spilling his imagionation onto the page, his pen moving at great speed. He never thought that the very distraction to him could actually be the thing to break the wall in his mind.
----

Yeah, pretty short, I know. It's just something I wrote a while ago, in that very situation. I decided it might be a nice way to get going on these forums, so I wrote it up this morning and put it on. Feedback is very much appreciated.

Triquediqual · 07-08-2007, 08:21 AM

Initially when I read the title, I wasn't looking forward to perusal, but after reading it there I was pleasantly surprised!

I got the feeling of the rush of ideas and imagination he was suddenly filled upon toward the end and saw that transition from the very beginning which was great for the story.

Although if I was to say something I found bad, it would be the tacky descriptions you gave *some* of the objects. One of them was "Like sheep in a meadow", that's a pleasant image describing something bad? I personally didn't like it but some may love it! That's writing for ya!

Good piece overall!

Triquediqual

Funkeh · 07-08-2007, 08:39 AM

Thanks very much, Triq! Yeah, I only realise that now. Maybe I should have used a more unpleasant scene to describe his mind. Thanks for the comment!

Voodoo · 07-08-2007, 10:21 AM

A couple minor indescrepancies, irishman.

In no order:

In the final paragraph and the previous, I was sick of hearing the name Derek. Too mycuh repetition, slight as it was. No real deal.

I don't know if I caan relate to the theme- I have writer's block all the time, but any ideas I do get don't wish themselves on me. When I don't think about them, that's when they come. For this piece, I think it would make it more interesting iff you didn't narrate so directly. Pronouns abound.

Personally, when I try to write due to boredom, I create some trippy shit.

You say you wrote something in bordeom, and it was halfway comprehensible, well then.

Looking forward to seeing something other than prose from you, in the future.

Funkeh · 07-08-2007, 10:31 AM

Thanks, German. That's how it worked for me, though. I was in that position, trying to write something, and the fire sort of gave me inspiration. I don't recall saying that I wrote it out of boredom, though.

Thanks again!

Triquediqual · 07-08-2007, 10:32 AM

His name is only mentioned 6 times, I think this is okay because at least we will remember the character of "Derek with writers block", that wouldn't be a criticism.

I think this piece would refer to the individuals way of getting out of writers block and not set in stone to a particular group who experience the same recuperations.

I think it's harsh to say 50:50 in comprehensibility. I think it's a solid first piece here Voodoo.

Voodoo · 07-08-2007, 10:33 AM

Heh, doper's a distorted time.

Triquediqual · 07-08-2007, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by German Voodoo

Heh, doper's a distorted time.

You've lost me

Funkeh · 07-09-2007, 11:41 AM

Any more readers?

kaytea111 · 07-09-2007, 12:17 PM

i like it. very interesting and relatable.

Knocking · 07-09-2007, 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Funkeh

Ideas, thoughts, imagination: three key requirements for a narrative and they were all missing. They were all scattered around his mind like sheep in a meadow, except Derek had no sheepdog to round them up.(might be lame, but since others commented on this: why not use fireflies? Just an idea, keeping with the whole fire theme.)

A crackling fire lay straight in front of him, holding dancing flames and crumbling briquettes. It kept dragging his attention away from the blank sheet of paper sitting on his lap and making him doze off, which was not an option. This was his last night before departing back into his busy life. The stress would be heaped back onto his back once more.

Derek shook his head again and glued his eyes to the paper in front of him. ‘Focus,’ he told himself, automatically jamming his pen in between his teeth. ‘This will be your last chance for a good while before you get an opportunity to start something.’

Perhaps if he had a laptop with him it would be easier, but no, just him, a sofa, a blank sheet of a paper and an annoying fire. If only it wasn’t so cold in the house. It had a huge draft running through the entire house. Derek, realising his doze-off, stabbed(Stabbing usually produces a wound. If he's just trying to keep himself awake, I'd find a different word: poke? I don't know.) himself in the leg with his pen. He was really getting angry at himself now. He needed to pour something onto the page.

More thoughts flooded his mind, but they worried him. Was he forcing himself too much to write? With his experience he knew when writing was good and when writing was bad, and he knew that if he wrote with his current drive – which was very low – it would be poor.

The fire was dying, only a few flames were left. Derek lifted himself up and dropped another briquette in. The flames burst up, making him flinch. When he looked back at the fire a very different feeling overwhelmed him. It was alive. The dancer was now giving him ideas, giving him thoughts, lighting up his imagination. It was all rushing in at once, and Derek was having trouble keeping them all in.

Derek snatched at his sheet and began brainstorming(to me, this seems like a step back. If he was just given tons of ideas, why is he looking for more?), using his pen to spill his imagination onto the page. He never thought that the very distraction to him could actually be the thing to break the wall in his mind.

Looks pretty good to me. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work. Keep writing!

Joelle · 07-09-2007, 01:21 PM

I often write about writer's block when I have it, myself. Once my brother had writer's block, so I said, "Write about it," and it helped. It's usually enough to break through it if you can write about it, so I smiled reading this.
Anyways, onto your piece..it was quite good. I could relate, anyway.
Just one minor thing..

Quote:

They were all scattered around his mind like sheep in a meadow, except Derek had no sheepdog to round them up.

you could probably eliminate "sheep" and just call it a "dog", instead of repeating it...the "sheep" in "sheepdog" is implied. Or you could call it a "herding dog", something along those lines.
Keep posting.

Funkeh · 07-09-2007, 02:36 PM

Thanks all for the feedback; I have changed some things.

sitcomjunkie26 · 07-11-2007, 01:56 AM

Nice piece, concretizes the abstract concept of writer's block.

This thread caught my attention because I have a short story saved in my laptop with the exact same title. Isn't that interesting? With a different angle though, fiction, about a guy trying to write an important letter. I'll post it in the forums later on.

Funkeh · 07-11-2007, 12:06 PM

Thanks. Ha, that's very interesting! I look forward to it being posted here!