Writers Forum - WritingForums.com Home Rules FAQ Members Groups Calendar Gallery Search
» Sign Up «

Welcome to Writing Forums, one of the fastest growing writing communties on the web.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions, articles and photo galleries. By joining our free community you will be able to talk with other writers, get feedback on your work to improve your writing skills, discuss ideas, share tips & tricks, network and make friends!

Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact support.
  Search Forums
Lit.Org - Bootcamp for writers. Post your work and other writers review it, it's that easy.

Advanced Search



Go Back   Writers Forum - WritingForums.com > Creativity > Short Stories
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 06-23-2007, 04:08 AM   #1
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nashville
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,711
Voodoo is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to Voodoo
My Valence

[You could say I was inspired when I wrote this. Tell me if you think i should add more to it, though the comparison between life and lovemaking has been done to death.]


I slightly grin when I touch lips with your neck, the kind that doesn't let go, the kind that lives until the orgasm. A handshake with you is sex, lovemaking is genesis. I touch your hip, rub the skin, the tan skin that shines to my eyes, skin like such soft paper that drinks the ink, drinks my touch.

Back arched feline, hand pressed to flat chest, fingerprint to nipple, nipple to point, I kiss you in love, make you in love mine. Swirling tongues smack quietly in contentedness, whispered moans flex from our throats, beyond our intentions. You pull back from our worldmaking, smile on one side of your facing rising like dynamite. Your eyes meet mine, such liquid, razor blue orbs I could drown.

My love, he holds my chin in his palm, rubbing his fingers over posed lip, blinks his eyes in slow flash, and leans in again. We join in flesh, again, making earth and mars and jupiter in our love. My hand latches onto bark colored hair, like watercolor bleeding into needle.

We disrobe, after such unbearably sweet delay, each other, with care, lavish. Honor is killed so mercilessly, this secret, this burden made gift.

This burden made world.

Last edited by Voodoo : 06-23-2007 at 10:39 AM.
Voodoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2007, 05:22 AM   #2
Moderator
 
Shawn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Indiana
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,231
Shawn is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to Shawn
This reminds me of what I said to my best friend when I met my boyfriend.

"I met him at a party; we shook hands behind the couch."
__________________
The most frightening part of leaving a parent's home, to me, is not knowing where one's own home is.
Shawn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2007, 05:23 AM   #3
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nashville
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,711
Voodoo is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to Voodoo
Thats a dirty little anecdote, shawn.

anything about the work itself?
Voodoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2007, 05:27 AM   #4
Moderator
 
Shawn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Indiana
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,231
Shawn is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to Shawn
I don't have much to say about this, except that sex is nothing like this.

It's awkward, sometimes angry, sometimes meaningless, and if you're in a position like me, it hurts a lot. Usually afterwards, I don't know what to do so I go take a shower... hopefully not offending the other person. Don't get me started on kissing... teeth, lots of teeth and very little room to move around in. Sometimes I get startled by an idle hand and bite... of course, not on purpose.

So, in other words, I don't really have much connection with any "romantic" view of sex.
__________________
The most frightening part of leaving a parent's home, to me, is not knowing where one's own home is.
Shawn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2007, 05:29 AM   #5
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nashville
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,711
Voodoo is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to Voodoo
Thats real. I don't want to write about having to wipe the cum from your ass... and I hope to retain a hopeful view about such before I experience it. I suggest you rid yourself of someone who hurts you during sex, though. That can't be pleasant.
Voodoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2007, 05:30 AM   #6
Moderator
 
Shawn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Indiana
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,231
Shawn is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to Shawn
It's not his fault... it's just the logistics of it, Voodoo. And we can discuss this without degrading into vulgarity.
__________________
The most frightening part of leaving a parent's home, to me, is not knowing where one's own home is.
Shawn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2007, 05:33 AM   #7
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nashville
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,711
Voodoo is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to Voodoo
Logisitics, oh yes. There's such a chance of injury in lovemaking.

And sex is profane, as you said.
Voodoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2007, 05:37 AM   #8
Moderator
 
Shawn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Indiana
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,231
Shawn is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to Shawn
Not if discussed using the right words.
__________________
The most frightening part of leaving a parent's home, to me, is not knowing where one's own home is.
Shawn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2007, 05:39 AM   #9
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nashville
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,711
Voodoo is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to Voodoo


will that suffice?

I tried to use the right words, with poetic license.
Voodoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2007, 05:42 AM   #10
Moderator
 
Shawn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Indiana
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,231
Shawn is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to Shawn
I'll keep it, thank you.
__________________
The most frightening part of leaving a parent's home, to me, is not knowing where one's own home is.
Shawn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2007, 05:45 AM   #11
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nashville
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,711
Voodoo is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to Voodoo


Not all pornography is made by homeless souls.

Which one's you, which one's me?
Voodoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2007, 05:48 AM   #12
Moderator
 
Shawn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Indiana
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,231
Shawn is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to Shawn
I hope you're the one on the left.
__________________
The most frightening part of leaving a parent's home, to me, is not knowing where one's own home is.
Shawn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2007, 05:49 AM   #13
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nashville
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,711
Voodoo is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to Voodoo
Ah, then you've a lovely, seductive smile. I knew I had a big cock.... wonder what that chain's for...
Voodoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2007, 09:27 AM   #14
Prolific Writer
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Frankfurt, Germany
Gender: Male
Posts: 293
Funwriter is on a distinguished road
Woha, step away - from the content here.

I got the point early on, lets get back to the writing and critiquing eh.
__________________
____________
FW
Funwriter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2007, 09:33 AM   #15
Banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nashville
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,711
Voodoo is on a distinguished road
Send a message via MSN to Voodoo
Sorry brother, shawn and I got carried away.

State your opinion of the piece.

Last edited by Voodoo : 06-23-2007 at 09:36 AM.
Voodoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:28 AM.
Powered by vBulletin, Copyright ©2000-2007, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0


 
You are NOT Logged In.
User Name:

Password



Newsletter

Subscribe to Majestic
the official newsletter of Writing Forums and lit.org
Email:


Related Links

Link to Us:
Writing Forums - Discussions for Writers