Fatal Kiss - Writers Forum

Daniel Malone · 06-03-2006, 08:26 PM

Fatal Kiss

by Aaron Rayburn

You can read the story by clicking on this link.http://towerweb.net/mt/authors/aaron...fatal_kiss.pdf

If you give any feedback on this story than I will return the favor. Just send me your story thread and I will critique it.

mhsmarchingbari · 06-04-2006, 11:39 AM

Oh my,that was great. It was so bold and descriptive and I felt like I really knew the characters, like I was one of them. Great job.

Sparx · 06-04-2006, 02:21 PM

Not bad at all. It was very dark and the ending was unexpected if not a little strange but i liked the idea of this old man who loved his wife(Judith) so much and tried to be with her only to realise who she really was. You made a mistake though where you repeated the same thing twice, read through the text and you'll see what i mean. Also, another small problem with your prose is your large use of adverbs. I have this problem sometimes but using too many adverbs distract the reader. Apart from that, pretty good writing.

Daniel Malone · 06-04-2006, 06:39 PM

Thanks for the comments and glad you took the time to read.

HelenSpringer · 06-05-2006, 09:22 AM

that was really good! the end was totally unexpected! great job!

aliceedelweiss · 06-05-2006, 11:53 AM

I really want to read it but my computer does not have adobe reader, or what ever the program is used to read PDFs, and being on a dial up connection, i don't really feel like downloading it...is there any other way I could open the PDF file?

Daniel Malone · 06-06-2006, 04:59 AM

The story was published by midnight times. If you go to the website in my signature you can click on the link and read it online.

Or click on this link and thanks.
http://www.aaronscryptofgorgothica.com/

All who commented send me or post a link here and I will critique yours. Thanks.

Daniel Malone · 06-09-2006, 03:35 PM

Click on the title below if you don't have Acrobatic Reader or PDF capabilities.

Thanks for reading!

FATAL KISS