A story called "Creation" - chew it up everyone!! - Writers Forum

D2B · 04-20-2006, 02:50 PM

Creation

"There's a whole and infinite universe, right inside my own mind!"

(A Creator- someone just like you!)

At reality's whispery fringes - where our very thoughts, ideas and dreams coagulate and harden - where what we dare to imagine manifests!

I wonder...

Well, it’s just really hard to explain, that's all. And I may as well warn you now, for some, it might be a little weird... (You have no idea what it’s like being me). But in the end - I promise! You'll see yet one more way of looking at life! One more way to challenge what you believe about yourself and about God; and one more reason to wonder about it all.

I promise.

Gwendolyn lay prone, peacefully, in the large leather recliner in her living room. The television nearby, excreted noisily, some twaddle about a new, and of course, indispensable food preparation gizmo - one of those infomercials. But she no longer noticed. Yes, a soothing, cozy silence... One welling from deep inside and permeating outward.

Shhh... Warm, dark, hair, surrounding a tranquil cherub face. A contented sigh -she instinctively pulled a small quilted blanket up to her chin. And then her breathing - soft, even, peaceful... Gwendolyn fell fast asleep.

"Sleep... Yes sleep peacefully my dearest Gwendolyn. I have something important for you to see. For I am sending you to a truly magical place. If 'place' is the right word... "

Ahh, behold Gwendolyn's wondrous dream.

"Perhaps light is the intelligence behind matter. And matter, the contemplation of light...

Do you ever tire of the wonder of it all?"

Thwweeeek -Pop!

And just like that her body was gone! At least the physical part - the meat, the skin, the bones... And what remained was... Light! Brilliant, beautiful, all encompassing! A light that transcended all darkness! A light born of infinity! Gwendolyn held her right hand in front of her and stared with fascinating glee! Sure it was a hand, and sure it seemed capable of grasping and holding - but it was made of light! Pure white light!

"This is so cool!" Her childlike delight...

And she looked out... A sky of the bluest of blue; a blue as never she had seen; and undulating, golden fields, meadow flowers and lush green grasses; frolicking deer and antelope, hopping rabbits and singing meadowlarks... And the colors, brilliant! Indescribable! Yes, life everywhere, teaming, abounding, rejoicing! Bathed in light, and giving forth an impossible brilliance of its own!

"It must be Fairyland! Oh, how beautiful - just as I always imagined it must be!" She mouthed the words in silent awe.

Then appearing from nowhere.... "Yes, it is my dear, exactly as you imagined." I responded somewhat dryly, and with slight, and perhaps smug amusement.

A startled look from Gwendolyn... Her gaze quickly turning to me... "Who are you and what does all this mean!"

"I am your creator Gwendolyn... And you, my beloved creation, are part of an in severable, indestructible whole which is me. You exist in my mind as thought, as idea, as light. And together with all that I contemplate, you complete me, you quicken my heart and soul; you give my life reason to exist! For I cannot exist without you, just as you cannot without me. Yes, you are my most intimate and cherished idea of who and what I am. And once conjured, you must exist forever more!

Her eyes wide like saucers... This was something profoundly, incredulously new! Surely, not your typical unsettling dream about monsters under the bed, or about eating bean less chili and green Jell-O out of a shoe box, while sitting in the back seat of a long-departed friend's Buick LeSabre.

No, this dream was far different.

"And Gwendolyn, my love being so great, I have created you with a capacity, yes, even a burning desire, to create unto yourself, such worlds as you will; to find your own meaning, to define your own existence - indeed, to even define me. My dear Gwendolyn, I have given you a creative power equal to my own. And everything you know and everything you will become; everything you shall create... It is all there now before you! Everything! In infinite abundance! Oh, my dearest Gwendolyn, just as my creator has wrought for me, and perhaps as even my creator's creator has done, and my creator's - creator's - creator; until at last, infinity is somehow filled to overflowing..."

A silent nod of her head; but I knew meaning would come slowly, in fleeting glimpses and in epiphanies yet to come. Just as it had for me.

"To love what we create is to love ourselves. Indeed, such is where love must begin."

(A creator once waxed philosophically)

Behold Gwendolyn ...

Twin moons rising in the west, bathed in glorious hues of reddish yellow. And barely discernable through a hydro-carbon sky, the sun; a purplish and blue orb; its setting conjured deep and wildly intricate rainbows of every conceivable color in the rugged, crystalline valley below.

Dreenkare Su watched for a moment; the stupendous wonder of such an awe-inspiring sunset, familiar, yet as always, it gave her pause. And then, extending a rubbery yellow tentacle, she quickly scooped another mouthful of burgret-fru. Bright, fleshy, orange tubers, but the slightest hint of greens and pinks – perfectly ripened; their pungent and exquisite scent permeated her proboscis. And the taste! It exploded divinely in her mouth!

Yes, burgret-fru was her favorite.

“Weeeeeeeeeeeett– Tot!”

The sound of her singular delight, carried gracefully aloft in the icy-cold chlorine air.

And Gwendolyn, her eyes closed... "Yes, my beloved Dreenkare Su." Just as I was created, so I too give life unto you! And in the fullness of time, perhaps we shall meet. And I will tell you of my love for you; and I will free your heart to create, to become, to love... Just as my creator once did onto me."

Another tentacle of burgret-fru. The taste, exquisite... Soon my beloved, soon.

"Endless, infinite...

Creation frolics ever onward and outward!"

In the beginning...

A magical place; a place where thought abides! Beyond this somewhere, beyond this somehow, beyond everything we know of life, of matter, of birth and death... This place! This wondrous 'here'! Nowhere and everywhere!

Yes, in the beginning... An endless light of celebration and joy! The herewith all that creates with unmatched love!

And lo. What perfection has been wrought!

For in such a place God has created you; and in such a place, you have made him whole!

copyright 2006
all rightsw reserved.
T. G. Desrosier

Chris Miller · 04-20-2006, 03:19 PM

You have a strong, consistent voice. And you have obviously taken a great deal of care with the prose. I like the notion of the symbiotic (okay, bad word... maybe "mutually dependant") nature of the relationship between the creator and the created. (Personally, I view creator and creation as one and the same.) The metaphysical musings are interesting, but also a little heavy-handed for my taste, and are not quite enough to carry a "story" that has little conflict or character development. But that is only my taste, and I do recognize and appreciate all the work and thought that went into it. Perhaps if I read it as an essay... or a poem... I'm sure many are bound to like it. If Wyndstar happens to stop by, I think she'll like it.

"Ahh, behold Gwendolyn wondrous dream."
Did you mean "Gwendolyn's" ? I guess not. That's just what I want to see.

D2B · 04-20-2006, 03:34 PM

Thanks for the look. You're right about the typo.

I'm curious about the character development. Typically my stories never really develop a character much beyond what's necessary to get my metaphysical point across. Is this a mistake? Should I make the character got throught the usual intro, crisis, and resolution?

Hmmm

Any additional insight would be appreciated.

bheid1.01 · 04-21-2006, 06:02 AM

it's nice to read something pleasant where nobody gets killed for a change (not a critism of the writers here, just my reading choice)

it's thought provoking and has a nice pace to it, nicely done
because of the nature of your pieces, i'd advise agaisn't character development, in my opinion they'd get in the way

(i've gone onto your website, and it appears we believe in the exact oposite things and morality... strange)

D2B · 04-24-2006, 08:37 AM

Hey thanks for the look, bheid1.