Look mom no Bread! - Writers Forum

The Endings · 06-17-2006, 10:46 PM

Was suppossed to be for ultra short story challenge, but it ended up being too long:

“Look Mom! No Bread!”

John had just woken up, and boy was he hungry. Quickly, and somewhat carelessly, he rushed down the stairs. Because of his clumsiness, he missed a step and landed face down at the bottom. Still unphased, he darted into the Kitchen.

“I’m in the mood for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.” Said John

So he swung open the fridge door and made a grab for the peanut butter, and then, the jelly. John was not a very bright individual, seeing as he took the two food items and tossed them onto the counter.

“Now for the bread! The grainy goodness that completes the sandwich!” John Exclaimed

He reached into the bread box and withdrew a loaf of white bread. For quite some time, possibly even ten minutes, he stared at the loaf with an open mouth. Then, suddenly, he took the loaf and whipped it against the side of the counter and let it hit the floor.

“What the hell! Bread’s been holding me back for years!” John Yelled

He took the peanut butter jar in his hands and opened it. Once it was open he threw the cap into the sink and opened the jelly, once again, throwing the cap into the sink.

“I Know! I’ll use my hands!” Yelled John

He plunged his hands into the two jars and smeared them together, making sure they would mix well. Next, he brought his hands up near his face and rubbed them against his lips, shutting his eyes. It was like an orgasm of flavor dancing softly upon his tongue.

“Damn, that sure was tasty, I think I’ll go play Paratrooper again.” Said John

As I’ve previously mentioned, John isn’t by any means a bright child. When asked who the first president of the United States was, his only response was, Burrito. Quite pitiful, actually. The game he had just came up with, Paratrooper, would prove to be even more idiotic. First, he grabbed a garbage back from under the sink. Then, he darted back upstairs. He raised the bag up over his head as he stood at the top of the staircase.

“I’m going in!” Yelled John

He jumped up as high and as far out over the staircase as he could, still holding the large bag (Parachute) up over his empty head. Things went horribly wrong, for John ended up landing on his head, which was now inside of the bag. Because of his landing, he was now unable to move. John had suffered a broken neck on impact. Because of his inability to move, John was now unable to remove the bag from his head. Because he was not able to remove the bag from his head he was unable to breathe. Because he was unable to breathe he not able to sustain life. Because he was not able to sustain life, he died.