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Without a doubt you are a writer of stories; your humour is subtle, very subtle in fact. This story is publishable; though the publishing houses out there will never entertain the idea, but that's their loss.
A few obserations;
"He thought, almost painless and smiled." doesn't scan correctly.
"Martin thought to himself, thank god he'd had no children." Possibly it should read "thank god I've no children."
"He began to fight, knowing that he could not win" Why would someone fight if there was no point and thought they had no chance?
Apart from those few minor details; bloody good.
Keep at it Sir, you're on a winner.
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criticism is the engine beneath the hood of perfection
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Stuff I've posted in the past is still worthy of being critiqued. Please check it out and have your say. I will return the favour.
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