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Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words.

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Old 11-09-2005, 07:56 PM   #1
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rmestre
Talking Serial Killer - A Confession

Okay, let me begin by saying I am not a writer. So don’t expect anything fancy here. The details will be blunt and probably not easy for you to handle. But if you are reading this it is because you have some morbid curiosity, whether you admit it or not. Like it, don’t like it. I really couldn't give a shit.

For the sake of time and space I will only give an account of one of my killings. Yet to be fair to the readers I will make it my best work to date.

Okay, first a little background on how I do things. I only kill men, why...to tell the truth, I have no idea. Men just seem the greater evil, and when killing someone, especially slowly, it helps to hate them. The killings always take place in my basement. I know this is cliché, but my aim is to kill not to write a screenplay.

In my ‘real’ life people would never expect that I do what I do. And in a way I get off on this fact, it makes me feel powerful. And even better, it makes the world look stupid. Anyway I’m babbling, screw the foreplay and let’s get right to the deed.

I saw this guy, blah, blah, blah. I hit him in the head with a bat, blah, blah, blah. Here we are in the basement. Believe me the rest of that encounter would have bored the hell out of you, and to be honest I just don’t feel like fucking typing it.

So...

I wait for him to wake up. It is really no fun at all if they are asleep, but it does give you enough time to secure them. Now this is a little fun so I will take the time to describe it. Forget everything you see in movies and read in books, it is mostly bullshit and most times inconvenient. Nothing binds better than barbed wire. Not only is it as good as hand cuffs and shackles, but believe me they do not even attempt to move too much. Do this with them laying on the floor, because this gives you the best access to the body once you begin your work. Don't bother securing them to anything, it will not be needed, not to mention catching an escapee can be fun too. Next do yourself a favor ahead of time, put a light bulb in a zip lock bag and crush it to a fine powder. Then dump this down their throat. Now you REALLY don’t have to worry about them screaming or crying out. Don’t get me wrong, they will try once or twice. That is until it starts to burn like a mother fucker and they start spitting up blood (which is usually the time they know for a fact I’m going to kill them).

To see or not to see, that is the question. I vote, to see, at least for a little while. Remember most of the pain a person feels is reflected in their eyes, and that gets me off the most!
Anyway...this is done simply with duct tape. Rip a strip off, stick the bottom of the eye lid and eye lashes to it, pull up...and tape to the fore head. Do the same to the bottom lid, and tape it to the chin. Their eyes are officially open for business, ha ha. Sorry, I couldn't help myself. On a personal note. Keep a bottle of Visene handy, every twenty minutes or so add a drop or two to their eyes. If you don't there eyes will dry out. Though very painful and fun in it’s own way, eventually the person will not be able to see. And we just can’t have that, can we?

The person should be awake by now, at least my friend was. Now you can get down to business.

You want to start off small and work your way up. By small I mean doing things that will hurt but not kill or cause to go into shock. That would just ruin the fun and be a total waste of time.

Start with the ears. Take a sharp knife and make a small one inch slit at the top of the ear where the ear connects to the head. Why you ask. Here is why. Cutting the ears off is too easy. It only takes about five seconds, doesn't bleed too much, and most of all would not give the appropriate response.

Grab a pair of pliers, that's right, pliers. Grab the top of the ear firmly in your pliers and pull down in a sharp yank. Not too hard, you only want to rip it about half way off. Now take a piece of ice and rub it all along the wound to wake those wonderful little exposed nerves up. Yes...that’s it. Now dip your finger (doesn't matter which) in cayenne pepper and rub it all over the wound. Don’t be timid, pretend you are rubbing spice into a steak. They will feel like their ear is being eternally burned off. Now take a break, and take in the look on the person’s face. Savor the whines and whimpers. See how funny it is when the person tries to wince but can’t. Give it about twenty minutes. Go eat a tv dinner or something.

You back? Good lets move on.

Lip removal 101. Now this can be bloody. For this you need those trusty pliers again, and a sharp pair of scissors. Start with the top or bottom lip, it doesn't matter. Grab the middle of the lip with your pliers and pull them towards you as hard as you can, position your scissors from the side. Make sure you have as much of the lip as possible is between the scissor blades. Then snip...

