Deadbolt

This was something I wrote a couple of weeks ago. The geography is a little wrong, it should have been northwestern coast of Scotland rather than the coast of Skye, but when I wrote that it was relevant because I didn't put in the part when he comes from Edinburgh. Basically according to the geography here, he drove over the water to Skye haha.

I don't really think this is very good in the grand scheme of things, I hadn't really been writing before this so no real practice.



It was the dead of night. The exact time escaped me, in fact I was fairly sure time was not a factor tonight. The only thing that mattered was that voice, her voice. I couldn’t think about anything else, I don’t think I would want to think about anything else even if I tried. All I knew was that I was standing shin deep in freezing water, staring out into the ocean from the coast of Skye. That was all I knew for certain, but I had a lot more on mind that was anything from certain.

This beach was my place. It always has been, ever since I was young. First steps, first bike, first friends, first love. This beach was part of me, it was part of my identity, and that’s why I think she was here for me, she knows who I am, she has to. Countless night’s I have spent at this beach, looking out to the ocean. Nothing changes here, ever. The same seagulls circle the nearby coast, the same black wave’s crash into the same rocks and the same lighthouse shines out onto the same sea. That’s the way it’s always been, so what was different about tonight? Why did it change? Who was that figure the light shone on in the sea? How did they get there? Where are they now?

It was a woman, only a woman could mesmerise a man in such a way, but it was the voice that gave it away. The voice was like that of a siren. Beautiful, engaging, intoxicating. When I heard that voice I had to be near her, I kicked off my shoes and started to wade into the icy water. The water was numbingly cold but it didn’t matter, all that mattered was that I was near her. The light had passed and I was trying to follow the voice, I could feel it getting louder, I knew I was getting close. Then it stopped, everything stopped. The voice was gone, the presence was gone and when the light shone back over the ocean, the figure had gone. Surely I didn’t imagine it, could I have dreamt it possibly? She was so real. I felt a bond with her, her voice connected us.

So what now? Here I am standing in the ocean, deathly cold and profoundly confused. I was convinced she was real, she had to be. I had to know for sure, but how? I had been to this beach a million times and never has this happened. Would I really need to come back to this beach every single night? The thought was preposterous but somehow accessible and hopeful. I walked back onto the beach although I didn’t take my eyes off the ocean once. I rolled my trousers back down and found my shoes. It was time to rest, the whole ordeal had drained me of energy to the point where I felt giddy, but I had to get back to normal, back to reality.

I sat on the beach while I composed myself. The whole thing had shaken me to my core. I simply couldn’t figure out what to make of it. Half of me wanted to forget all about it, and the other half wanted to fall deep in the water and be consumed forever. But I was a rational man, I believed in logic and this just didn’t seem logical. I had to leave, and I knew that if I left now I could never return. What had happened this night was now as much a part of me as the rest of this place, another first. It would pain me to never come back here, part of my life would be omitted forever. But maybe then I could start again, turn my back on my old life and become a new man. Perhaps that’s why she came tonight, I mean it’s sure as hell why I was there. I knew I needed to move on, I was looking for answers and maybe, just maybe I had found it. A reason to stay away and never return. It was almost liberating.

I picked myself up and had one last look out to the ocean, I muttered goodbye to my childhood haven and walked away. I didn’t look back as I walked up the craggy path. I didn’t look back as I walked across the forest trail and I didn’t look back as I walked down the long dark road on the way to my hotel. The next day I checked out, got on a bus and swore never to return to Skye.

I had never thought about that night, not in a long time. In the four years that had passed since that night on the coast of Skye a lot had changed. I had turned my life around, I done everything I told myself I was going to do. The most important thing was that I had never returned, in fact I hadn’t thought about it at all, until tonight.

Here I am in a hotel room in Edinburgh, wide awake in the middle of the night. She came to me in my dreams, it was so real. The water and wind was so cold that it woke me up, I could almost still hear her voice. That voice brought everything back to me, I remembered the feeling of intensity I felt that night, God I had never felt like that since. Once again she was all I could think about, I had to know more about her, she wanted me to come to her that night. I think she wants me to go back, that’s what this is all about, she’s calling out for me. I have to go to her.

I realized now that the last four years had been a mistake, I should have never given up that night. She was crying out for me and I left her, how could I have been so selfish. My career, my family, my home, none of that matters, it should never had mattered after that night, only her. So what was my next move? I quickly got dressed and paced around the room for a moment while I pondered my plan. I had to get back to the beach, this much was certain, but how and when? I decided I couldn’t wait another second. I ran out of the hotel leaving my check out details at the front desk. I jumped in my car and skidded away from the parking deck, I was focussed on one thing and that was getting to that beach as soon as I possibly could, I could feel her longing for me and it pained me to keep her waiting.

I drove all through the night, like a maniac I drove to get to her. Nothing else was important anymore, I cursed myself so many times for not staying that night. Four years I had wasted, I would need to make it up to her, but she would forgive me, why else would she have been in my dreams had she had been angry at me. No, she wanted me to come, her voice told it all.

Hours passed, but I drove on relentlessly. Determined to reach my goal, she was my future now and nothing was going to stand in my way. Each second that passed was a second that was bringing me closer, and I could feel it, I could feel her getting closer. The sense of excitement and urgency was overwhelming, I wasn’t thinking straight but this wasn’t a time for thinking, this was about raw passion and love. The thought brought a smile to my face, I was finally in love and she was only a short while away. Not long now, not long now.

I was there. I had parked the car near the small forest trail that lead to the beach. I raced out the car not even bothering to close the door. I darted down the trail as fast as I could, it was dark but I knew exactly where I was going, it only took me a matter of minutes to reach the beach. When I emerged from the forest I started to kick off my shoes as I ran down the craggy path. The stones cut through the soles my feet but the pain didn’t matter anymore, I know when I was with her I wouldn’t feel any pain.

I looked out onto the beach and there she was. The light shone over the ocean like it did that night, she sung the same song as she did that night, and the presence, and the intensity was the same as it was that night. This time I would make no mistakes, this time I would be all hers. I ran as fast as my bloody feet would take me. Almost delirious I jumped in the ocean and I swam as hard as I could, following her voice. Her song told me that she had been waiting for me. She told me how much I had hurt her that night when I turned my back on the ocean. She forgave me though, completely and utterly. I drew closer to her and I felt her pull me down. This is where we were going. This is where I would be happy. I let her take control. I let her take me to my new life. I was already happier, the water was bliss. Every second that passed I felt myself becoming weaker, she was my strength now. I felt the oxygen escape my lungs, but she was my air now. Everything went dark, but she was my light now, and she would be forever.

LydiaJ

This piece of work is amazing.

Aside form a few time problems. Such as, when you mention "now" you start writing in present tense, but later it changes back to past tense.

Also I noticed a few spelling mistakes, which I cant point out right now. The only one that comes to mind is "and never has this happened" had, not has.

So apart from this I think you did a really good job at portraying his obsession, by keeping up the mystery...

Maybe at the end you could have almost an epilogue. Something like a news report of a man found dead in the water or something? I dont know if it would ruin the atmosphere. But it seemed as if you were going for an eery atmosphere... and that fits.

Anywho, great story, I liked it.

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