Seranata Notturno (434 wds.) - Writers Forum

Titania · 02-20-2006, 09:34 PM

[removed by the author]

gohn67 · 02-20-2006, 11:32 PM

Hey Titania,

You have an expansive vocabulary and you show it off in this piece that's for sure.

I'm not sure what the italian words in italics mean. I think they have to do with the tempo of music or something, although I'm not sure. I have seen adante in music books and my metronome.

A lot of adjectives in this piece.

Flowed well.

Had a hard time figuring out what was going on.

Doesn't seem like there's a plot.

Seems like the main character is in beautiful place. Kind of dream like.

Titania · 02-20-2006, 11:56 PM

Thanks for commenting!

Preludio is basically "prelude", andante means "walking tempo", a caesura is a mark indicated by two vertical lines that signifies a break, niente means fading away to nothing, and a fermata is a symbol that means you hold out the note for however long you want (it's a little arch with a dot under it).

Yeah... there isn't really a plot, I guess... I don't know, but it was something that just flowed out of me. I'm a violist and I tend to equate things to music, so... I sat down at my computer one evening and out this came.

Again, I appreciate the comment & the compliment about my vocabulary

.

bobwriter · 02-21-2006, 01:50 AM

Oh my goodness, perfect sonata form in prose. Every bit as rich and rewarding to a lover of great music (as I suppose we both must be) as one of great prose.

I bow to your lyric spirit, enraptured by the story, entranced by the diminuendo as I leave it.

Titania · 02-21-2006, 02:04 AM

*glows with happiness* Thank you so much bobwriter! I've always wished I could capture the spirit of a piece of music with my words, and if I have come anywhere close to combining the two with this piece then I am delighted beyond description.

BeL · 02-21-2006, 07:43 AM

Hello

A very interesting and pleasant read.

A comment :

Having an extensive vocabulary is very good, knowing how to use it is even better. The whole piece has a very "light" feeling to it, but I think that the heavy vocabulary takes it away a bit. Then again, I'm not a native speaker, so that might be just me.

Thanks for the read!

Miltiadis.

Titania · 02-21-2006, 07:40 PM

Thank you BeL and Maria for responding, I'm glad you enjoyed. BeL, hope the heavy vocab didn't take away too much, it wasn't really intended; and Maria, I agree with you that it feels almost like a poem.

Thanks again!

Dephere · 02-21-2006, 08:26 PM

Hey, I didn't know you had posted this or I would have been over here much earlier...well, yesterday. lol.

I knew from when I read your first piece in the fiction section that you were a talented writer, this is the icing on the cake.

I love a rounded vocabulary, and here it is executed perfectly! Very poetic and has a ravishing continuity that made it a pleasure to read. I don't think the words take anything away from this piece, if anything they add to it.

I liked it, nice short piece of prose. Great job!!!!

Titania · 02-21-2006, 08:31 PM

Thanks Dephere

.

Lol, your comment about it being "executed perfectly" reminds me of a quote I heard once about music: Good musicians execute their music, but bad ones murder it...

Or something like that. Thanks again for reading, glad you liked it.

BeYoNd WoRdS · 02-22-2006, 06:14 PM

Titania,

Beautiful, beautiful piece. You captured me up in your words and took me into a wonderful dream.
Thanks for sharing it.

-BeYoNd WoRdS

bobwriter · 02-23-2006, 12:22 AM

Titania, I am drawn back to this piece again and again. Never apologize for 'big' words. It is the reader's responsibility to look them up and add to their vocabulary, not yours to 'dumb it down'.

How many unnecessary notes in a Mozart symphony? How about the Beethoven Violin Cto. What do you cut from a Chopin nocturne? Do we really need the gloria patri in the Verde Requiem?

I wouldn't apologize for a single comma in this piece. It may just be that a musical spirit is the one that hears the moonsong of your piece. I heard it and were it possible I would kiss your hand tenderly and say "thank you for giving the gift of such a rewarding moment to my life."

Titania · 02-23-2006, 12:45 AM

beyond words, thank you for reading and I'm glad you enjoyed.

bobwriter, I am truly honored by your kind words. If it were possible for you to see me at this moment I assure you I would be blushing profoundly. Thank you so much, I am thrilled that you enjoy the reading of this piece as much as I enjoyed writing it. Incidentally, the title (which should, I have recently discovered, more properly be Serenata Notturna) is from a piece by Mozart for two small orchestras. Thank you again, I cannot say it enough. I am sincerely touched.

Oasis Writer · 02-27-2006, 03:53 PM

What enchantment you have created in this piece of tranquil harmonic connection of words. Very good work! Soft words that amazingly felt like a story I have heard before. A bedtime story that a mother would tell a tireless child, soon drifting that child into a serene slumber. Stellar work! Best I’ve read from you.

Titania · 02-27-2006, 04:10 PM

Thanks so much Oasis, I'm glad to hear you liked it. It's incredibly reassuring to hear how many people enjoyed this piece. Thank you all.

cellardoor · 02-27-2006, 07:44 PM

i agrees with all them peoples that knows them big wordses

haha. yeah. it's like a cut-glass windchime a mile long, shooting out rainbows and breathy tinklings

that's what i got anyways