The best Thanksgiving Lesson - Writers Forum

girlchez11 · 01-03-2006, 12:50 PM

Hi guys..just getting home from my day at the vfw annual free thanksgiving dinner. This morning I awoke at 6 am hoping for one last shot at getting home to see my dad for thanksgiving, only to be disappointed to find it was already snowing. But while I watched the weather,I caught the add for this vwf dinner and the phone number.So I called the lady figuring, what the hell, If I go work this thing, I can be reminded of how lucky I am, and not sit here killing myself with pity.
So, I arrive at the vfw,11am, I sit in my car with hesitation outside the building, unsure of what was to happen inside. I have never been there and had no idea what I was in for. After a few moments..I figured screw it, who knows is right? I can do this. I get out of my car, the same time the car next to me has arrived, and this older lady is getting out of hers, which was good, that way I had someone to walk in with. Ends up shes alone, been volunteering at this for 9 years, as it gives her something to do on thanksgiving.AND, they give us free food! Turkey!
I walk into this grand room, beautifully decorated..the kind of place I am sure they rent out for banquets etc.14 large round tables were set with white table clothes, and poinsettas.
So I follow her outback, meet the 2 ladies that have put this on for the last 10 years, and am pleased to find they are simply hanging out smoking butts waiting for the crowd. It was like sitting with a pile of grandmothers, only they drank and smoked cigs, and best of all, talked about themselves. As I didnt want to answer any questions on why I was there, out of the blue,and lucky for me, they never asked. Wisdom I suppose,I find older women know what questions are best unasked.
Time comes to set up the rest of the dining room and get started. Ends up the 2 girls I was in the dining room with, had no idea what they were doing. The daughter and granddaughter of one of the women putting the thing on had never helped, or set something up this large. I, on the other hand, do this for a living,so it was cool, as my expertise came in quite handy.
Up until this point, I had infrequent tears, swells in my eyes,thinking about my dad, my family, all the years Id spent with people that arent even alive now. But I decided to keep moving on, no point in thinking about that. I had things to do.
Next, the turkey picking. 25 turkeys, hot fresh out of the oven, ready for us to pick apart. This was cool.But I have to say the best part of turkey picking was this lady "edie". She was across from me, picking her turkey, and her husband stood to the side watching us. At one point, Edies husband sais to her, "now if you get tired I want you to sit down". I watched him as he said this, the total concern for his wifes welfare painted on his face. These 2 have most likey been married at least 50 years, and I dont know, something about his care for how she felt.
The bus arrives. Now here we have everything from homeless people, shut ins, poor families, firefighters, the elderly, veterans, you name it..Now in the past years, the lady informed me, people just went up to the bar to get there coffee and sodas..and this year she wanted them to be able to sit and relax, feel special, and get waited on. Well it just so happens, I informed her, I can dance that dining room like nothing you have ever seen, just leave that part to me. I have waited on every kind of people out there, and I have to say, to see these people, some dirty, some clean, some homeless, others just alone..poor families. They were so thankful. I treated them as I do anyone I wait on. Went to there table over and over. The look in these peoples eyes. They are the unfortunate. They are the underdogs, the nobodies, the teenagers that have nothing, and go to school as outcasts. These are the people you and I can pray everynight to never become. But they were so sweet, so full of gratitude at the simplest actions. Here I was doing what I do everyday. Second nature really. But for once, I was getting something way more valuable than someones idea of what Im worth as their servant. I was getting the sincere thanks for what appeared to these folks as going out of my way for the "likes" of them. The veteran boys begged to tip me, calling me "sweety", commenting on what a great waitress I would make. The same actions I do everyday to survive in this world, were the ones making these people feel special for a day.
At the end there was even a black man at one of the tables that said to me in broken english, "ma'am, why are you so kind? why are you doing all of this for me?" The seconds after he said that I looked at him and thought to myself, why am I doing all of this? And thats when I realized. I do this because its what my dad does. I learned to be kind from the man, the subject, that brought me to this exact spot on this day. As for his answer well, luckily he followed up with a marriage proposal. So I didnt have to give him an answer. I want to add the best bonus of the days work was all the hot succulent firemen that came in. Well okay, they werent all "hot and succulent". But I dont know, the word "fireman", well, it just makes me all warm inside. Anyways, I finished the day never stopping. I continued to work right through. Skipping the breaks, as I found that for the first time in years, well basically since the last time I did this type of thing, which, at one point in my life was my idea of purpose and what my reason for living was, I felt whole. I felt good. I felt a familiar joy inside. One I hadnt even noticed I was missing.
The moral of this story guys, well, I woke up today miserable. Wondering what the hell Id done to deserve such a crappy deal. Missing out on a meal with my family, all to end up finding a new family. I will return every year from here on out. The odd thing is, my father is ill, and when hes gone, I have no one left really. And I always wondered what I would do when that happened. What it would be like to be alone on Thanksgiving day. I dont even have to ask God why this went the way it did, as I see now, he was only providing me with something no invite to anyones house out of pity could ever give me. And for that folks..Im thankful.

