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| Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words. |
06-25-2007, 07:51 PM
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#16
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Banned
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nashville
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,711
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Chris
Cheers!
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King the liquor. |
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06-26-2007, 02:23 AM
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#17
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Frankfurt, Germany
Gender: Male
Posts: 293
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Germanvoodoo, thanks as always for your clear and sound response.
ChrisF, thanks for the read. There are more stories from my pea brain on this site. Please have a look. I'll have another look at the end, it just came to me that way though.
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06-26-2007, 02:32 AM
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#18
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Banned
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nashville
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,711
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Funwriter
clear and sound response
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sorry about that. |
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06-26-2007, 05:05 AM
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#19
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Frankfurt, Germany
Gender: Male
Posts: 293
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Germanvoodoo, no worries, I enjoy your comments, always interesting.
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06-26-2007, 05:14 AM
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#20
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Banned
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nashville
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,711
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get that a lot, except it has "now fuck off" in it.
thanks. |
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06-26-2007, 05:23 AM
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#21
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Frankfurt, Germany
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Oh no, I hope not.
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06-26-2007, 05:25 AM
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#22
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Banned
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nashville
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,711
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haha, people don't like me !!!!
anyhow, mr. frankfurt.
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06-26-2007, 10:57 AM
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#23
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Grimsby, England
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,866
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so a man about to die would have such random thoughts as his baldness!!?? in all the wrong places. i'm bald and no matter where it is it's in the wrong place. that is not negotiable as far as i'm concerned it has to change or go! on the word 'Micro' that's up for debate
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don't count me a blank page
waiting to be written on,
see me as a written page
waiting to be photocopied.
http://www.writersbeat.com
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06-26-2007, 10:58 AM
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#24
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Banned
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Nashville
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,711
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You think weird things before you take the plunge, azmakna.
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06-26-2007, 12:01 PM
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#25
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Frankfurt, Germany
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Azmakna, I am going bald and oddly enough, I would rather it be in other spots. Perhaps for someone else that was bald early or quickly it would be different. Not sure, not willing to change this one.
Thanks for responding, always good to hear from you.
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06-26-2007, 05:43 PM
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#26
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Apr 2007
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Funwriter
Azmakna, I am going bald and oddly enough, I would rather it be in other spots. Perhaps for someone else that was bald early or quickly it would be different. Not sure, not willing to change this one.
Thanks for responding, always good to hear from you.
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lol... it's your right to defend every word fella
even though it's wrong.................
__________________
don't count me a blank page
waiting to be written on,
see me as a written page
waiting to be photocopied.
http://www.writersbeat.com
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06-26-2007, 06:15 PM
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#27
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Haha, ok, I'll consider it again
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06-26-2007, 06:21 PM
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#28
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Grimsby, England
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,866
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i'll go through it again once you've adjusted stuff
__________________
don't count me a blank page
waiting to be written on,
see me as a written page
waiting to be photocopied.
http://www.writersbeat.com
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06-26-2007, 06:33 PM
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#29
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Frankfurt, Germany
Gender: Male
Posts: 293
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Thanks man.
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06-26-2007, 07:40 PM
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#30
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 227
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Hi. I thought your story had great description. The grammar was fine for the most part, but some of the sentences seemed like they were too long and used too many commas. It seems like there wasn't much emotion when he performed his suicide or much of an explanation behind why he did it. I understand that his wife left him, but you didn't really explain why that made him commit suicide. It just seemed like he didn't like his dingy apartment.
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A bit of advice for my fellow human beings: Read Jane Eyre!
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