This is the email I sent to my ex. - Writers Forum

Dante0085 · 10-31-2005, 12:14 PM

I missed school today because I needed to sort my head out and get some things straight, which I think it much more important than dressing up for Halloween in school and going to the October 31 dance.

This has to do with the things I need to sort out.

Listen to what these paragraphs say, because this is the last time I do this. I'll start by saying that Amaris let me know about the things you told her about me like "Just block and delete him, he can get violent and uses bad language" and when I said I had to go soon and you replied with something like "Just adding to the pressure." I finally realized something. And you know what, I'm glad I didn't get to talk to you the other day because all I would have done is poured my heart out again. I finally realized that I don't have to put up with your shit.

Yeah, I use bad language but I only do it when I'm pissed. People get mad because they want things to change. That's true no matter how you look at it. And what I want to change now, is for you to stop mentioning my name at all and for us to never, ever, speak again.

I've done so much, apologized so many times, poured my heart out the last time I saw you and told you how I wanted to die with you and how I wanted so much to get back with you and you still, two weeks later, do this.

I waited all that time for you to sign on again after that day. To see if things might work out after telling you how I felt until I realize that I should get Amaris to ask Hiei if you're on.

And guess what? Turns out, you are on. But just like you told Amaris "Just block and delete him" thats probably what you did to me.

I just can't believe that you would agree with Hiei, Serako, and Malign by telling Amaris to block and delete me. When it was Hiei's fault too, and when you agreed that you didnt want Serako or Sean (even though he wasnt included in telling Maris to block you although im sure he would have told her If he was there) to get into this at all.

I don't love you anymore.

Happy?

In fact, I don't think I ever loved you.

and I'm not just saying that to piss you off or anything because I realized something.

I realized that the person I told that I loved, the one that I wanted to die with, the one I wanted to get married and have children with isn't in the present nor in the past, but only in my imagination.

Nobody could have been as perfect as the Naty I thought existed and I should have known that

Two weeks ago when I told you how I felt about "you" (quotation marks since it wasnt really you whom I was trying to get the message to) it was meant for the Naty I thought existed. Not you.

The one I thought existed was the one who would give me another chance because she would understand that I truly loved her since I told her when I cheated and apologized, she would understand that I'm only fourteen years old, and wouldn't block me. The one I thought existed wouldn't bad mouth other people about me either.

And there are so many things I can still say, but you really don't deserve to hear them. I've tried to hard so many times and only ended up being ignored. I'm not wasting my time with you anymore. I really don't want to see a response from you to this email, but at the same time, want to know somehow that you read it. This needs to get across.

And so, I tell myself. If you were to ask me to get back with you, even though you never would, I would say no. You're not the person I envisioned. You're not the person I loved. The real Natalia, my Natalia, the one I still love today, the one who never existed was.

During the day when you broke up with me and you were getting mad because I told you I had cheated on you again and apologized, you were getting mad and I told you that I wished you wouldn't get mad.

You replied with "I don't mean to get mad, but I'm only human"

well what I should have said to that was

"I'm only human too, and humans, make mistakes."

Because thats what cheating with Hiei was, a mistake. I even told you that looking at Hentai would have been the same thing to me and you still refused to listen.

So Truth be told...

If you were to apologize in reply to this email, I'd only be forgiving you because of my religion. But otherwise, I'd be telling you to hit the road, because thats really what you've done to me.

I wont thank you for the good times we had, because I spent them and wasted my life with the wrong person. You werent the person I was looking for. You werent the person I bought the sonic plushie for. You weren't the person I loved.

Naty was.

Please do not talk to me, ever, ever, again.

- Edward Jaquez

request a pen-made signature if needed.

gohn67 · 10-31-2005, 04:53 PM

Hey Dante,
This seems too unnbelievable to be made up.

This reads a bit like "The perks of being a wallflower", which is written as a series of letters to some unknown person and it's like the reader a devious mailman opening the letters and reading them before it gets to the destination.

That's the way I feel about this post. I feel like a voyeur seeing something that shouldn't be for my eyes yet I can't help but read it. It's interesting to me, and written well.

It seems like you do still have feelings for her, judging by the length and way it is written.

tanmay · 10-31-2005, 07:56 PM

If it was a real email - good job done.

If it was an attempt at fiction - scope for improvement can't be denied.

Regards,
Tanmay.

epone · 11-04-2005, 11:59 PM

Too long and too complicated. Sorry, who ordered the steak?

bheid1.01 · 11-05-2005, 12:22 PM

it was good, if it was fiction

if it was real, it's kind of creepy

Quote:

I've done so much, apologized so many times, poured my heart out the last time I saw you and told you how I wanted to die with you and how I wanted so much to get back with you and you still, two weeks later, do this.

also, would i be wrong to call you little naive? a meaning ful relationship at 14?

Jimmy_James · 11-05-2005, 12:35 PM

OUCH

why do i feel like i'm on jerry springer

bheid1.01 · 11-05-2005, 12:42 PM

i didn't mean to be insulting.. sorry

Jimmy_James · 11-05-2005, 01:10 PM

haha i was only joking don't feel bad

i think its what we all refer to as puppy love, we've all been through it, i went through it just last week

Starik · 11-06-2005, 11:40 PM

"He jests at scars that never felt a wound."
--- Romeo; Romeo & Juliet

Dante,
If you truly are a fourteen year old, keep writing, keep reading, keep learning all you can. You will be one heck of a writer in the very near future!