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| Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words. |
06-24-2006, 04:26 AM
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#1
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Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 11
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Utterly Texas
Finding people who have disrespected the gay jingoist is not hard. The gay jingoist searches line dancing clubs, as all those who have disrespected the gay jingoist in the past have been found there. Unfortunately, the offender is not found and the gay jingoist searches for answers. “How is it possible, that, amongst my many enemies I have yet to discover one who is not into line dancing but now, in the time of the greatest offense, the villain is not located there?” the gay jingoist contemplates. It is at this moment of thought that the gay jingoist is approached by an innocent youth. The youth appears to be juvenile yet one can sense a mature aura about the innocent. “I can see that in your moment of thought you appear to be troubled” the innocent youth stated. The gay jingoist viewed the innocent youth with a slight scorn. “If I were to meddle in the affairs of your grammatical knowledge as if I were a rouse similar to the fake fire would you be gleeful or bitter at my disruption of the learning process?” said the gay jingoist, content with his dismissal. Saddened and disgusted, the innocent youth turned and walked away, looking as if the world had coagulated with hell. The gay jingoist had earned a victory, but was still reveling in the spit of a villain…….
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06-24-2006, 07:54 AM
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#2
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Fergus, Ontario CA
Posts: 2,669
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Super piece of flash. Hilarious! Especially condiering its context, by which I mean like, here. Love the twist of your phrase and mind NGW.
Too many ellipses at the end?
need comma after "fake fire" ?
Cap the Gay Jingoist and the Innocent Youth maybe?
Ah... wtf, great great satire. I think.
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06-24-2006, 11:23 AM
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#3
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Is that an existential question?
Posts: 1,863
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flash
This was a brilliant piece. Your mind must be an interesting place.
Remniscent of 'A Conspiracy of Dunces'--this was excellent!
__________________
Old enough to know better, young enough to think I can still get away with it.
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06-24-2006, 11:51 PM
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#4
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Writer
Join Date: Dec 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 35
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A very attractive, eloquently written, piece. The only thing I don't like about it, is that it leaves me wanting more.
I am hopeful that you will post more work.
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06-25-2006, 12:44 AM
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#5
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 367
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I liked this. I mean, it is really, really good. It reads really effortlessly. Great piece.
__________________
"I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies...."
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06-25-2006, 04:59 AM
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#6
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Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 11
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Thanks for all the compliments. I will try to continue Utterly Texas if I have the skill and motivation. Should I repost it here or in different threads?
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06-25-2006, 07:12 AM
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#7
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Addict
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: U.S.A
Gender: Male
Posts: 182
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Good piece. I suggest if you're going to continue it, then repost as a new thread, so that way readers won't be scrolling though pages of comments to find the latest version.
Hope you continue it.
__________________
"You have confused the true and the real." -George Stanley
I am worth $2,288,562 on HumanForSale.com
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06-25-2006, 08:28 AM
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#8
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Fergus, Ontario CA
Posts: 2,669
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You might also consider posting in the Workshop, just in case you ever want to try to sell first print rights.
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