doctor

I liked this a lot R.J.T. Concise and to the point. It also reminded me of a piece I once posted here, "The Lonesome Mourning of Kevin Mann." Although yours has a much happier ending... If you care to check it out you may see the similarities.

The only thing I would change in this piece is the constant referance of the main character as "The Stranger". A stranger to whom? Since it appears he is somewhere quite isolated. I am no literary expert though, this is only my personal opinion.

Bottom line though... Nice piece! Good work!

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My cat's breath smells like cat food.

rmestre

I realy like this, you're writing shows great promise. If I were you, I would continue this story. Lead us to the details of exactly where he is and why he is there. Build the climax, I for one would want to read it!

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Robert Mestre
The Buddhism Primer : An Introduction to Buddhism ISBN 978-1411663343
http://buddhismprimer.blogspot.com/
Artistic Minds Society
http://materials-synthesis.com/amc/

R.J.T

I want to thank Maria, doctor and rmestre for their replies. I also want to re-thank everyone who took the time to respond in the past. I'm honestly overwhelmed by all the positive response my little story has recieved.

Doctor to answer your question. I kept referring to the protaganist as "The stranger" because he was a stranger in this cold, forgotten world. It was a world that was very alien to him. And I also wanted to let you know that I am definitly going to check out your story "The lonesome morning of Kevin Mann", thank you for telling me about it. Thanks again to everyone, my graditude could never be described.

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--- R.J.T

R.J.T

Sorry about the typos in my lst reply, I forgot to spell check. Sorry.

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--- R.J.T

R.J.T

Well, I guess the time has come to retire this story. Thanks to everyone who read it. If you care I will be posting my new story "Up there they dance" sometime this weekend.

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--- R.J.T