Now quickly do the other lip, and I mean quickly. It bleeds so much you would swear you hit an artery. Once finished be sure to turn the person on their side. You don’t want them to choke to death on their own blood, not yet anyway.

Now take a butter knife. Heat it up on your stove or where ever. Wait until it starts to smoke. Use an oven mitt or something to grab the knife (you don’t want to burn yourself). Now press this thing against the persons lips. You may have to reheat it to do the other lip. Make sure the whole wound is burned. This will stop the bleeding, but it will continue to hurt the whole time you are working on them. Besides, if you like every once in a while you can give them a thump with your finger or something. It’ll wake things back up.

Bone tapping 101. I’m sure you are wondering what the hell bone tapping is. Well it is a barrel of fun if you ask me. Just kidding, sort of. This is bone tapping, plain and simple. Hammering nails into the bones of a persons body. Have fun with this. Use different size nails, see if you can knock one all the way in with one swing of the hammer, if one goes in crooked pull it out and try again. There are just two rules here. Don't hammer any into the skull or spine. This can do a few things. Kill the person, paralyze the person, or cause them to be brain dead. All of these would really ruin such a joyous occasion. (Don’t worry there are things you can do to the brain coming up).

Well now we are starting to have a little mess on our hands. This is a good time to dumps a few buckets of water on the person, clean them up a little. This will also wake them up if they passed out. Not to mention you need a clean canvas to work on.

Now, lets not let all those nails you hammered in go to waste. Rip the power chord off an old tv or something. Make sure the wires are exposed and plug it in. Remember chance are every single nail has run through, or is touching a nerve. Are you getting my drift here? Take the live wires and touch one to one nail and one to another. Do this for no longer than a second or two. You don't want to blow the socket or kill the person. Be prepared though, chances are they will lose their bowels. Though it is funny, it does not smell too good. Easiest thing to do is to just pour a bottle of bleach on them.

Okay, take another break. Not too long though. Have a smoke or something. (If your going to smoke, don’t forget to wash your hands, haha.)

Disemboweling 101. Now we get to the good stuff. But this is much more precise work, and due care needs to be given. The depth of the cut will depend on the amount of fat the person has. But here is an easy method. Use a scalpel, cut a one inch deep by one inch long incision. Now put your finger in the whole. If your finger is blocked from going all the way into the stomach cut about another half inch deeper. Now put your finger in again. Repeat this until your finger goes into the body cavity. Now cut a shallow six inch cut up the stomach. Repeat this same cutting action until you are at the depth of the cavity, but not all the way through. Now place the scalpel in the original hole and cut up the length of the entire incision opening the cavity. Now reach in on each side, grabbing the flesh one side at a time and make another six inch incision to one side, then the other. It entire thing should look like a cross. Now gently roll the person on their side. At this time most of their inside will come out and rest on the floor next to them. Be careful not to damage these, as the goal is for the person to remain alive and see their insides on the floor. Leave them on their side, do NOT allow them the roll back onto their back. I wish I could begin to describe the look on the person’s face. It can only be described as unbelievable shock, pure fear, and resignation all in one. I just had to laugh, and he did not even notice.

Now you only have a short time before they will die. So use your time wisely.

Use a skill saw to cut into the side of their head. Be slow and steady. You will feel a slight release once the saw blade is through the bone. Now being sure to keep the depth exact, cut a circle about the size of your fist. Use the butter knife you had earlier as a pry bar to remove that piece of skull. It will take a minute or two as you work your way around. Now contrary to every horror movie ever made, you are not done yet. There is a membrane that covers the brain, grab it gently with your pliers and tear some of it off. Remember the brain does not feel pain, but taking wire (any wire will do) and poking it into different parts of the brain will cause a wide range of things to happen. The person may laugh, cry, cum, throw up, shake, go blind, drool, taste things, hear things, see things, and god knows what else. It all depends on where you insert the wire. Take your time, explore. Like they say, a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

After about an hour I’m sure you are tired. I know I was. The person is about dead now anyway, probably just hangin’ on by a thread. Well it’s time to cut that thread.

