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Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words.

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Old 04-24-2007, 08:21 AM   #1
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Exclamation Need help please!

Hi everyone. I am currently writing a story on dowry burnings in India and for this particular incidence I aim to describe the actual burning. However, when I write, it seems so superficial and not emotional, heart-wrenching or real enough, would someone please be able to help me?
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Old 04-24-2007, 09:12 AM   #2
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...i'd need to see what you wrote but i may be able to help
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Old 04-24-2007, 09:17 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yts
Hi everyone. I am currently writing a story on dowry burnings in India and for this particular incidence I aim to describe the actual burning. However, when I write, it seems so superficial and not emotional, heart-wrenching or real enough, would someone please be able to help me?
that's a big ask without any material to consider. but if you are still writing it try not to make just a visual scene, remember smell and taste.
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Old 04-24-2007, 09:17 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yts
Hi everyone. I am currently writing a story on dowry burnings in India and for this particular incidence I aim to describe the actual burning. However, when I write, it seems so superficial and not emotional, heart-wrenching or real enough, would someone please be able to help me?
Right. I would need to see it. Without seeing it, the only advice I can give you is to use more description. More emotion. This will bring the reader in and make it seem more realistic. Hope that helps.
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Old 04-25-2007, 04:40 PM   #5
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Sensory details work best. You're probably tired of hearing this but...show us something to work with.
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Old 04-25-2007, 05:37 PM   #6
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All I could suggest is that you recall the bonfires you have been around and remember how they appeared, the flames, the smoke, the smell. How the flames consumed the material, then think about how a hog roast would happen. The hog being on a spit, turning, the flesh gradually being burnt, the fat of the hog dripping and being hot enough to catch light. How the flesh gradually blackens at first then how the rate of slow blackening increases as the hog's temperature increases.
And as you want to capture the emotion I think the visual description and a description of the smells ought to do it.
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Old 07-10-2007, 10:44 PM   #7
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Thanks for all the advice

I'll try to post something up asap but the problem is (I should have mentioned this earlier) it's from the point of view of the victim being burnt...
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