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Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words.

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Old 10-26-2006, 05:31 PM   #1
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Ephial-Chavál

This is a short creation myth I created for one of my fantasy worlds a while back while under the strong influence of J.R.R. Tolkien having just read the Silmarillion. That's why it sounds so similar.

The Creation of Chavál
And
The Children of Baalthamar

In the Beginning, their was only The One, Baalthamar the All-Father. And he sat in the Void, and it was void. And Baalthamar was displeased with the emptiness of the Void for he perceived that it should not be thus, but should be full of light and splendor and goodness.

And in the Timeless depths of his Thought, he perceived and brought about the Thesis, whom the Elder and Younger Children of Baalthamar know as the Creator. And unto the Creator was given no absolute power, for as of yet Baalthamar knew not to what purpose he would put the Creator. And he sat for a long age pondering though to him it was a short time, even though Baalthamar does not heed Time for it affects him not for he is Eternal.

Then Baalthamar awoke from his thought, and he called the Creator before him and propounded forth a mighty theme unto him. And such was the greatness and majesty of it that the Creator was afraid and fell on his face. Then Baalthamar asked of the Creator, “Canst thou do this thing which I have told to thee?” And the sound of his voice was as of many waters rushing over rocks and the sound of thunder in the mountains. And the Creator was afraid and fell silent.

But after a while he said, “Yea, I would do this thing, yea, any thing that thou wouldst ask of me even to mine ruin. But how should I do this great thing which thou hast shown to me when I have no power of mine own?” And Baalthamar thought and once again in his mind, he perceived and brought forth also, thirteen lesser spirits called the Elementalí.

And each of the Elementalí knew only a small portion of the mind of Baalthamar so that each was different and they knew only what had been revealed to them and what would be their part in the Making. But from one, Baalthamar kept back a little, for this he was not yet ready to let it be made known unto his servants.

The Creator was master over each of the Elementalí for he was to be the chief designer of that theme which had been propounded forth to him by Baalthamar. And he was to use each of the Elementalí to their fullest, but with loving care, for each would be needed to keep together that part which they had helped to make in the Making so that all would not waver and fall away.

Now the thirteen Elementalí are: Aglios of Fire, Caraxa of Water, Dipaltha of Air, Janesjova of Earth, Palanë of Light, Devân of Darkness, Silumin of the Sun, Tiëra of the Moon, Zanada of the Stars, Tarinë of Plants, Belzahâr of the Beasts of the Earth, Yana of the Beasts of the Sky, and Halastahir of the Beasts of the Sea. And each of the Elementalí took a form, male or female, according to their thoughts and desires.

There are six male Elementalí and they are: Aglios, Caraxa, Janesjova, Halastahir, Belzahâr, and Devân. There are likewise seven female Elementalí and they are: Dipaltha, Palanë, Silumin, Tiëra, Zanada, Tarinë, and Yana.

But there was a part of the mind of Baalthamar that he did not give shape to for it was evil. It was like unto a shadow and while the rest of the mind of Baalthamar was fair to look upon, this part was hideous. And it constantly strove against him that it might obtain the mastery and be lord of its peers.

Then Baalthamar released the Creator and the Elementalí into the Void and the Making was begun. And for many a long age, the Creator and the Elementalí worked. And they never tired of their labors. Then, when at long last all was ready, the Elementalí descended into their work to hold together and keep watch over that which they had helped to make.

And Baalthamar perceived that all was good and he slept. Then that evil part of his mind slipped out from the bonds that he had placed around it and entered the Void and Chavál, which was that which the Creator and the Elementalí had made. And it learned a part of the work of each of the Elementalí. But it loved best the works of Belzahâr, Yana, and Halastahir, for these were concerned with making things that were alive and would do the will of whosoever had dominion over them. Then the evil thing began to do great mischief in Chavál and Baalthamar awoke.

For the Creator and the Elementalí cried out unto him in agony and great anguish. For all that they had worked so hard to create was being destroyed. And Baalthamar answered their cries and restrained that evil. Then the Creator and the Elementalí wove a great energy that flowed throughout Chavál using every part of the world to create it. And when they were done, it restricted the power of the evil. This power is known as Ga’vin. And is the weakest of the Three Powers.

But the evil retaliated and created its own power with its own dark thought. And this power was evil and greater than Ga’vin. And the evil’s power grew greater than it had been before. This power is known as Xian, it is the second greatest of the Three Powers.

Now the thing was very powerful and it was the AntiThesis of the Creator. It is called by the Elder Children, Azgabân, The Destroyer. But to the Younger Children is known as Erg’ack, The Dark One. And it was more powerful than the might of all the Elementalí combined and it threatened to destroy all that had been made in the Making.

But in the mind of Baalthamar it was not yet time for this. And he perceived that the AntiThesis would have a part in the Unmaking at the End. But since that time was not yet nigh, it could not be allowed to destroy what had been made.

So Baalthamar took part of Ga’vin and part of Xian, and wove them together to form the greatest of the Three Powers, Jare’anock. And thus the greater part of the AntiThesis’s strength was subdued for a while and it rested in Chavál biding its time.

Then Baalthamar propounded forth another great theme, though lesser in splendor and might, unto Belzahâr who is lord over the creatures of the earth. And Belzahâr heeded the theme of Baalthamar and created the Elder Children of Baalthamar, the Tolën. And once more Baalthamar propounded forth another great theme unto Belzahâr and so were the Younger Children of Baalthamar created, which are called Man.

And this is the last of the themes of Baalthamar until Chavál is complete and the days of the Unmaking are at hand. Then shall another theme be propounded forth to the Elementalí and the AntiThesis for the End will draw nigh. But none know what will happen at that time for Baalthamar has kept to himself that part of his mind, for none shall know it until the day of its happening.

And the Tolën were given life first and awoke next to the quiet waters of Lake Etherim, which is nigh unto the center of the Forest of Tarín. But Man was made to wait for a long age before he would be wakened from his slumber so that the Tolën might have the mastery for a little while.

Then Baalthamar watched, as that which his servants had made at his bidding, worked and began. For it was alive.

Thus was Chavál created and the AntiThesis and the Children of Baalthamar brought into being. And from that point forth, the history of Chavál began. It is a great history, full of great and terrible deeds by the small and great. And it is set down in the lore-books in Havána Chavál, which is The History of Chavál from the Making, to the passing of the Tolën and the waking of Man. But more is said of Man in the Tara Ifilthín, The Tale of Years as reckoned by Men for they know nothing of the great wars before their awakening. And also in the Hâvas Chavál, which are those great volumes that tell of the defeat of the AntiThesis and the beginning of the Golden Ages and are known as the Chavál Chronicles. Also are set down the records of the Golden Ages of Man in the Pelorus Trakav, which tells of the greatness of Man from the defeat of the AntiThesis to the End.

And finally are set down in the Angerthís Dafiron, which is called The End of Days and tells of the events of the End. None knew them at the birth of Chavál, even the Creator and the Elementalí and the AntiThesis, knew none of the plans of Baalthamar for the End.
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Old 11-09-2006, 04:54 PM   #2
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So this is a creation style myth based upon the Lord of the Rings myth and simply retold by you? I mean, I can like it, which I think I do, but I really keep wondering just how original this is... So... as someone who hasn't read the Simarillion but has heard about it, how new is your piece? And this really seems to read like the Bible, especially with your opening... then again Tolkien really based a lot of his stories on biblical trials so I could see the reasoning. So I like it, but whose is it?
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