Ben Greenhalgh

Anyone who reviews this will be my hero as i don't know if i should carry on writing the "episodes" or try a different idea.

Many thanks



Customer service: Strawberry episode

Like many young people in todays society I have a part time job. Again like most people my age it involves dealing with customers.

Now don't get me wrong I love the place it's great fun. However customers do tend to flock there like dry fish to water eager to get their morning cup of hot-chocolate.

Unfortunately on sunny days and especially on holidays they bring their screaming children.
So there I am Saturday night praying to God to make it rain so I don’t have to serve another screaming child or create another wacky way of making a stronger or weaker cup of tea to suit each individual palette.

In case you were wondering I serve people tea coffee and other overpriced items outside in a country park. I live in England so as usual it's cold and always rains.

My first day I thought would be a doddle. All I had to do was serve people cups of tea and coffee -- well what a shock that turned out to be.
Do you know there are over 25 different types of tea? Oh yes, I do not lie about something so serious , I had 12 elderly women come in, each wanting their tea made in a certain, detailed, expertly fashioned way.

"I want it weaker", "less sugar", "no tea", "no milk", "I have sensitive teeth not too hot", "I have no teeth". I mean, hell, I was in mass hysteria the next time an elderly woman entered my area. I leapt behind the counter hoping to Jesus himself that my colleague would take the bullet for me.

oooooohhh and that’s not the only thing. Last year we bought an ice-cream machine. Oh yes what fun that was.

Let me paint you a picture. 200 screaming kids on a school trip all wanting flavours I don’t have! It was around 4 o'clock now and I was beginning to get tired...yes I know no stamina you’re thinking.
Anyway I said to the lady in charge of the little brats, in a quite and pleasant tone.” I’m afraid to say we have run out of strawberry flavour. However we do have many other flavours that I’m sure they will love".

So what did she say?

"Kiiiids do you all want strawberry"

I was reaching for the knife under the counter. Unfortunately all I had was a blunt cake slice not the weapon I had in mind. So I resorted to my next anger letting technique.

I shot into the kitchen behind me and screamed until I had ripped out my voice box and made myself deaf.

The next customer in my portrait of fun was a young lad around 10. By this time I had placed a huge sign on the strawberry sign which clearly said in great big red letters "SOLD OUT".
So the little chap skipped along and started looking at the ice-cream chart.

"I’ll have a vanilla please....no no...emmmm, I'llllllll have chocolate. no no ..emmmmm...strawberry! Yea strawberry"

While about to use the cake slice, I wondered what it would be like if humans grew brains.


However this next customer made my day! The last customer of the day, just before closing time. Anyone who works in customer service, you will know what I mean, the sod that comes in when you’re trying to cash up or go home. The person who you’re sure just turns up to annoy the pants off you. He came swanning in at 6.30 to find me trembling with fury on the opposite side of the counter.

"What ice-cream have you got?"

As he undid his wallet as if he was buying some sort of million pound sports car I read him out the list.

“We’ve got vanilla, chocolate, mint chocolate chip and yoghurt forest fruit"

As he looked up he said the four words I dreaded.

"I’ll have strawberry please"

If I had a gun I would have shot him, but not in the head, I wanted him to feel the pain I would have shot him in this leg, arm, hand, foot, groin and then to finish off I would have hit him over the head with my cake slice.

Soul Ink

Lol.

Keep going; this is pretty funny.

Ben Greenhalgh

Glad you like it. i'll have the next episode tomorrow....there is always something to say after a day doing my job

BeautifulDisaster

I like it! I can definitely relate to the customer service experience. Which reminds me.. why am I starting my new job at a retail 'hell' store??

Itsaboysname

Hey Ben!
Nice story, writen all bitter and stuff. I like it.
Did this crazy really happen to you? Because if it did that's ridiculous, and you have my sympathy. It almost seems too ridiculous and unbelievable though.
But yeah, I like your style. Definately continue, this could turn into something pretty awesome.

aliceedelweiss

Howdy,

Quote:

However customers do tend to flock there like dry fish to water[comma] eager to get their morning cup of hot-chocolate.

Quote:

I was reaching for the knife under the counter. Unfortunately all I had was a blunt cake slice[colon] not the weapon I had in mind.

Very cute! Though it was a story-you'd-tell-to-your-friend, it had a really good voice and style, very fun to read and I would love to see more! I'd have to say though, you were light on commas and sometimes your dialoge wouldn't be punctuated properly. I really look forward to more

Alice

__________________

writenow30

I can relate to alot of what you are saying as I have worked in customer service for longer than I care to admit. Much of it is funny and definitely rang true. My question to you would be, though, who is your intended audience outside of the people on the forums? It reads more like a humorous blog entry detailing the misadventures of someone working in the doldrums of customer service, not a short story. Which isn't, to be sure, to mean I don't like it. Just that I wonder what your plan is with this particular piece.
Jason

Ben Greenhalgh

Yes this did actually happen to me: I am going to work today and i'll write another one as something like this always happens.

Its audience is more the people who can relate to what i'm saying eg. those working in customer service.

it's more like a blog.

thanks for all your comments!