Betrayed in My Best Interest - Writers Forum

Spaztikfingers · 12-14-2005, 04:48 AM

Some swearing.
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Don't worry, I can already tell. You don't need to hide anything although I know you will try your best. You all come here looking the same, trying not to judge but it doesn't last. Once you realize just what you're dealing with, you crack and the facade is over. Forget it, I can see through you. I know you know me.

Professional. Yes, that's what they'll call you when they see you. "He was very professional. Didn't mock the man once. Oh, others would, I did... it was fun!" But you, you won't even grimace at what your hands must touch. The duty calls and I must serve approach. Yes, sir, you really are a trooper.
Well, you know what? I don't give a shit. I'm putting that dollar in your pocket so yeah, you better be friggin professional to me. Oh, you don't like my attitude. Well, what the hell are you here for then? You know what you were getting yourself into when you signed up. Don't get all soggy on me now, Teabag.

I can see this really isn't going your way. Your little jokes fizzle to the side like wet firecrackers. I'd like to make fun of you but it's no fun ripping on a guy who's crippled and dude, believe me, it's not me who's the crippled one. Oh, sure, I bet those are interesting stories for your wife but trust me, I don't love you and I sure as shit don't love the crap you're tryin to unload on me. Yeah, okay, whatever, ask your friggin questions. Just hurry the hell up and stop the pain. That is what you do right?

I don't understand. Do I look comfortable? Do you think you think I'm alright? Can't we just forget the formalities and give me something? I'm the one who needs something! This is your job! No, that right, let's ask me another mindless question!

Okay, look, I don't mean to get all rude with you but look at me. Do you know what I have? Do you really know anything about me? Oh, I know you know some details; the gravy that everyone likes to pass around. But there is more. Do you know I'd like to push you right out that window? Yeah, that would be great. I could push you out and then hold onto you long enough for you to understand that yes, I'm going to drop you and the carcasses of your little haha's onto the speeding pavement. No, don't worry if you don't completely go to the other side, I'm sure someone will have some good drugs for you. They have to have them somewhere... cuz they sure as hell aren't here!!! Why can't you fuckin help me!!!!
...I'm dying.

gohn67 · 12-14-2005, 04:06 PM

Hey SpaztikFingers,
Interesting piece. The voice was blunt, angry, enjoyable to read, has a speechlike quality to it. The writing flows well and has interesting content.

I'm not really sure who is talking to or who he is and the situation that he is in. I guess he is dying but I don't know why. I'm not really sure what is going on as he changes the subject a few times I think.

At one point I even thought he was talking to a prostitiute.

Spaztikfingers · 12-14-2005, 07:27 PM

Gohn67,
thanks for the comments and I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm working as a paramedic and needless to say, the job inspired the piece. I wanted it to be as vague as possible just to generate mulitple possible scenarios... which seems to have worked. Thanks! I had a call where I was limited in what I could do for a patient and I could see the frustrations I was causing him. It pissed me off as well. Putting the frustration down felt like a good way of relief.

thanks again
Spaz