Chris Miller

Just wanted say that I enjoyed this story too. It took some getting into because of the numerous errors and (for me) over-use of the word "guy."

Because it is in the 3rd person I think the narrator could take on a cleaner, more articulate vernacular. Let the crudities, slan and lingo come out in the dialogue.

But past the half-way mark as the big guy approaches for what I think is going to be the cliche ending, I found I was getting into it. And the ending was a nice surprise. And, even from 6 feet, it's pretty tough to cap two knees, especially the 2nd. I would imagine.

Hope you polish this one.

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the fairwriting blogs

Barcelona Review story: http://www.barcelonareview.com/64/e_cm.html

Gaz

Thanks for the read, Chris, and your comments.

I'm not much into SS, Worst Fears was my second. I wrote the original too quickly and too late at night. I've just redone it, taking into account many of the comments I received.

BTW, didn't quite grasp your comment about the two shots to the kneecaps. Brian boasts about being a good shot.

Thanks again, Chris.

Salud,
Gaz

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