Zensati

Well I always wanted to do a kamikaze so here goes!

Zensati

6

All of a sudden Zirkon the Bodmer rushed out of nowhere his massive phallic spear aimed at Marks obnoxious head.

Mark managed to dodge sideways as the spear rushed past his cranium, Mark responded by lashing at Zirkons head with his baseball bat, but as soon as Marks bat hit Zirkons alien helm, then the bat broke apart. And Mark was left defenseless.

Zirkon lashed sideways with his alien spear, but Mark ducked and managed to avoid the weopon, he lashed out a side kick and again it was ineffectual glancing off the aliens armour.

Zirkon went to attack again but Mark decided to leg it, Zirkon the Bodmer pursued him and he sprinted after Mark down the street, Mark was running for his miserable life.

Voodoo

Bosmer... you play too Elder Scrolls.

bosmers are ugly little creatures, you'd been better off with a breton or an altmer.

Zensati

oops. that was a mistake, I have edited the name.

Voodoo

a lovely insult at literature, zensati.

Zensati

I dont like literature. So I'll take that as a compliment.

Voodoo

Enjoy yourself on a writing forum. At this point, I'm a little down in the dumps, so I'll delay my adobe pirating in an effort to come onto you.

hey, sweet cheeks. lookin' like a spread sailor.

Zensati

er.. well I guess my story needed more Gayness. Unfortunately I like Girls, even though they all drive me insane!

Last girl I was with had huge boobs, but I had to let her go cause she kept moaning! Damn I'm gonna miss those Boobs!

jimmymuppet

..oh god. What a douche.

__________________
K*R*P

Zensati

I mean yeah she was beautiful with a large rack and good in Bed, but she was so distrusting and unstable, I dont think she valued what we had.

I'm pretty sure I did the right thing, she would have ended up driving me around the bend.

Zensati

7

Mark ran for what seemed an hour through the Night, with the Alien in hot pursuit but he could not lose his pursuer, Mark saw some guy riding down the road on a motor bike, as the bike approached Mark leapt at the rider and kicked him clear off his bike with a flying kick. the Rider landed harshly on the ashfalt and Mark skillfully landed on the Bike and took control of the handles. He then turned the bike around and sped away from the oncoming Alien who screamed a howl of frustration knowing it would not be able to keep up with Mark.

Mark sped away on his newly aquired Bike and wondered If he would be able to make it in time for his Taekwondo Class. He had survived another day in his miserable Life and strangely It felt Good?

THE END

atmyexpense

"Mark sat on his couch in his dingy Flat, watching a Dvd in his lounge room, He looked muscly in his wifebeater shirt and Shorts."

I stopped reading after this sentence because of the errors in it. You need to take the time to edit your work, or no one will want to read it. I'm sorry if that's harsh, but it's the truth.

""Mark sat on his couch in his dingy Flat, watching a Dvd"

First off, why is "flat" capitalized? If he was in an apartment, would you capitalize "apartment"? Nope.

Second, you have a misplaced modifier. What the sentence says is the flat is watching a dvd. The participle needs to be closer to the noun, Mark.

Lastly, the comma after lounge room needs to be a period.

Hope this helps

Matt

pualdo

Reading this story is like sniffing leaded gasoline. But like that, it's also FUN! This sort of intentionally-retarded brain candy is good, but I don't indulge a lot. It's funny, but you can laugh too much you know. That's how I find things to be.

Sometimes I embrace tripe like this to avoid feeling like a literature snob. And I'm sorry to the writer of this, but literature also rules, not just your little brand of funny garbage.

Kuntfinger

Zensati, it's like a dollop of drunkeness, a hint of sarcasm, and a tad of Vonnegut. It's better than anything I've read here since I arrived (apart from my story of course, which gives me a boner just thinking about it).

In a place where everyone is tight-lipped, tight-arsed and over-elaborate, a nice chunk of basic craziness is what is needed.

Shame you ended it so quick!

Zensati

Glad you enjoyed this story, maybe I'll write a sequel.