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| Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words. |
01-03-2006, 03:53 PM
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#1
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Adept Writer
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: San Antonio, Tx
Gender: Male
Posts: 784
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The religion of Cows
You goin' to church after we finish milkin' this mornin"? Earl asked.
"Sure am, Rufus. "You?"
"You bet. Soon's I can wash off the cowshit an' change clothes.
"Hey Rufus, What religion you reckon these there Holsteins are?"
"I dunno. Cowtholics, I guess. What you think?"
"Ha! that's a good un. hmm - I s'pose maybe they're Mooish."
The dairymen had a good laugh, unhooked the last two cows from the milker, and left.
As they went out the gate, cow #17 said to #23 "I guess I'm a Calfinist.
I just wish I had one I could keep for a while."
"Religion is about beliefs, not wishes. Surely you don't believe they'll ever let you do that. I'm a haytheist, myself."
"What do you mean?" asked #17
"Well, for one thing, eating is the only pleasure we have left to us. We can't lie down in a nice clean pasture. We have to stand around in our own shit all the time. As you pointed out, we can't keep our own calves - they
take them away as soon as they're born, and besides that we don't even get to fuck the bulls. We get artificial imsemination.
Sister, Hay is the only good thing. Eat and enjoy while you can.
Jimbob
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01-03-2006, 04:08 PM
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#2
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Fergus, Ontario CA
Posts: 2,676
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Ha! That's hilarious. They could also be Pentecowstals.
There is an underlying serious message pertaining to our cruelty to animals here too if I'm not mistaken.
Very nice job.
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01-03-2006, 04:13 PM
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#3
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Adept Writer
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Scotland
Gender: Male
Posts: 914
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They could be MOOslims.
It's funny to see the cows were actually having a more intelligent discussion than the farmers.
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01-03-2006, 07:45 PM
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#4
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,827
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Haha, great!
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01-03-2006, 08:01 PM
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#5
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Is that an existential question?
Posts: 1,863
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story
Jimbob; channel to cows everywhere.
This was so clever. I'm in awe. Well, compliments are the best I can do. The other guys already took all the religious cow-isms.
__________________
Old enough to know better, young enough to think I can still get away with it.
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01-03-2006, 08:04 PM
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#6
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Addict
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Riverside, California
Gender: Male
Posts: 128
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not quite wyndstar, they could be hayndus. nice job jimbob. you certainly threw me for a loop.
Last edited by CopyMaster : 01-04-2006 at 04:36 PM.
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01-03-2006, 08:56 PM
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#7
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Timmins, Ontario, Canada
Gender: Male
Posts: 365
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Uhh, Jimbob, I'm seeing a pattern here about animals and fish, hmm what's next the religion of flies? The flies would be able to spot fake preachers easier than most because they flock to crap first.
But the cows could have been Mormoons,while the dogs could be Marfxists.
__________________
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01-03-2006, 11:41 PM
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#8
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Adept Writer
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: San Antonio, Tx
Gender: Male
Posts: 784
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Chris and Semtecks
Pentacowstalls and Mooslims - Wow! Those are great.
ghon,
Thanks for stopping by. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Wyndstar,
I'll send it out on the Holstein Moosletter.
Thanks for you encouraging comments.
CopyMaster,
I didn't catch "hayndus" right away, but when I did, I couldn't stop laughing.
Mack,
Mormoons? I guess there's more religious diversity among cows than I ever suspected! Thanks for your comments.
Jimbob
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