Italianmadonna

The house was sticky hot when we finally got home. The sun, still high in the sky, and bricks turned our house into a low intensity oven. It was better than Death Valley where we had just come from but it was still uncomfortable. I remember wondering how there could be so much heat in this world. Everywhere we went was hot. Yosemite National Park had been icy compared to our house. It was probably because of the heat that we didn’t realize the couch was gone.
It had been a very ugly couch that had come with us from our other house. I don’t know why mum and dad bought it. The coat was brown and yellow shag with black lines breaking up the color into big spots. It looked like a retarded turtle. Ever since we brought the other couch I had never gone near the old orange one if I could avoid it. It smelled of musk and sweat and the cushions were too soft. I was really glad the couch was gone. Mum, on the other hand, was concerned.
We looked around the house to see if there were other missing things. The television for the guest room was gone. So was some food. A couple pairs of sheets were missing and so were most of my dad’s clothes. However, nothing else was gone. The big TV in the living room was untouched and so were mum’s rocks and jewels. It was all very curious.
I found mum in the dining room looking over some papers. This wasn’t unusual since most of our important papers were kept in there.
I stared up at her for a while, watching her face. It was completely emotionless. She looked like the big white Buddha I had seen in a shop by Yosemite. The shop had been dark and smelt of burnt hair. Everywhere you looked giant pairs of eyes stared back at you from selves high above your head. The Buddha had cost $600. It was a very big Buddha.
“You’re father is gone,” she said. I already knew that since I had just searched the whole house. I didn’t see what that had to do with the couch missing. I asked her.
“He took the couch and the TV from the guest room. He moved into an apartment on Route 24.” I tried to think was this could mean. It didn’t seem like such a bad thing. Mum didn’t look too upset. She didn’t look too anything, really. She was my giant white Buddha.
Mum and Dad fought a lot. I didn’t really think much of it at the time. I just thought that’s what Mum and Dad’s do. Dad was always upset that Mum wouldn’t let him eat meat in the house. She was raising us kids vegetarian and wanted for Dad to set a good example. Mum would get mad when Dad would leave the front door unlocked. She would scream about that for hours. My older siblings tell me the fights got worse and time went on but I didn’t notice. They were always there, yelling and hollering about whatever little thing they could think of. I suppose I should have been unhappier than I was, but I really didn’t mind at the time.
In years to come I would cover my ears and shut my eyes tight anytime someone started to scream. They didn’t even have to be screaming at me. As soon as the yelling started my hands shot up to my head and I tucked my chin into my chest. Every once in a while I would rock back and forth, humming under my breath to block out the sound.
I got tired trying to understand what Mum was talking about. If Dad was gone that was hardly my problem. I ran upstairs to play with my Barbie’s. I accidentally knocked Ken’s head off when we were playing “Tissue-Parachute Skydiving”.

aliceedelweiss

Hi

I don't think coat is the right word...maybe fabric?

I think you could make these two sentences into one, it would sound better.

what

Again, I think these two would sound better as one setence.

Well, thats all I found. minor errors. I like the plot, though its a little scattered. Some things just don't sem to fit, and the sentences are very...well they seem like runs of thought. Although, I do like it. I can relate with it, having devorced parents.
I can relate to that, although, yelling only scares me, I have never covered my ears during it. I'm too used to it for that, it just scares me.

Nice job
Alice

__________________