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| Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words. |
01-02-2006, 09:12 PM
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#1
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Adept Writer
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Ohio.. blehhhh
Gender: Male
Posts: 905
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The Three Types of Intercourse (flash-292)
“There’s three types of intercourse. There’s 'fucking’, there’s 'having sex', and there’s 'making love'.”
These were the times I lived for, when my friends and I sat in the bookstore and talked about nothing and everything.
“How’s that?”
I broke it down. “Well, you fuck some ho you picked up at a game or when you’re drunk or something. You have sex with someone you like and know, like a girlfriend you’ve had for a month or something. Then you make love with someone you love. Like a girlfriend that you know really intimately, and love, and stuff. If you bang her before you love her, then it’s having sex. If it’s with a legitimate girlfriend, then it’s always at least ‘having sex’.”
“Where does ‘bang’ go?”
“Yeah, and where does ‘screw’ or ‘bonk’ go?”
I pondered. “Those are all, like, they don’t have classifications. They just mean ‘intercourse’. They don’t have emotional things with them, you know?”
“Ahh… but why does ‘fuck’ have an emotional thing? We say it just like bang or screw.”
“Well, say ‘bang’.”
“Bang.”
“Now say ‘fuck’.”
“Fuck.”
“See? Bang is like, neutral. Fuck is raunchy and raw and stuff. Just, sex. Sex with no love or affection behind it. Fuck is lusty.”
“Ah. Well, then I want to fuck your sister.”
“Fuck you.”
“Fuck HER!” One of my friends pointed over at the door.
My girlfriend had just walked in, seen us, and started walking over. I looked back at my friends. “Didn’t we just fucking go over this? With a girlfriend, it’s ‘having sex’ at least.”
They laughed. “When is it ‘making love’?”
I grinned. “Yesterday.”
“OHHHHHHHH YEEAAAAH BOYYYY!!!” High fives were exchanged.
My girlfriend arrived. “What are you guys talking about?”
We just laughed.
__________________
If I make it as a writer, I'll write for the hobo, not the professor.
Last edited by cellardoor : 01-02-2006 at 09:14 PM.
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01-02-2006, 09:42 PM
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#2
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Fergus, Ontario CA
Posts: 2,676
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A little cliche and shallow, but still funny, and well written. Nice job.
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01-02-2006, 09:51 PM
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#3
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Mentor
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: cape cod, USA
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,845
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Hey Cellardoor,
Funny Flash. You seemed to latch onto a conversation that goes on in a bar everyday somewhere in the country. One bit of crit, I would let it go on a bit further.
If she was like any woman i've ever known, she wouldn't let that go. Then we would learn the difference between a spat, an argument and a fight.
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01-02-2006, 11:01 PM
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#4
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Adept Writer
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Ohio.. blehhhh
Gender: Male
Posts: 905
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haha, thanks guys. just a piece i needed to get out of my system.
i was sort of going for something like the opening scene of reservoir dogs. i love that scene.
__________________
If I make it as a writer, I'll write for the hobo, not the professor.
Last edited by cellardoor : 01-02-2006 at 11:18 PM.
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01-03-2006, 07:06 AM
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#5
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Prolific Writer
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 459
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Yeah I agree it's definately a conversation that 90% of guys have had while drunk/stoned at least once in their life. Well written dialogue though, good job.
__________________
Drivin' in my Cadillac Rock Box
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01-03-2006, 11:45 AM
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#6
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Is that an existential question?
Posts: 1,863
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story
Hey, its shallow, inane, and goof ball, but its most definetly an authentically written guy thing--I'll certainly give it that.
__________________
Old enough to know better, young enough to think I can still get away with it.
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01-03-2006, 04:10 PM
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#7
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Adept Writer
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Scotland
Gender: Male
Posts: 914
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haha, nice dialogue. I've seen this conversation played out many times in real life.
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01-03-2006, 05:12 PM
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#8
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Addict
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Portland, OR
Gender: Female
Posts: 146
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Ha, I can see this scene perfectly. As said, a little cliche, but nice writing and you made the dialog flow nicely. 
__________________
"Er... no? Unless cold water is hiding some odd stimulant that I'm not aware of."
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01-03-2006, 05:25 PM
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#9
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Adept Writer
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Ohio.. blehhhh
Gender: Male
Posts: 905
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i showed this to my friend today. the conversation we had is actually worth another story. hahaha.
__________________
If I make it as a writer, I'll write for the hobo, not the professor.
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01-03-2006, 06:01 PM
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#10
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Ink Slinger
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,829
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I love that opening scene in Resoivoir dogs. I really like Tarantino's dialogue in general.
As for this piece I enjoyed it for what it was. Would be cool to put it in context of something bigger though.
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01-03-2006, 09:12 PM
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#11
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Writing Machine
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: South Carolina
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,948
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 I like this piece. It's sweet, but funny and authentic. Great job.
__________________
My aim is to put down on paper what I see and what I feel in the best and simplest way. --Ernest Hemingway
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01-05-2006, 11:21 PM
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#12
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Adept Writer
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: lost in the sonoran desert
Gender: Private
Posts: 795
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this was quite funny. but i don't like the ending. "Oh yeah boy"? really?
__________________
"Words have no power to impress the mind with the exquisite horror of their reality." -Edgar Allan Poe
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Creative Scribblings - a collection of odds and ends
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