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Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words.

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Old 06-16-2007, 12:20 PM   #1
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Sitting There All Day.

“Sitting there all day, is there no other way to extinguish all hope of anything more?”
“Is there a way help with the pain that has been festering inside?”
“No.”
LJ stands up from the rock he was sitting on; the rock on a cliff with water crashing below. He stared out at the stars and pictured his life. His thoughts brought him to the before and after which spread through his eyes like a wild fire in the woods. “Why do I think of such nonsense?” He asked himself looking for some guidance in himself. There was no sound telling him what he was doing. “Why am I up here? Joanna is not with me.” He whispered thinking about the first time he had brought her here. Joanna loved coming up here but something had happened. LJ went away to war a few weeks later and she had gone missing.
“The tides of war wash all that’s in its way...” LJ said placing his hand on the stone she used to sit on. War had spread to the country and like a plague it killed anyone and everyone that had tried to stand and fight. America was under attack by a new faction called The Fireflies who had come from a mixture of countries. LJ didn’t get home in time to defend the Motherland but instead he had come back a week after it was done. “Your soul should be at peace now my special love.”
His eyes grew larger and then there was a small little Idea that he was going to do. “The Twilight Veil is almost here. To get her back I will make her an Angel….soul bound to me.”
LJ waited a few more minutes for the moon to go down and the sun the stay down. There was nothing in the sky. No stars or moons. He clapped his hands and placed them on the ground where he was standing. “This war has torn many hearts apart but tonight I will play the symphony of rebirth.”
The ground lit up with a blue aura and then shattered like a glass window. “Be born again!” LJ yelled out placing all his energy into the aura. There was a crack of lightening and LJ covered his eyes as the bolt hit the section of up turned ground. “LJ is that really you?” a calm voice asked in the back of his mind. He opened his eyes to see a perfect sun rise; Joanna stood there with a small smile on her face. The wind was blowing her white angel robes every which way. He changed to his Angelic clothing too but he was more concerned on how she had died. Joanna explained that her street was bombed and no one survived. “Your family is gone?” LJ asked thinking about her sister who lives in Greece. Joanna nodded and he brought his wings out; they sparkled like the oceans mist. “I am going to exact revenge on those bastards who started this all once and for all!” LJ yelled taking out a long scythe made or still beating organs of a mythological beast called a Daemon. “Why do you have to show anger to those who have already wronged someone else?” Joanna asked bringing her wings out. “They have done too much to hurt everyone so now it is my turn to do the same. Follow if you will but in the end I shall have the last laugh.”
He was going to take off but Joanna grabbed him by the arm. He turned around and she kissed him on his lips. “Remember this as you go into battle. Let this be your lighthouse in a never ending sea of blood. LJ I shall wait here for you to come back so don’t die without me.”
LJ took those words and locked them away in his heart so that there was no way to forget them in his chain of memories. Before long he was standing on the front lines. “Europe is in its winter while the rest are coming into their spring. Let’s end this and bring peace to the world.”
LJ ran past his own side and started to kill anyone he had seen. People around him lay slain, but that was only one line. There was more for him to take out. “Don’t die…” He remembered as a plan dropped bombs around him; The payload burst causing loud booms around him. Fire rained upon him and he stood proud with a blank stare. “I will come back to you Joanna. Your life is my life and your happiness is the thing that I want to keep!” LJ yelled through the bombing.
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Last edited by FinalsTwin : 06-16-2007 at 02:59 PM.
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Old 06-16-2007, 01:01 PM   #2
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Finalstwin,

I really liked the story but have a couple of thoughts. I am not %100 sure, but I do not think I saw a comma anywhere. and I would recommend spacing between paragraphs to make it a smoother read.

You've got a great idea here, give it a re-read and quick edit.

ie. "The waves from the water below the cliff was crashing against the ground."
-Perhaps a re-word here.
"He ran into the Fireflies forces and started to kill anyone he had seen."
-similar to the above

Very good though.
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Old 06-16-2007, 02:56 PM   #3
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Okay so I added some ;'s and well change the sentences around. If anything else needs to be changed tell me since I need the practice
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Last edited by FinalsTwin : 06-16-2007 at 03:00 PM.
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