Dream of Roses (1,500 Words) - Writers Forum

nineteen · 06-01-2007, 05:57 AM

ok, you win. i'm going to post this.

this is base on the phillosophical idea "as you gaze into the long abyss, the abyss gazes into you."

so here's my strange phillospihy (no, it's not boring) there are some other ideas in here... "i think therefore i am " is one. can't rember the rest, i was in a bad mood when i wrote it, i'm in a bad mood now.

however i got told this is the best thing i've written? not sure, but we'll see.

enjoy.
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The darkness was so pure that it shined.

A darkness that was not simply a lack of light, but a thing all of its own. This was a void, an abyssal nothingness that reflected the emptiness in the hearts of all men. Darkness so complete that it touched the very soul and shook one’s belief in one’s own existence.

Blackness was all Mathew could see, it went on and on around him forever. But in his heart he knew this was nothing compared to the darkness within him.

"Matthew? We have to keep going," said a voice from beyond the range of Matthew’s senses, but he did not really listen to it. A hand on his shoulder woke him from his daze and moved his eyes away from the abyss. Matthew touched the fingers on his shoulder, as if to check they were real.

"Matthew?" Came the voice again, "Are you ok?"

Matthew had to stifle a laugh "ok" was a term he would never be able to use to describe himself again. He stood blankly looking all around him at nothing, how could he be whole again after being in this place?

"Matthew?" the voice said again, this time more impatiently,

"I’m coming, Fire" he replied suddenly, patting the hand of The Fire, "Which way do we go now?"

The Fire slipped his hand down to Matthew’s wrist,

"Follow me," he said, tugging Matthew in an indistinct direction. It was so dark all around that location seemed to be an abstract concept here; where they were and where they were going may as well be the same place.

Matthew let himself be dragged along and after a few paces The Fire released his grip – which was good because his hands were cold – and Matthew followed the noise of his footsteps. A noise which was strangely muffled, like he was wearing sponges on his feet, even though the floor was stone and The Fire had boots on.

But still Matthew followed the soft padding of his guide; he had no other choice, going back was hardly an option. The place was a maze, and you couldn’t see your fingers, even if you were poking your eyes out with them, so the only option was following The Fire – and he wasn’t turning back.

Matthew had no idea how his guide was navigating or even what the place they were in looked like. Every now and then he made a sharp right or left, which led Matthew to assume that the place was made up of linear tunnels that ran at right angles. It also seemed fair to assume that they were currently underground; there were no windows at all. But there was no damp, earthy smell like you might expect, only an odourless world all around.

The absolute darkness had become not so much terrifying as it was utterly calming; there were no distractions, no other sensations to interrupt the thoughts. Matthew absently followed the footfalls of The Fire while he looked at the darkness.

No, not at it, into it. He tried to force his eyes to look past the darkness, most of his mind said ‘It’s just really dark’, but another part objected. Matthew looked to where he thought The Fire was and tried to peel away his own perception and look past the world around him.

The darkness revealed itself to him, not with more layers of itself, but with an array of colour. The colours swirled before him, moving like metallic paint on water. Yet he realised that this was the darkness.

The colours moved around him, so bright that they shined like the midnight sun. Dazzling.

Somehow the image was familiar to him, but not in a distinct kind of way, like the memory of his first kiss. But he felt like the darkness reminded him of a more distant, more intangible memory - like that of being born. De ja Vu? Perhaps, but it felt deeper.

The colours moved closer to him, like they were alive, dancing and swirling. Speaking the truths.

The Fire made another left, or at least it was probably a left; assuming that reality had not collapsed and left nothing but a timeless void. The colours had gone, revealing the abyss once more.

The black revealed another layer of itself, or rather it peeled away an old one. Now it became deeper, an actual nothingness.

Was it possible that there was only darkness? Perhaps all reality was just a guise for an endless void, in which there is only consciousness, and the worlds within their dreams? The emptiness questioned Matthew’s very sensation of being real, what did it mean to be real?

Are you real if you can see, hear, talk and think? Well at that moment Matthew could only do three of those things, so perhaps then he had ceased to exist.

Another turn; a right this time. Well, he suspected it was, the padded footfalls sundered the ground ahead and he supposed that the direction was irrelevant, so long as he was still behind The Fire. It seemed that his footsteps grew quieter as he walked on. They now just seemed to be a dull heartbeat in the distance, the void was taking another of his senses.

But he could not see The Fire either, so did that meant he did not exist? Just because he could not see him, and now barely hear him?

But no-one could see Matthew either, so perhaps this was what it was like to not exist.

The darkness spoke a thousand words, it quizzed him; asked him how it was to be human. What does it mean to be a man, to try to understand your own existence?

The answer, of course, was: it’s painful. How can you actually question your own ability to question your own existence? Many have tried, but how can they hope to succeed?

Yet another turn, no direction this time; in essence they were going straight on. The darkness reached out to touch Matthew, to absorb him. It was so thick, like a sheet of black velvet all around. But, that was impossible; darkness is not something, by definition it is a lack of something.

What is darkness apart from a lack of light?

