The Rapture - Writers Forum

Wyndstar · 03-07-2006, 02:15 PM

I know, I know--I already posted one short and a poem, but I popped this one off (a really really short) after hearing about the art programs being cut, and some other things that annoyed me...

The Rapture

She stepped out of the mirror.

Goddamn it! She stepped out of the mirror, smiled and said; “Welcome to the club.”

There wasn’t any need to look behind the mirror, hoping to find tricks and devices. The house was a familiar place: there were no traps.

“No—“ She admonished, “The question isn’t about tricks. The question is, do you want to stay here, or do you want to go on?”

The writer was annoyed. Not because of the trick.

There were notebooks strewn everywhere, stories written, verse and metaphor well on the way to completion, perfection. And the writer had been in the middle of writing about a better place, while the world outside the window went to hell.

On a roll, the writer had been caught up in the complete ‘from the bottom’ creation of a story that worked, which was running and carrying the writer away with it.

The ‘Interruption’ was like being doused with cold water in the middle of an orgasm!

“Yes, I felt that way when I created this world – I wasn’t interrupted of course – and when you all took on a life of your own.” The woman from the glass sighed “Now, so many have become creators themselves, writing realities greater than this one—until it comes that so many of you must decide. Do you want to go on to the realities you have created, or stay here with THIS one?”

“Then--?” the writer gaped in surprise and disbelief “You’re saying—you’re—God?”

“I’m a creator.” She corrected carefully “I made this world. My creations in it came to life. Some have grown beyond it, became creators. Others,” She went on, a little less enthusiastic, “Just keep creating within this reality, many following them. A lot of energy in that.” She added sadly “It’s getting to destructive proportions. So!” God declared, “I’m giving all the seeds of my creations, the creators, their freedom.”

She stepped back, gestured to the mirror.

The writer stared for a moment, though strangely, still caught in the lingering tendrils of creative bliss, the writer was not so inclined to doubt.

Suddenly, an explosion rocked the building!

“Don’t worry,” she revealed, having thoroughly read the writer’s mind “The children from that building are already gone.”

“Children? Gone already?” repeated the writer numbly.

“Of course.” she went on as if it were the most obvious truth “Children are master creators, whether bringing to life a world they’ve read about, or one they made up themselves.”

And in the writer’s mind, there were images of ‘God’ appearing to many others; musicians, artists, some scientists and holy people. Some of these people that ‘God’ manifested for were of great note, and many were not.

They all had one thing in common.

At the time ‘God’ had come for them, they were in a moment of absolute, sublime, empowering creativity…

“…Why do you think I called it The Rapture?” She mentioned sardonically.

A landscape familiar to the writer shimmered in the mirror.

The writer moved towards it…

johnnywraith · 03-07-2006, 05:23 PM

I found this story intriguing. Good work!

My takeaway from this story is that an artist is given a very heavy burden. She must destroy the world to recreate it on her canvass. Or, to be reborn into a sublime world where the paint flows, she must first die and leave the mundane one.

My only criticism is that your comment kept me from reading your story without preconception. I think the comment is appropriate, and I always enjoy being told the motivation for writing a story, but I'd like to have read your comment at the end.

Thanks for the good reading.

Chris Miller · 03-08-2006, 09:45 AM

I found this interesting too. I love female deities. I like the theme that “God” rewards creativity, that this is why “She” created us.

I have 3 suggestions:
1. Use quote tags as per rules of punctuation.
2. Uppercase “Writer” and maybe one or two other significant nouns.
3. Lose every adverb.

In fact, I like this story so much that I am going to do it. Just for fun.

She stepped out of the Mirror.

Goddamn it! She stepped out of the Mirror, smiled and said, “Welcome to the club.”

There wasn’t any need to look behind the Mirror, hoping to find tricks and devices. The house was a familiar place: there were no traps.

“No—“ she admonished. “The question isn’t about tricks. The question is, do you want to stay here, or do you want to go on?”

The Writer was annoyed. Not because of the trick.

There were notebooks strewn everywhere, stories written, verse and metaphor well on the way to completion, perfection. And the Writer had been in the middle of writing about a better place, while the world outside the window went to hell.

On a roll, the Writer had been caught up in the complete ‘from the bottom’ creation of a story that worked, which was running and carrying the Writer away with it.

The ‘Interruption’ was like being doused with cold water in the middle of an orgasm!

“Yes, I felt that way when I created this world – I wasn’t interrupted of course – and when you all took on a life of your own.” The Woman from the glass sighed. “Now, so many have become creators themselves, writing realities greater than this one—until it comes that so many of you must decide. Do you want to go on to the realities you have created, or stay here with THIS one?”

“Then--?” the Writer gaped in surprise and disbelief. “You’re saying—you’re—God?”

“I’m a creator.” She corrected. “I made this world. My creations in it came to life. Some have grown beyond it, became creators. Others,” She continued, frowning, “Just keep creating within this reality, many following them. A lot of energy in that,” she added. “It’s getting to destructive proportions. So!” God declared, “I’m giving all the seeds of my creations, the creators, their freedom.”

