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The Truth About Noah's Ark (The stuff they didn't teach you about in Sunday school)
I was going to put this in non-fiction because it's more of a humorous essay, but since a moderator locked it I'm submitting it here. Any comments are appreciated.
The story of Noah's ark is told in the Book of Genesis. It says God saw how corrupt the Earth had become and decided to "bring floodwaters on the Earth to destroy all life under the heavens." Translation: God wanted to kill us all with a great flood and start humanity over.
God is said to have told Noah, an honorable man, to build an ark 450 feet long, 75 feet wide, and 45 feet high, and fill it with two of every species on the Earth.
This was a humongous feat for Noah. Building an ark that can hold a male and a female of every living thing on Earth.
The next question is - could Noah build such a boat?
Noah, who was a merchant with no knowledge of ship-building or engineering, was instructed to build the gigantic ark when there were only small canoes and primitive boats in his time. So, to build a vessel that could float on water as immense as he did, it would be in comparison to our present time of building a hotel on the sun.
But against all odds, scientific fact, and moral reason, the ark was built. Noah was 600 years old when it was ready to deploy. God’s instructions were that Noah was to load all the animals onto his vessel during a 7-day period. Scientists estimate that there are around 30 million species on Earth, so males and females combined, that’s 60 million animals that Noah had to load onto his ark in a week. This meant that Noah had to bring the animals onto the ark at a rate of 100 per second, nonstop, for 7 days.. Pretty cramped huh?
- Did I mention Noah was a quick man?
When the flood occurred, rainwater devoured up every land mass of the Earth, even covering the highest mountains. That means there was 4 times the amount of water as there is on present day Earth. This means that the atmosphere would be so full of water, Noah and the 60 million animals aboard his great vessel would literally drown breathing. So, I’m assuming that Noah must have provided millions of oxygen masks that Noah, his family, the animals, and himself must have used.
After the flood, the Earth was completely underwater. All the vegetation on land was dead, and every human except for Noah and his family had been destroyed by the flood.
It had rained for 40 days and 40 nights. After about seven months, the waters receded, and the ark came to rest, according to the Bible. The animals were released, and went off to repopulate. Noah’s children then had sex with each other and repopulated the Earth. Noah had fulfilled God’s wishes. The world was now free of evil, and everyone lived happily ever after..
P.S. Noah brought termites on his wooden boat.
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