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Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words.

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Old 07-07-2007, 11:14 AM   #16
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well if you learn from purple prose that's fine, but if you develop it as a style then you'll never be published. i've been complimentary because i was impressed. your defensiveness is disappoining me.
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Old 07-07-2007, 11:15 AM   #17
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I'm not being defensive. Saying, simply, I like both.
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Old 07-07-2007, 11:18 AM   #18
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you seriously have a gift, son. no more griping and moaning from here on in... yes? if a piece isn't liked, try to write a piece that is.
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Old 07-07-2007, 11:20 AM   #19
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yes... I'm trying not to gripe, az.

hell. don't know what I'm saying anymore.

That's what i tend to do, if just for spite.
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Old 07-07-2007, 11:21 AM   #20
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then don't! be a writer.
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Old 07-07-2007, 11:23 AM   #21
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A mighty quote...

"be the sun! be the light!"

ah, you make me happy az.
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Old 07-07-2007, 07:26 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by German Voodoo
Always weeping from some emoting parasite in your brain, pissing out your eyes.
my favorite line.

The first two paragraphs were the best. It did have a very poetic feel, but I liked it. Very deep, very quoteable (if you know what I mean). Good job.
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Old 07-07-2007, 07:28 PM   #23
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Thank you, joelle.
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Old 07-07-2007, 08:35 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by German Voodoo
Too many tears, the bad part about loving someone, or wanting to love them. Always, moisture stinging, staining your vision. Happy, sad, furious. Always weeping from some emoting parasite in your brain, pissing out your eyes.(This is a funny visual...)

It feels good, to cry, like picking your bleeding gums(ew...I don't see the connection.), suckling on the sweet fluid sof(typo? misplaced space?) a tear. Sometimes, it's not so pleasant, morbid, you rip out that tooth to burn the infection.

Killing yourself in a mirror. Your blood sluicing down the pane like a fresh soda, reflecting back your suicide. A suicide you foster daily, in tears and love. It's a grand brother with an addiction, a gritty bitch with money. Many things, all coveting pain, worse than.

Is many, like many, still a disservice to compare. Formless as water, you bleed so tropic a soul through those blue eyed wonders. No one can understand even their own, no other's, try they might and met with brick.

It even leaves you shivering, shining. Bad sex, bad love with good traits and silk mistress, it's just hell, hell with you. Luck to be rid of it, riddance to the irony that you can't live without it. With nothing but, just artificial air cycling in your red tears, fueling that stream to die another day.

Worse yet, you cry when smile. Smile in that rapping mirror to find the simple sake of cleansing, burning that germ until it lies on your eyelids.

A hug feels better than nothing, but a drop of glamour, the rare kernel that streams the electric filament, that is tears. That's a medication like no other.

I cried when I died and still drew misery. I thought death brought relief. Avarice was supposed to pass along with me, but it lived longer still. Peculiar that I still have to pay my rent with a silly textile stain taken from my rusted heart. Shelter not in a cosmos, but in a small apartment weeping filth from its walls.

I wish I'd died forever, instead of this timely wait. Sorrow is an unjust placation, a bitter seed biting your tongue.

My face is redder than ever, and I still have my mirrors, my tears. And that burning sore I can't quite soothe, asking me to kill it with hands I don't have. Pity devastation that I wish would rise, in boils I could lance. This hurt, this parasite is a ghost I can only kill by feeding it. Abrasive mothers laying spread legged in your skull, inviting acid wash.

In the end, it gives me a clean peace and my returned apologies.
(Nice ending with the sudden change of emotions, at least for me.)
Cheer up, folks.
Once again, very deep and perhaps too much for me to understand in my limited experience... Your writing always makes me stretch my brain (or heart?), for some reason. <That's a very good thing. A musician once said something like good art makes people relive past emotions, while great art makes them experience new ones. Yours is great art. ~Keep writing.
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--John Keating, Dead Poets Society
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Old 07-07-2007, 08:37 PM   #25
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Thank you, but my writing has very little meaning at this point.

I hope not to become one who writes silly gibberish and makes the reader say it's too deep for them to understand, so it must be good.

Could name names...

Thanks again.
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Old 07-07-2007, 08:45 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by German Voodoo
I hope not to become one who writes silly gibberish and makes the reader say it's too deep for them to understand, so it must be good.
Hmm, that would be bad... As long as you avoid it, though, I don't think you can reach it. Good luck with that.
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Old 07-07-2007, 11:59 PM   #27
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It does, in fact, feel good to cry.. but you relate it to so much, you make me wonder what real crying is all about- how you will relate it when something such as a family death comes along...

It's quite difficult to describe what I am talking about..
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Old 07-08-2007, 12:01 AM   #28
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A family death will bring my emotional, moody ass no end of grief.
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Old 07-08-2007, 12:08 AM   #29
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You bring back recollections of Bukowski's most drunken, raving, tender, and philosophically meandering moments.

That was a compliment meant in the best way.
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Old 07-08-2007, 12:10 AM   #30
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I feel like I'm mad sometimes, then I realize I am, and that's the happpiest little thing in my life, edge.
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