gohn67 · 01-03-2006, 07:42 PM

Hi girlchez11,
This read like a journal entry of something of that really happened to you. I think that was a cool thing to do for them.

I didn't understand the use of two periods.

Thanks for sharing this. Nice to read about something other than bestiality and Orcs.

girlchez11 · 01-03-2006, 08:29 PM

Ya....I haven't quite figured out why I abuse periods that way...and once again..this is an entry from thanksgiving. A blog from my myspace page, which unfortunately, is "undergoing maintanence". All stories are true, if you would like, I will get you the link as soon as the page is back up. If you enjoy reading, you will enjoy the page.

Thanks again. I love input.

kalrarii · 01-04-2006, 10:17 AM

Yeah, that two period thing was sort of annoying. Like you're trailing off after every sentence and are very insecure about people reading your writing. :\ But you do have a nice voice in this. ^_^

girlchez11 · 01-04-2006, 04:50 PM

Yeah...its like, I am addicted to period trailing!

Sigg · 01-05-2006, 04:35 AM

Not to sound like a dick, but if you space it out and take all the excess periods out, I'll read it.

girlchez11 · 01-05-2006, 05:13 AM

Consider it done Sigg. All anyone had to do was ask..;p

Mackb · 01-05-2006, 07:52 PM

I gave up about a third of the way in for several reasons.

The periods didn't bug me as much as the refusal to break the grey mass of words into paragraphs. It's easy to lose track when it's just one long paragraph.

"I watched the weather,I caught the add for this vwf dinner..."

Dots are for etc., trail off, or to signify there is more to this quote.

, (space after a comma) I caught...

What the heck is vwf???
It's bad form to introduce an abbreviation without telling the reader what it is. Lazy writing is what it is. Don't assume we know what it is.
Worse that was in the first sentance.

And add should be ad.

That's just the one sentance that I looked at.
If you're going to write, take time to edit too, don't just push words on paper or computer and throw it at us. Treat the readers with respect.

Another problem I have with this is that this isn't fiction, it's a blog and as such isn't a short story. It's just boring detail. Now if you took the effort to turn the event into a story, based on a mundane gathering and juice it up a bit, then it's a story.

Else, don't waste our time.

Sorry to be harsh, but this site is for learning how to grow as a writer, no a place to barf out the details of our life effortlessly.

girlchez11 · 01-05-2006, 08:23 PM

After having time to absorb your tangent, atleast what part I skimmed over. I think I have said somewhere, long tales bug me. They are a turn off even.
I'd like to not only thank you for the spellcheck, as you were a much better option than looking it up, and twice as humorous, but I would like to return the favor.
(you are going to die when you see this one guy

)

"That's just the one sentance that I looked at"

Needeth I goeth here?

Okay, the point I am trying to make is this.......<--thats right..oh! I missed the '
I hope you really did read that story, for after receiving this letter I am certain it was written for you.

Good day Sir and many thanks

Sigg · 01-06-2006, 01:24 AM

Nah, people are just being harsh on you because you are posting journal entries in a section that is supposed to have stories. It's nothing personal, but it's like bringing wine to a beer tasting event, while the wine might be tasty to some it just isn't in the right place. No one is trying to intentionally scare you off, I don't think...

girlchez11 · 01-06-2006, 01:41 AM

Hahahaa.
"No one is trying to intentionally scare you off, I don't think..."

