As much as I hate following links, I did.
And was rewarded with my pop-up blocker going off like a ticker tape machine. In the future I would post here in sections as most people won't follow links.
I am not going to lie to you and say that I read the whole thing, I didn't. At 6700 words it was quite a chunk. (A word count might be nice as well)
Sorry don't mean to be an ass.
Anyways on to your story. It seemed to be a educational pamphlet for Pflag. I never really got to care about the main character. He was one-dimensional person and I found it hard to spot his humanity.
I kept thinking about an educational film where someone says," This is Bob. Bob doesn't like sex with women. Bob thinks he may be a homosexual. It's OK Bob"
I would re-work this story and give much more depth to this character. He could be a very compelling person, but you are using the fact he is gay to define him as an indiviual. His awaking to this fact is the motivator of this story, when I don't think it shouldn't be.
It should be about him.
Generally well written, the dialog was a little strained in area's.
Quote:
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stress at work lately” my mother leans
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In using dialog put a comma when the dialog ends and the sentence continues.
stress at work lately
,” my mother leans
Thanks for the read
