It's all you have left. - Writers Forum

Voodoo · 07-04-2007, 12:00 PM

I wasn't even told anything. It's amazing, how some things are allowed to pass over your head, like some goddamn bird flying to tahiti to screw when I can't even get my date to look at me.

Piss, in my glass. Liquor they call it. It's piss.

I've just had too much sorrow. To much gin, but that'ss like saying i've had enough of everything, may as well cut myself while I can. Or maybe I'm just sad.

I glanced at him and said, "Nice, man." It'd been in the bathroom of a restaurant, a fast food one at that. What a pickup line. Nice, man. It could apply to many things.

Nice man, your car is great.
Nice man, good beats.
Nice man, your brother's a looker.
Nice man, you've made me hate you.

Maybe the final one came from my dreams. Nice.

I'd seen him, thought he was good looking. Goood hair, a soft face. Seemed like a happy individual, and his member looked like it was formed by Minerva herself. My judgment was faulty, though- never take anything at face value, especially when commenting sexually on people urinating in a public bathroom.

He hadn't pushed that sloppy risk in my face though, actually gave my heart a good thump.

"Thanks." His smile, goddamn his smile. I actually think he meant it, though. He looked at me for a second, and, of course, I'd let him. He averted his eyes after the polite stare wore off. Zipped up.

I'd washed my hands in the sink beside his. Romance, that. Our first shared scent was soap and piss. Momma raised me right.

I think about this in a dark light, though, and I don't findd myself grinning. A bathroom romance it wasn't. It was a chance meeting with a nice looking stranger, hurried sex in a stall. A safe place for risk to go and die, and let its body breed freedom, little else.

Whatever I saw in him, I really did see. Later, I even grew to love him. That love was a swallowed razor.

He cheated on me, lied to me. But he's cute, and I've nothing else left.

Or maybe I'm just drunk. I think I'll call him when I get home, see about councelling. Maybe some oil.

Frabes · 07-04-2007, 12:18 PM

I couldn't help but laugh at this, whether I was supposed to or not.

Doing so made me feel dirty, like I was reading someone else's mail, laughing at how they addressed the envelope.

That said, this was a great little piece, refreshing in that it's different from just about everything I've read on this forum.

Keep it up. (honestly no pun intended)

Voodoo · 07-04-2007, 12:23 PM

I'm up, mate.
That adolescent levitra god gave me works wonders.
thankee, frabie.

penguinsfly03 · 07-04-2007, 03:39 PM

You got talent. The story was well written, even though I didn't like the theme all that much I enjoyed it.

Space-Dye Vest · 07-05-2007, 03:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by German Voodoo

Our first shared scent was soap and piss. Momma raised me right.

I loved this line. HOW do you think of such stuff, Jeremy?

Voodoo · 07-05-2007, 04:10 AM

I get hard and sad.

CSX · 07-08-2007, 03:12 AM

LOL. Some parts were pretty funny.

I saw a few typos but I tend to think they're supposed to be that way because of the liquor you mentioned.

Great job! =D

Voodoo · 07-08-2007, 10:46 AM

y==eah

that is the case