I hereby announce these to be the "famous last words of Sigg"

Beer or wine, once you've drunk it... well, you've drunk it.
(Sigg, somewhere on here I said you were my friend..;p)

Thanks buddy

girlchez11 · 01-06-2006, 02:00 AM

After having time to absorb your tangent, atleast what part I skimmed over. I think I have said somewhere, long tales bug me. They are a turn off even.
I'd like to not only thank you for the spellcheck, as you were a much better option than looking it up, and twice as humorous, but I would like to return the favor.
(you are going to die when you see this one guy

)

"That's just the one sentance that I looked at"

Needeth I goeth here?

Okay, the point I am trying to make is this.......<--thats right..oh! I missed the '
I hope you really did read that story, for after receiving this letter I am certain it was written for you.

Good day Sir and many thanks

Mackb · 01-06-2006, 08:27 AM

Sigg is exactly right.

not only was I not discouraging you not o leave, I was giving you some helps to make your "story" a story.

Sorry that you're offended.

Journal entries are for blogs.

kalrarii · 01-06-2006, 09:18 AM

Just to let you know, I'm not trying to scare you off. So try not to take this too personally, and please stop thinking that the entire forum should come and be your beloved audience.

I'd just like to say a few things about your writing, okay? It's pretty cool, it's a nice voice, and then....

It's a BLOG ENTERY. If you're going to submit them, try to at least stick them in the non-fiction section, because that's what they are - non-fiction. Unless you're making it all up that this is your life, but I don't think you are.

As said before, you have an interesting voice in writing. But can you apply this to any stories/articles that AREN'T about you? Because otherwise you'll never be great. A great writer can write about anything and everything they set their mind to, and even more than that. The ones that ever get somewhere usually have a lot of help, and pushing away critiques aren't getting you anywhere. Why don't you just except the fact that what we're telling you is the truth and that we're not jealous or insecure or anything like that? You're the one that must be insecure if you're being so awful to everyone about this. You're the one that's pushing us away.

And another thing. If you never let anyone try to critque your work, and if you never really edit it, you'll never be published. Well, sure, you can self-publish, but after flipping through the book at a store I don't think too many people would want to buy it.

If you do edit and try to publish something, you have to get through to the editors. They'll be doing what you don't seem to appreciate - they'll be proof-reading and editting and whatnot on your work. And you'll have to go and give reasonable reasons for WHY your work is the way it is. Not just because the first drafts are better, but something else. If all the other published writers out there can manage to edit their work, I think you can too. And you do have the potential! Just try your best at a fiction piece and show it to us! Let us give you some tips, but think: You don't have to like the C&C we give you. Most writers don't. But they still learn from it.

And a lot of writer's agree that in order to be able to write fiction, and that's what you seemingly want to do, there are four basic things you need. They are: imagination (we haven't seen any yet), empathy (not too much of this either), style (definitely seen this), and patience. I have no idea if you have any, because I haven't seen you in a proper situation.

Quote:

Originally Posted by girlchez11

"That's just the one sentance that I looked at"

Needeth I goeth here?

And that has to be one of the most childish stabs in the back I have read in a looong time.

--

But yeah. You probably didn't even read that. I wouldn't be surprised. But I guess it's true - one day, you might be great. But you have to accept a little help on the way. Otherwise, say hello to a life that'll end with you all alone.

And usually one of the best ways to get help is to give it. I suppose I'll be getting some insults from you. I wouldn't expect less. In my opinion, you're acting like a little kid trying to protect a broken teddy bear when all we want to do is try to help you fix it up.

But in the end the only nice thing I can say is that you're brave for standing up for yourself and so go you! And that you write nice blog enteries.

girlchez11 · 01-06-2006, 10:48 AM

I do apologize. If you had even split that up into about 5 posts, I would have read each and everyone.
I did catch the beloved audience part, and that my dear, is already in my brain. So its not what I expect here.
And, if someone treats you like a child, why not then stab like one?

My nana always said, "get the name, play the game"
I thank you for your time and input.