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| Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words. |
08-20-2006, 04:08 AM
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#16
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: BLDG. 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,567
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Thank you zoya!
Why do I have the feeling that I'm going to get second place in this as well?
__________________
"The great art of life is the sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain." -Lord Byron
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08-20-2006, 04:39 AM
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#17
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: May 2006
Location: New Delhi, India
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,359
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*crying*
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08-20-2006, 06:12 AM
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#18
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 2,139
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Nice unbiased voting there, zoya. Well done..
__________________
It's only natural to want something profound in your sig.
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08-20-2006, 06:15 AM
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#19
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: May 2006
Location: New Delhi, India
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,359
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????
i dont understand!!
if this has anything to do with the *crying* then it was because of the fact that heem wasnt getting my PMs...?
do you know which one is his?
heem you told fantasy, you didnt tell me?? i am confused!
Last edited by zoya_brar : 08-20-2006 at 06:19 AM.
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08-20-2006, 06:20 AM
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#20
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: BLDG. 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,567
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by FOY
Nice unbiased voting there, zoya. Well done..
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Well well well.. How about seeing your venerable votes Jade?
__________________
"The great art of life is the sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain." -Lord Byron
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08-20-2006, 07:11 AM
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#21
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 2,139
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Hmmz. I’m having a hard time deciding. None of them grabbed me enough to be a sure first, and none bored me enough to be a sure last. Because of that, I can only go on how things are said, instead of what (because every story was weak when it came to what happened imo).
A.
Although I found myself thinking wtf by the end, and I wondered what the point was of writing it, how you wrote was interesting and deeper than the other two pieces. It was almost philosophical in it’s approach, and I liked that. You managed to get depth into the teeny weeny 800 word cap. I would have liked the entire thing to be from the guy’s perspective, instead of switching to the narrative to show things he could of shown, but that’s just me. Yea, it’s the best of the 3 by a long way, but still not all that.
B.
This piece was probably the strongest plot wise. It dealt with a nice issue, and I knew where the piece was going ect. The execution of everything, however, let the piece down a lot. IMO, if you can’t write the emotion you’re dealing with, don’t. For what I should of felt, I felt nothing. The emotions were forced and plastic. I don’t know how many times the character told me ‘tears were in my eyes’. It made the emotion hollow, because you didn’t know how to create the emotion that was needed. But that’s just me. You wasted the potential the plot had. (I’m also not a fan of the ‘flash back’ thing. This isn’t a script.. there are so many ways of showing me it’s a memory instead of telling me point blank.)
C.
Okay. Again, I liked the idea, but there was something missing in the piece again. It was a tad melodramatic, too, and you didn’t really give an explanation for it. The characters were a little one dimensional, and the word cap isn’t really an excuse for it. I dunno, it just didn’t float my boat.
A
C
B
That’s my two cents. It’s early, so it’s probably nonsensical.
And Hakeem, why would you try an goad me in to voting. I was obviously going to vote, and I don’t know which is which, so it’s impossible for me to be bias.
-Fantasy
__________________
It's only natural to want something profound in your sig.
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08-20-2006, 07:20 AM
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#22
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: BLDG. 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,567
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by FOY
And Hakeem, why would you try an goad me in to voting. I was obviously going to vote, and I don’t know which is which, so it’s impossible for me to be bias.
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Oh nothing.. just was interested to see your votes..
Anyway thank you for voting Jade.
__________________
"The great art of life is the sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain." -Lord Byron
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08-20-2006, 12:45 PM
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#23
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: South FL
Gender: Male
Posts: 255
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Story A:1
Story B:1
Story C:0
Last edited by Atom : 08-20-2006 at 01:38 PM.
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08-20-2006, 12:52 PM
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#24
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: BLDG. 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,567
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Atom
Story A:1
Story B:1
Story C:1
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Story A: 1
Story B: 1
Story C: 0
Isn't it like this?
__________________
"The great art of life is the sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain." -Lord Byron
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08-20-2006, 01:26 PM
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#25
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: May 2006
Location: New Delhi, India
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,359
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interesting, very very interesting!
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08-20-2006, 01:39 PM
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#26
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: South FL
Gender: Male
Posts: 255
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Yup, thanks for correcting the mistake.
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08-22-2006, 10:37 PM
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#27
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Dover, PA
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,164
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I guess I kind of liked the way my story turned out...hopefully my next one will be better. lol.
__________________
“People always leave, but sometimes they come back.”
"Everybody can't be popular, because if they were -- nobody would be popular."
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10-20-2006, 10:17 AM
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#28
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Profound Writer
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Dover, PA
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,164
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hm....so who won? lol.
__________________
“People always leave, but sometimes they come back.”
"Everybody can't be popular, because if they were -- nobody would be popular."
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