Matthew turned to the abyss around him, he turned in the direction of its ears, for to exist it must be able to hear,

What are you? How are you? Darkness only exist because of the absence of light, there was no darkness before the universe, because there was no light.

It answered with another question: how can there be a universe before you?

Matthew laughed. Of course the universe existed before him!

Then some magic little pixies cam out from no where and they began to dance, dance, dance, then they flew up to space and then things got serious…

KA-POW the magic pixie-shuttle exploded and then the sky rained brussel sprouts and we all cried since the magic big dog died, then Matthew forgot all that and turned back to his walking, but in his mind he would always remember the magic pixies.

Didn’t it? He could never prove it. He could never prove that anyone else ever existed before he was born.

Perhaps when he wasn’t looking people just popped out of existence, and then they came back into it when he looked at them again. Maybe this world was a fabrication of his, or someone else’s imagination. Maybe there is no life after death. Maybe the great awful truth is that there can be no great awful truth in this universe.
Dark. It was just so dark. Like some great power had scooped the universe out from around him. But it was still there, even though he could see it, wasn’t it?

All the little atoms dancing around on the stone floor, in his skin, in the air and in the core of the sun. Protons, electrons, neutrons, neutrinos, quarks. It was all so logical, yet the universe itself defies logic. There’s no meaning.

There can be no meaning.

Matthew opened his lips, the skin separated slowly and unknowingly. A question formed on them, a question that the darkness dared him to ask, tried to squeeze out him.

Matthew looked deeper into the abyss, but it was all the same. His eyes broke through one layer of blackness only to revel another and another and another, forever until the end of infinity.

The question burned on his tongue as the darkness tried to make its way into his open mouth.

He shut he lips, but he was still besieged by the tingling darkness. It touched him all over at once, reminding him of his sense of touch, and that he was human. His pores tingled as the void tried to enter him. The question! The only question that ever needed to be answered!

It had to be shouted, to be wept and sobbed. Someone ought to have screamed it from the rooftops. Matthew opened his mouth and took what felt like his last breath,

"Why does the universe exist at all?"

The darkness vanished from around him. The answer came in a blinding fury of light, the last voice of the darkness told him the truth - the only answer that ever needs to be given,

Because it does.

Then there was only light.

FoggyImagination · 06-01-2007, 08:51 AM

The visuals...of no visuals

are mindblowing. So many questions and not one damn answer. Isn't that the way it goes? Because it does... just what you would expect.

And the thought processes just the sort of fitful, frustrating circles you get when you really take the time to THINK.

I really enjoyed this, I think you could develop the ideas more to keep up with your awesome descriptions. Think harder, delve deeper. There's so much going on here.

Awesome write.

Charlie_Eleanor · 06-01-2007, 09:06 AM

I am so happy to read something else of yours nineteen. I missed it, I dare say. Very good, very enjoyable, as foggy said the visuals of no visuals were great.

Two critiques for you:
1. I really don't like the first line. It feels cheesy in comparison to the rest of the piece.
2. It is difficult to make this kind of think not redundant. 99% of the time you did a wonderful job! However, there are a few spots where every sentence in a paragraph said Matthew did this. Then Matthew did that. Then mathew was part of a great story starring Matthew. I am exagerating, and it is just a peeve of mine.

Very well done!!!

nineteen · 06-01-2007, 09:19 AM

thanx a lot you two! i felt that no-one would like this. i've tried my best to get a very personal point across. the nature of exisatance is diffucult to understand, and it's hard for me to explain my ideas on it. i tend to forget them most of the time, because it's to dperessing to think of them.

if you say to most people "if a tree falls in toe forest and no-one hears it, does it make a sound?" they'll say 'yes'. but it takes a lot mentally and a lot of courage to think that answer might be "no". that's my thought.

no-one i know really understands the phrase "as you gaze into the long abyss, the abyss gazes into you", not all people are so thoughtful.

but what i'm saying is, this is quite personal for me and i'm glad that other people at least "get" it. so thank you both.

and foggy, i tried to go deeper, think harder, but it's very difficult...

thanks too CE, thought i don't underastand your second point.

FoggyImagination · 06-01-2007, 10:05 AM

Yep, its incredibly difficult. But there's your start... build on it... the more you think the easier it is, although you'll inevitably raise more questions than you answer.

And I guess whether or not it is depressing is how you view what you find. Is it really depressing that there is no real, concrete reason for existence? Its scary, yes... but is it sad to question whether this is reality or a constant dream posed as reality... or whatever other options you may come up with? Is it depressing to discover for yourself the why's and how's of who, what and where you are?

Or is it freeing? Hopeful?

The more you understand, the more you can take an active role.

But as for the piece, wonderful. All I'm saying is keep at it. Its a fascinating place to explore.

apple · 06-01-2007, 01:40 PM

I was tranfixed. Not one word was a throw away. The visuals and mood and the journey was fresh and beautiful and even scary. The pixies and brussel sprouts raining from the sky took me totally by surprise . I loved it. What a wonderful writer you are.

nineteen · 06-01-2007, 01:46 PM

thanc for the comment there, very nice of you. i'm honoured that this is the first thing you've read here! thank you very much.

rember to be harsh when you crit too...