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| Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words. |
07-23-2007, 09:41 PM
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#31
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Writer
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: QLD, Australia
Gender: Female
Posts: 44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kuntfinger
Zensati, it's like a dollop of drunkeness, a hint of sarcasm, and a tad of Vonnegut. It's better than anything I've read here since I arrived (apart from my story of course, which gives me a boner just thinking about it).
In a place where everyone is tight-lipped, tight-arsed and over-elaborate, a nice chunk of basic craziness is what is needed.
Shame you ended it so quick!
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someones also been reading maddox by the sounds of it, thats who i imidiatly thought of lol
As for the story, i enjoy a little nonsensical odd stuff every so often, but it has to be written legibly, or well enough to keep the person wanting to read. |
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10-23-2007, 01:16 AM
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#32
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Best Seller
Join Date: May 2007
Location: In your imagination
Gender: Male
Posts: 642
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Quote:
Originally Posted by abba12
someones also been reading maddox by the sounds of it, thats who i imidiatly thought of lol
As for the story, i enjoy a little nonsensical odd stuff every so often, but it has to be written legibly, or well enough to keep the person wanting to read.
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Come on! This is a work of genius!
__________________
Nature is my God.
Money is your God.
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10-23-2007, 07:55 AM
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#33
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Mentor
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Fergus, Ontario CA
Posts: 2,495
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Didn't read it all yet, but found the first post really funny. Like early gohn67 work with maybe a bit more attitude and less metaphor. Could use an edit. But the immature style kind of works for it.
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10-23-2007, 10:11 AM
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#34
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Addict
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Central Indiana
Gender: Male
Posts: 113
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I think this story should be cast down into the fiery pits of hell... Maybe someone down there is bored enough to want to read this story, without gouging their eyeballs out, 'cuz I came damn close to doing so myself. I feel slightly defiled after reading this...
Sorry mate, not trying to be harsh, but it's oh so true...
PEACE
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10-23-2007, 12:05 PM
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#35
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Scribe
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Darkest Dorset, England
Gender: Male
Posts: 61
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Next time, do one with giant robots in it.
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10-23-2007, 07:28 PM
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#36
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Writer
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 38
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"Alien trouble eh?" responded Bobby.
"Yeah." said Mark "Alien Fuxxer just busted me roof!"
"Cripes!" said Bobby "Thats a real pain up the rectum! Do you want me to bring the old Panzerfaust down?"
"No!" shouted Mark angrily. "Im sick of you and your Fuxxing Bazookas!"
I thought this story was hilarious back when you first posted it, and I still do. Good work.
__________________
"Hint everything - assert nothing. If you feel inclined to say 'bread and butter,' do not by any means say it outright. You may say anything and everything approaching to 'bread and butter.' You may hint at at buck-wheat cake, or you may ever go so far as to insinuate oat-meal porridge, but if bread and butter be your real meaning, be cautious, my dear Miss Psyche, not on any account to say 'bread and butter'!" Edgar Allan Poe
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10-23-2007, 08:14 PM
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#37
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Writer
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Somewhere of interest...
Gender: Male
Posts: 35
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Bits of it are genius. I like characters who over use the f-word becuase I'm kind of immature that way. It makes me laugh. This would be a funny story if it was just better written. You ought to look back through it and fix up a couple things. Some words are irrelevant causing sentences to get a little mixed up. The story would make for a wonderful 1000 word or so story, just work at it. Cheers!
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10-23-2007, 11:20 PM
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#38
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Best Seller
Join Date: May 2007
Location: In your imagination
Gender: Male
Posts: 642
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Cool. thanx 4 all the feedback guys.
__________________
Nature is my God.
Money is your God.
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10-27-2007, 03:30 AM
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#39
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Scribe
Join Date: May 2007
Location: New York
Gender: Male
Posts: 67
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When I first read this all I could say was 'what?'. (I actually cursed, but that's irrelevant.) I had to read it over to make sure I read it right the first time. I couldn't stop laughing after the re-read. Good stuff, odd, but good.
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I wish I had something clever to put here
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10-27-2007, 06:06 AM
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#40
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Best Seller
Join Date: May 2007
Location: In your imagination
Gender: Male
Posts: 642
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lazerbeak
Next time, do one with giant robots in it.
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Cool Idea. The sequel to this story will be called, "MARK AND THE GIANT EFFING ROBOTS!"
__________________
Nature is my God.
Money is your God.
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10-27-2007, 06:10 AM
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#41
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Best Seller
Join Date: May 2007
Location: In your imagination
Gender: Male
Posts: 642
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RyeCatcher24
When I first read this all I could say was 'what?'. (I actually cursed, but that's irrelevant.) I had to read it over to make sure I read it right the first time. I couldn't stop laughing after the re-read. Good stuff, odd, but good.
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Thanx dude. I think its great that you found it odd. I always try to write odd stuff.
__________________
Nature is my God.
Money is your God.
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10-27-2007, 09:24 AM
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#42
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: America.
Gender: Male
Posts: 481
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Who were the two douchebags having an AIM conversation on the first page? Anyways...I'ma read this now.
__________________
"And only as you gasp your dying breath shall you understand, your life amounted to no more than one drop in a limitless ocean!"
Yet what is any ocean but a multitude of drops?
-Cloud Atlas, David Mitchell
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12-12-2007, 07:24 PM
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#43
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Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 3
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Hi Zensati
I thought this story was great cried with laughter all through it.
I want more chapters. Excellent!
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12-15-2007, 06:24 AM
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#44
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Writer
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 37
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Right on Zen. Keep at it dude! Ten bucks says youŽll be the only scribe out of all of us whoŽll get published. Deeeeee haaaawww!!!!
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12-16-2007, 04:22 AM
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#45
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Best Seller
Join Date: May 2007
Location: In your imagination
Gender: Male
Posts: 642
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Thanks Cowboy and Gazza! I am going to write a sequel to this.
__________________
Nature is my God.
Money is your God.
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