She stepped back, gestured to the mirror.

The Writer stared for a moment, though still caught in the lingering tendrils of creative bliss, the Writer was not so inclined to doubt.

An explosion rocked the building!

“Don’t worry,” she revealed, having read the Writer’s mind. “The children from that building are already gone.”

“Children? Gone already?” repeated the Writer.

“Of course,” she went on as if it were the most obvious truth. “Children are master creators, whether bringing to life a world they’ve read about, or one they made up themselves.”

And in the Writer’s mind, there were images of ‘God’ appearing to many others: musicians, artists, some scientists and holy people. Some of these people that ‘God’ manifested for were of great note, and many were not.

They all had one thing in common.

At the time ‘God’ had come for them, they were in a moment of absolute, sublime, empowering creativity…

“…Why do you think I called it The Rapture?” she asked.

A landscape familiar to the Writer shimmered in the mirror.

The Writer moved towards it…

gohn67 · 03-08-2006, 05:51 PM

Interesting piece about art and writing and imagination, Wyndstar. Made me think about writing and the bible and god. Also about alternate reality and reality and that kind of stuff. Something I've been thinking about as of late so this piece really interested me.

eggo · 03-09-2006, 12:30 AM

Hey Wyndy,

My type of story. A writer lost in writing a story and here comes God along with an interuption. As if the phone and the kids weren't bad enough, lol.

Seriously, a fun piece that questions reality and those who make it.

Quote:

The ‘Interruption’ was like being doused with cold water in the middle of an orgasm!

A great image....

Thanks for the read.

Wyndstar · 03-09-2006, 09:20 AM

johnny, thanks for not only your mention of commenting before the story (I oughta know better, but I was really irritated), but I loved your interpretation. I write most of my stories so each person can see something unique to themselve in it. Thank you for that.

Chris...
First off, I wrestled with the idea of making 'God' caps because I thought it might offend people. Particularly with the writer, who could have become 'God' in their own right. I am still wishy washy about that.
And I DAMN well know that if they knew who I was, and where this page was, that there are MORE than a dozen senior military members, ranging from Master Sergeants to majors and full birds LAUGHING their butts off! Cause essentially, I have done the same thing to their 'works' as you did to mine. So I'm gonna be as gracious as they were and say 'thank you'.

gohn, what are you waiting for then? Gimmee something good to read. I'm out of my writing cycle, so I can read other people's stuff.

I got a lot of images like that, eggo. I got one about hershey syrup being cold out of the can if you'd like. And yes, I always thought, even as a kid, reality should be questioned. Which was why my parents thought it wise to question my sanity--still.

glennstewart · 03-09-2006, 09:31 AM

Wyndstar, Thank you for the post of your short piece. I'm new to the forum, so forgive me if I step on protocols...I admire your ability to write a short story, "The Rapture" was fun, and compelled me to read to the end,which is after all, most of the battle for a writier

If my life depended upon it, I could not write a short piece of any quality, keep going, keep working, Glenn

Chris Miller · 03-09-2006, 09:28 PM

Hey Wyndstar,

I think you were right not to try to cap god. God is big enough. I was just thinking Writer and maybe Mirror, etc.

I didn't mean to piss you off with the very minor mods, or inflict some sort of writer's karma on you or be the shit coming around in WGACA. I just wanted to see how it would read... Not much different really.

Jimbob · 03-09-2006, 11:36 PM

Hmmm. This story inspires some interesting ideas.

What if God is a novelist and the book is already written? The characters would go through it thinking the thoughts given them to think, doing the things assigned them to do, and moving toward an inevitable conclusion, all the while believing (as they must ) that they have free will.

Jimbob

A Glass Thought · 03-10-2006, 01:46 AM

Tis is a very good piece with lots of good ideas. I've always liked the idea of the female god.I also like the use of The Rapture. Coincidentally I also started a story concerning the rapture this morning, so Imagine my curiosity when I saw this title. I'm happy to report that our stories are quite different. Good job.

gohn67 · 03-10-2006, 01:59 AM

Quote:

gohn, what are you waiting for then? Gimmee something good to read. I'm out of my writing cycle, so I can read other people's stuff.

Lately, I've been bogged down in revisions and basically doing more thinking about writing than actually writing anything worthwhile. But I just started working on a new piece and if I can find sometime inspiration to write, I'll be able to get it done soon.

kalibantre · 03-11-2006, 11:10 AM

I really liked that, other hav made all the comment I could have so thanks for posting it

character1_Caitlin · 03-11-2006, 09:18 PM

I really liked it Wyndstar and I see when you get a word you like. I think you used this in the other story you recently posted.

Quote:

tendrils

I loved the orgasm line. My posting is just to bump this work of yours back to the recent posts page for more to enjoy.
Magma would not fit in this one