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Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words.

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Old 06-06-2007, 10:53 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 45
friendshipalways is on a distinguished road
Treasure trove

At the beach, a balmy morning, the fresh breeze blew against my furrowed brow...I caught a glimpse of shiny metal far away, i hurried my steps it's way...on reaching there i knelt beside, used my hands to scoop the sand aside...

from beneath the sand, i unearthed a chest, crafted in hard wood, some gold and jewels. I unhooked the clasp and opened the top, to find within gold bars. There was a note, which i held up and read

'This chest of gold belongs to Miriam, who won the heart of Sir Graham, he was rich
and famous, she married him and sailed the seven seas, one dark stormy night her dagger found his heart, she took off with the gold bars. The small boat she took
drowned in the storm and ever since those who found the chest, have lost it all'

Such dilemma, valuable gold! my palms were sweaty, my heart beat fast, what should i do with the gold bars? I closed my eyes and thought of the betrayed, when the dagger cut his body, it was his heart that failed...tainted love never brought luck, i took the chest and cast it back into the sea, this was how it was meant to be...
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Old 06-08-2007, 02:02 PM   #2
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Location: raleigh, nc
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Sarcazmo is on a distinguished road
I like this, I like the pace.

Has some flaws, I think -- but I can't exactly articulate what's bothering me.

I do like how it begins and how it ends.

Best,
Sarcazmo
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Old 06-08-2007, 07:25 PM   #3
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Join Date: Jun 2007
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friendshipalways is on a distinguished road
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarcazmo
I like this, I like the pace.

Has some flaws, I think -- but I can't exactly articulate what's bothering me.

I do like how it begins and how it ends.

Best,
Sarcazmo
Thanks!
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