strangedaze

down for repairs, etc. thanks for the responses!

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His sins were scarlet, but his books were read.

Chris Miller

"As loop around and make my way back..."
Missing "I"

Nice character study. Patient, disturbed. Your voice and narrative strike me as even more mature and careful here than I remember.

A good air rifle / CO2 rifle can kill you. 4-500 fps muzzle velocities, .22 cal. Do more than break the skin. Used to put rounds thru half-inch plywood, no problem.

Nonetheless, it had a well-researched feel, no accounting for range I guess.

Checked out the e-zine. Pay's a bit light (i.e. 1 copy of mag). Has potential though. Hope it flies. Did you have this (or something else) in it?

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the fairwriting blogs

Barcelona Review story: http://www.barcelonareview.com/64/e_cm.html

strangedaze

Christoph,

not my ezine, but i enjoy it and have had pieces in it in the past, mostly for whimsy. good guy who runs it. his first novel is coming out from afterbirthbooks sometime in the near future - 'It Came from Below the Belt'. i play with that scene when im not trying to be a serious and snotty wanna-be academic.

as for the rifle biz, i remember we used to shoot eachother all the time. but then again, the rifles weren't co2 powered. im thinking of playing with this for my next workshop in class, so if you've got any more ideas or even if you wanted to say hi, drop me a pm. oh, and glad you see improvement re: the voice and the narrative.

how's the fairwriting thing working out? ive stopped by a couple times.

regards,

andrew

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His sins were scarlet, but his books were read.

gohn67

Hey Strangedaze,
I just read for enjoyment mostly, didn't look to hard for stuff.

It was pretty enjoyable as always.

Very descriptive, but I think you overdid all the similes after a while. You used a ton of them. Had some really good ones, like the stuff about cigarette fumes. But after a while it just got to be too much for me.

I liked the dialogue it was entertaining.

I know you have some hidden meaning in this piece, I probably have to read a bit harder to find it though.

It seems to have three scenes. The part with the mom. Then a small bit in diner(which seems a bit irrelevant, helps build character slightly though), and then when they go shoot eachother.

The mom interested me a lot. She definitely has some mental problems. Then she disappears from the story though. At first I thought it was going to be about the protagonists relationship with his mom.

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The Frowning Dog Blog

strangedaze

good call on the similes - i fucking knew i was overdoing it

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His sins were scarlet, but his books were read.

AngieP

I laughed out loud at the part about the whale trying to impregnate the salamander. Very funny.

One thing I'll never get - guy's seemingly unquenchable desire for pain! How does anyone enjoy being shot by a pellet gun? I once watched my dad shoot this massive racoon right between the eyes with his CO2 powered pellet gun. That thing was huge, and it just DROPPED. Scary.

cellardoor

you already know why it's good

and it's fucking good

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If I make it as a writer, I'll write for the hobo, not the professor.