Slowly reach in to the body cavity, move your hand up by the rib cage, most of us know about where the heart is. You will feel the heart beating. Push your hand sharply, you will need to do this do gain access to the heart (another fucking protective cavity). Grab the heart, then do what you want. Squeeze it in fast repetition, or slow it down, or just go ahead and squish the life out of it. The choices are endless. ‘Endless’ that is one hell of a word to use here, huh?

Be sure that you are looking at the persons eye's the whole time. I swear you can see the life leave the body. It is like they are looking at something far away, then bam, their gone. Now wash up and go to bed. Deal with the body in the morning.

Yes...I know the ending has a sort of quickness to it, not too descriptive. But that is how it is, this is not a movie. If you really want more detail, contact me and maybe we can meet!
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Last edited by rmestre : 11-09-2005 at 08:10 PM.
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Old 11-09-2005, 11:41 PM   #2
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hey rmestre,
Quite a follow up to your last piece. Though I liked you other piece much better.

Just a quick thought, but are you some kind of doctor in real life? Seemed like you knew what you were talking about.

This one didn't really make me cringe, like the last one. I guess it was hard for me to picture all these things, so it gave it a slightly cartoonish feel for me.

Definitely wouldn't want to meet this guy. He'd chop me up, I bet.

This serial killer I imagine as him as a former doctor, somehow gone crazy. The way he writes is pretty intelligble, but maybe not doctor intelligble because then he would be spewing out all the medical terms.

Like the last one this was certaintly interesting, though I wished didn't choose to do it on a serial killer. This actually kind of reminded me of this one serial killer movie, made in the early 90's based on a true story and these two guys would go film there rape/killings.
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Old 11-10-2005, 12:48 AM   #3
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Okay...okay...you win...that really grossed me out...lol...kudos...I also liked the last one better...lol




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Old 11-10-2005, 12:56 AM   #4
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Thank you both for the comments. I was just trying something different. I am actually a poet and do not usually even write gore. I will try to make the next one much better
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Old 11-10-2005, 09:19 AM   #5
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torture

I’m a little nervous about critiquing you. I’m kind of a sissy. But here goes…

You write very well. Good descriptions. Confident. Not overworked. Solid 1st person voice. You also put some thought into the details.

Nonetheless, this is the first well-written short story that I skimmed from half way through, not because I was bored, or even uncomfortable, but because the read was proving a totally negative experience. So I skimmed to make sure it was just more of the same, up until the creepy veiled threat at the end. I don’t mind reading about torture, but there has to be a point. As far as I can tell, there is no plot, and no theme. The character is static, stereotypic and non-evolving. There is no conflict and no resolution. Actually, it is more of a manual than a story. And really, it’s not that hard to hurt people.

The reason I say all this negative crap is because with your talent and mind, you need to write something deeper. I hope you will write something that, if it doesn’t give me pleasure, then at least “embiggens” me a little. Because I know you can.
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Old 11-10-2005, 11:02 AM   #6
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Hi Chris,

What you say is true. I am always open to suggestions and as opposed to some people who seem very defensive.

My goal in this writing was to make the killer seem very dry, and without conflict or remorse. Speaking in a matter of fact tone, but with a sense of vanity and pride.

The truth is I am not too happey with this piece either, hough I think it could be okay with a few good edits and rewrites. Thank you for your comments and your honesty, they are much appreciated.
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Old 11-10-2005, 12:20 PM   #7
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I don't know. That was pretty deep. The guy (the one with the scalpel, scissors and pliers) is completely emotionless, or else there is no way he could torture somebody so horribly before their eventual death at his hands.

Having said that, future stories posted by rmestre will be approached more cautiously by me. I don't want to get halfway through another story and feel completely unrewarded for my time. That's not a dig on your style or talent, because you obviously have both. I just don't fancy reading about something so evil.

Good job on a great story I was unable to finish
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Old 11-10-2005, 11:53 PM   #8
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I'm the type of guy you can't take to a horror movie because I laugh all the way through it. I'm serious, someone gets their head chopped off and I start laughing like it was the Three Stooges.

This was gore for gores sake. Your last story was smart, offbeat and quirky. Missing was that wit I know you possess.

Quote:
“embiggens”
??????

Pulls out the thesaurus........
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