Fault (yet another dwarf) - Writers Forum

mjk · 01-13-2006, 01:18 AM

Fault
Destined for nowhere, these funny words you use. I guess I knew you wouldn’t come around again; I set it up that way. You see, the thing is, I try not to use words like “always” and “never.” Yet you kept asking for them. I am so weak about you. So I screwed up, again and again, using forbidden words I couldn’t make true, but I said them anyway. I warned you, I know I did, but you believed me anyway. I guess you’ll blame me and I’ll blame you and we won’t have to believe what we don’t want to.

*inspired by and written for the recently broken hearted. they won't be the last person you love.

MariusBonaparte · 01-13-2006, 03:04 AM

Oh man, I can relate. As one with a broken heart, all I can say is thank you man.

mjk · 01-13-2006, 03:09 AM

you are entirely welcome marius. thank you for reading it.

MariusBonaparte · 01-13-2006, 03:13 AM

hehehe, I said man

mjk · 01-13-2006, 03:15 AM

shhhhhhh......

MariusBonaparte · 01-13-2006, 03:28 AM

shhhh what? I was just giggling because I sounded like a stoned surfer.
hehehe

eleda · 01-13-2006, 03:30 AM

This reads poetically. I love the way you juxtaposed "the forbidden words" as the cause but in reality it's in the emotional/mental state of the person. Well done.

mjk · 01-13-2006, 03:34 AM

eleda- thank you for coming to read. thank you even more for liking it and telling me why.

i love these dwarves, as it presents an opportunity to take a snapshot of life and leaves room for a lot of thought. also, they are fantastic for writer's block. i have kalibantre to thank for introducing me. hugs, kitty kitty.

MariusBonaparte · 01-13-2006, 03:41 AM

They are a lot of fun, I must admit and I think I may have found a solution for my poetry woes.

Sigg · 01-13-2006, 06:39 AM

Unfortunately I can relate to you're piece, but well done nonetheless.

cellardoor · 01-13-2006, 02:02 PM

wish i had work ethic, i'd love to write a bunch of dwarfs. haha.
yours are really well done

character1_Caitlin · 01-14-2006, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mjk

eleda- thank you for coming to read. thank you even more for liking it and telling me why.

I love these dwarves, as it presents an opportunity to take a snapshot of life and leaves room for a lot of thought. also, they are fantastic for writer's block. i have kalibantre to thank for introducing me. hugs, kitty kitty.

I missed this , it was posted during hours that I was actually working at work. You and Kali are both talented at these.

mjk · 01-14-2006, 08:21 PM

caitlin- i would love to see you attempt one of these, but hopefully not because you're suffering from a blockage, but rather just to experiement and play. let me know, if you do and i miss it. thank you for your kind words.

character1_Caitlin · 01-14-2006, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mjk

caitlin- i would love to see you attempt one of these, but hopefully not because you're suffering from a blockage, but rather just to experiement and play. let me know, if you do and i miss it. thank you for your kind words.

I will try one, its an excellent exercise to get the creative juices going. Thats what I am doing here just getting my brain going. No blockage.

Am I correct in thinking that at about 50 words you are at the peak and then decending to conclusion? 101 words to tell a story with a beginning a middle and end.

mjk · 01-14-2006, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by character1_Caitlin

I will try one, its an excellent exercise to get the creative juices going. Thats what I am doing here just getting my brain going. No blockage.

Am I correct in thinking that at about 50 words you are at the peak and then decending to conclusion? 101 words to tell a story with a beginning a middle and end.

you know, i never looked at it that way. see if it works for you. play, imagine, create, explore!

what i do, is think of an image or a situation that one would think could never be explained in 101 words and attempt to do just that. i'm a masochist.

i like to think my climaxes just happen, in only one or two lines, instead of descending downward into a conclusion. i'm a tricky one, i like to provoke by leaving so much up to the reader to imagine. some who have read my work call it a "cheap shot" however, i find it incredibly liberating for both reader and writer.

i will warn you that the editing process is terribly painful.

hehe, have fun!!!!