This is my first post here so I thought I'd start it off with a bang. This is a short story I wrote a while ago and has been aging on my computer for months. I've gotten a lot of good reviews from my friends but they're not really writers so I'd thought some of the people on this forum could tell me what you think.
The Real Odd Couple
By Joshua Ostrander
Gregory Smalls was just like every other successful, white-collared man. He was the head of his own company, paid his taxes, and was a registered voter of The United States of America. He lived in a rather large house on Long Island and had many friends.
There was one thing however that made him not like every man; he had an unusually small penis. This was especially unusual because his father Biggie Smalls (no relation to the infamous rapper) had won the World’s Biggest Penis Award five years straight and Biggie was ashamed to find out that Gregory’s penis was not even one twentieth the size of his father’s. Biggie would later abandon his son and Gregory would be raised by nuns.
The nuns taught him that having a small penis was nothing to be ashamed of but when showing it to them they just laughed in his face. This was especially humiliating because being laughed at by a regular woman because of your penis size is one thing, but to be laughed at by nuns because of your penis size is a disgrace. Gregory’s penis size however did let him stay with the nuns because he was legally considered a eunuch but Gregory thought there was a time and a place for everything and he found that it was time for him to leave the monastery.
Gregory entered the real world with a boom. He started his own company that specialized in customizing hats for men with oblong-shaped heads. Apparently lots of men had oblong-shaped heads and Gregory automatically became a success. He had appeared on the cover of Men with a Shitload of Money Magazine a multitude of times and had certainly made himself known in the hat business. Plus, no one knowing that he had an exceptionally small penis made it even better.
But as Gregory grew, so did his sexual urges. He masturbated at least eight times a day which is especially hard when you have to use tweezers to do it. This however did not satisfy Gregory; he had to meet a real woman. Yet every time he grew interest in a girl he was instantly reminded of his first date with a girl where her head exploded right after witnessing Gregory’s penis. Gregory was determined however to meet a girl and one day he finally got the courage to ask a girl, in which he would later learn is named Shirley Humongous, out to dinner.
On the night of the date, Gregory was sweating in anticipation. After all this was his first date in ten years. Everything went perfect during the date, the food was excellent, the wine was superb, and the waiter was especially snooty. It went so well that Shirley invited Gregory into her apartment. Gregory was so nervous that he totally forgot about his puny penis which he would learn the hard way in bed. But Gregory also noticed something about her that would match his dilemma. Shirley had an extraordinarily large vagina and it showed. With them both in shock they both realized that they were perfect for each other. They both had unusually sized sexual organs in which they had been harassed for all there lives and this is how they were both similar and different.
Gregory proposed to Shirley on their fifth date and they were married in June. They lived happily ever after with two children thanks to the help of modern science.
The moral of this story is it doesn’t matter how small your penis is or if your vagina is bigger than the rest of the girls in your gym class, the only thing that matters is how much money you make.

your vagina is bigger than the rest of the girls in your gym class,

Originally Posted by JoshuaOst Well I did write this out of boredom and only in an hour so that might be why there are a few grammatical errors plus this is a pretty old story and I've learned quite a few things since then. Thanks anyways for all the comments.

"poetry or the streets."