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The only critique I have, is to give more detail about why the light is bothering him.
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I have got another version on my Laptop (no floppy drive to copy on this pc to copy it over) where I mention that the house is isolated on the edge of a cliff, which would make it pretty strange for a light to be outside, though in the other one I also mentioned that it was a lantern light that was hanging around the front of his house, I don't know why I didnt put that in, I guess its because I was trying to hint that maybe the light wasnt even there in the first place so I just cut it out. Besides if your like me then long stories tend to scare off readers.
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It's a 28 year old man who is possibly mentally insane (or retarded, even though I don't like using that word unless I'm referring to myself) and it's his diary, so this isn't coming from CroZ' point of view. The PoV is the insane person writing the diary, who, having the mind of a child, may not be up on grammar and spelling. So you really have to forgive those errors, because they really aren't errors at all.
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You'd be right
But also he did stay awake for six days which isnt good for anyone.
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Story was not bad for a quickie. I kind of laughed to read that first the dad was planning to finish his book, and then that he had just written the first chapter.
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Well it was really just a figure of speech, just that he was going to move out to this place to finish it not actually finish it off soon.
Thanks for the the other crits and comments
But right now i'm really trying to finish off a synopsis of another story to fix them, those things are just annoying, something tells me that publishers and agents don't have the greatest attention spans.
