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Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words.

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Old 06-07-2006, 02:42 PM   #1
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(no title as of yet)

this is a story I began to write... I didnt really know where I was going with it... but the story line just popped into my head... Let me know what you think of it, and If I should make it into a longer story.



It was a chilly day in October. She looked out the seccond story window into her yard. The old hazelnut tree in her front yard swayed in the wind as a few dead leeaves wafted to the ground. The grass looked like a collage of leaves of all different colours... the colours of fall. All of the leaves covering the groundin a breath taking pattern. The lake was beautiful as always as the afternoon sun shone over it, catching light making it all so enchanting. Leaves shuffled over the ground and into the lake with annother light wind sweeping across the yard. It reminded her of someones mother, sweeping dirt into a dust pan. The grass was still brown from the summer, and some plants still hung brown and useless from the blazzing heat that had passed. The old tire swing swayed. She remembered when she was young, and she would go out and swing in it, and watch the sunset... watching all of the colours fade across the lake.She remembered those days most vividly out of all of her memories. They reminded her of things she wished she could foget... the summers after that had changed her. It was in the days of her past that she carished, and held on to. She got up, and went to the window facing the front yard. It was to be drak soon, and olf memories that would not etur had no bussiness in her mind. Right now she had him. He was tall and handsome. He was an original, and he knew just how to keep her safe. She hoped he could also keep her from herself. She looked onto the street through the tall tree that leaned carefully aginst her window. He was there. He was waiting for her. They were going to run away together. Some thing made her stop herself. She was only sixteen... she had so much to wait for... to live for. She had to stop. Through her open winddow, she heard him call her in a wisper. "Jade! It's me! David! It's all clear."
"I dont know about this David."
" Come on. Dont you want to get away from them. They dont know you. They dont even want you here. Your dad beats you, and your mother is drunk and gone half the time... come on... you can do it... leave it behind you, and start a new life with me Jade. I need you..."
She knew he was right. She couldnt stay here, but she couldnt leave either. There was something about those memoris... even the bad ones made her want to stay... to keep things, and hope for the innocence she clung to... she wanted to get away. She needed this. But she couldnt do it.
"David... I love you and I am glad that you are here for me... but I cant leave."
"Yes you can. Dont you want to get away from this? Dont you want to leave all the bad memories behind you?"
"I do. But not like this."
With that she closed the window, unpacked her things, and went to sleep.
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Old 06-07-2006, 03:04 PM   #2
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I got about half way through, but it has typos and I couldn't finish with out getting annoyed -_- I suggest you read over your work before posting, because you'll catch a lot that way. You have a lot of typos...

Quote:
The lake was beautiful as always [take this out] as the afternoon sun shone over
Quote:
it, catching light making it all so enchanting.

Quote:
watching all of the colours fade across the lake
This'll seem really picky, but 'colours' is the british spelling. Your from Kentuky, thus America. Spell it 'colors,' just for my sake. Thats how its taught here and I know its so tempting to use that U because British people are so cool but I'm just being picky.

As far as I got, there didn't seem to be much of a plot. Just long description of how things looked, how she felt, and what she was thinking about. Try to get to the plot quicker.

Alice
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