wis3on3

i know its a bit early to think about santa and christmas, but i heard a cool song and couldnt resist. this was based on the song, but i changed bits...

The elves were in the workshop, making toys in preparation for Christmas. It was the twentieth day of December and they were all working hard to get done by the twenty fourth. They were behind schedule and had to work extra hours to finish on time.
The elves all stopped and stared when Santa burst out of his office with his sack and ammo covering his body. He was wearing red camo clothes and had an AK-47 in his hands. “S-Santa?” whimpered one of the smaller elves.
“Yes young one?” replied the normally jolly man. “What is it?”
“Why do you have ammo strapped to you? And ‘weapons’ written on your sack?”
“I have decided to start Christmas early.”
“Ok?” said another. “Merry Christmas Santa?”
“Merry Christmas elves. Merry Christmas to all! Now, YOU’RE ALL GONNA DIE!” Santa grabbed the elves and tied them together. He threw them out of the workshop. He hogtied the reindeer and threw them out and chuckled.
He took an Uzi machinegun and shot one of the elves in the head. Brains and blood sprayed on all of the others and they started spitting.
Santa then took a grenade and threw it into his workshop. “What’re you doing?” shouted one of the elves. “You can’t do this! What about the children?”
“Ah yes,” said Santa. “The children. There’s no reason to worry, they’ll die too.”
Santa lifted his Uzi and held it to the elf’s mouth. He pulled the trigger and more spray of brains hit the elves. “Oh dear,” laughed Santa. “I seem to have gotten blood over my shirt.”
Santa dropped his gun and took the AK-47 from his sack. He fired rapidly in the direction of the remaining elves and laughed hysterically. “Ho ho ho!” he shouted. “Merry Christmas. And what a merry Christmas this is proving to be!” When all of the elves were dead, he picked out a chainsaw from his sack of ‘toys’.
He walked over the Donner, Comet and Blitzen. He lifted the chainsaw and pulled the cord. He slowly cut off the head of Donner, legs of Comet and he cut Blitzen in half. The blood turned to ice and Santa walked away.
Snow fell gently as Santa picked up his Uzi again. He aimed it in the direction of Dancer, Prancer and Vixen. He fired in circles until his gun ran out of ammo and through it to the ground. Blood and flesh surrounded the remains of the three reindeer and Santa took his AK-47 back from his bag.
He walked over to Cupid and Dasher and kneeled beside them. “Merry Christmas reindeer. I’m sorry but I won’t need you any more. Goodbye.” He fired his machinegun at the defenceless animals and looked away so he wouldn’t get guts all over his face.
Santa looked at the last reindeer, his newest and most treasured one. “Well, it’s your turn to die freak.” He took a grenade out from his sack of weapons and shoved it in Rudolph’s mouth. He pulled the pin and walked away from the mess he’d made.

A while later, Santa burst into a bank in Chicago and fired armour bullets from his AK. “Give me your money you worthless ingrates,” he demanded. The girl at the counter fumbled around and handed over thousands of dollars. Santa put the money in his sack and fired around the bank.
When Santa got outside police men started firing at him. Santa pulled up his shirt to reveal body armour and reloaded his weapon with armour piercing bullets. “FIRE AT WILL!” roared the police sergeant. The police men fired at him with basic handguns while Santa fired with his machinegun.
Santa laughed as he fired randomly at anybody who got in his way. Pedestrians ran around like ants when a kid with a magnifying glass is chasing them. Santa dropped his AK-47 and took a bazooka from his sack. “If I’m gonna go down it might as well look good!” he whispered to himself. He aimed it at the largest collection of people and fired. Police men surrounded and handcuffed him.

Santa was taken to a high security prison and referred to the prison psychologist. “So Santa,” said the fat man in front of him. “Why did you do what you did?”

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jumbowumbo

let me guess... Weird al Yankovic-"The Night Sant Went Crazy"

Am i right or am i right?

http://www.com-www.com/weirdal/theni...wentcrazy.html

Fantasy of You

Dp

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It's only natural to want something profound in your sig.

Fantasy of You

Okay. As a story, there's little to it. It's just an empty little 'what if..' thing, that turned out okay. I mean, yea yea santa did all these horrible things. That's your story really.

Your writing, though, has improved a lot. A shit load, in fact. I had to check who'd wrote it before I replied. I'm impressed, man. Really, I am. You've dropped most of your bad habbits pretty fast, and you have cleaner prose because of. I'm glad for you, really I am.

-Fantasy

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It's only natural to want something profound in your sig.

wis3on3

thanks fantasy. i really appreciate it.

yeah

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