tagos

But can you read 1000 word long mis punctuated and misspelled paragraphs with dialogue mixed in? More to the point. Why should you have to? If a writer won't make any effort to present their work in a readable format why should we put the effort into deciphering it? Particularly when that effort will inevitably prevent you getting into it properly. And that was my point. Reviewers could not do the writing justice because of the effort they are having to put in to just begin making sense of it.

And publishers certainly wouldn't. They'd take one look at it and throw it in the bin so the author's work would be wasted all because she's too stubborn or whatever to conform to accepted and practically universal standards of presentation.

Stewart

Aside from the spelling errors there was also a formatting problem so that halfway through a paragraph it would jump down two blank lines and then resume mid-sentence.

I think the post I'm quoting now says it all:

I don't see what the deal, firstly, is with the typewriter style where a carriage return is placed mid-sentence. But anyway, telling someone it's their fault for not liking/understanding a story is wrong. Period. And then, we are told that people has said it's her best story; that may be so, but it doesn't mean it's good. I would guess it was friends and/or family that said such thing, giving the response as so many do, that it's great; never wanting to offend.

But, when you move your work into an open forum, then the people don't know you and only have your work to make their decisions upon. If you get bitten, welcome to the real world. Harden up, and start learning to write, and learning from those that write.

I got an angry little PM from flamingroses4u, who obviously didn't get the point of my expletive earlier. The idiot reference was for removing the passage because it had been slated for poor formatting; she was only interested in the content, while nobody could comment upon the content because they couldn't get past the poor formatting, the spelling errors, and the grammatical mistakes.

She also said in her PM that she could write perfect English so I took the liberty of correcting her PM; adding in all the missing punctuation, etc.

I've asked her not to give up. That's not what we want. We want to offer advice, but it's too hard to do when it's not presented well.

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Chris Miller

Glad to see you've decided to stretch your wings again.

I think this is an improvement in that I had no trouble reading it.

As far as I can see a woman gets a flat and meets another woman who is running out of gas out in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night. Would that be your plot outline here?

e.e. cummings used to write poetry all in lowercase and i really liked his stuff.

Just a couple small technical matters:

I'm not sure your writing all in lower case helps. You might consider sticking with the convention of capping the first letter of each sentence.

This confused me.

I'm curious as to why you didn't give your character a name in the first section.

I'm also curious as to why you split your lines where you do, and how you decided to not split into paragraphs. Dividing your prose into clearly defined sentences and paragraphs would help your readers.

There are a few wrong words and grammaticals beyond this, but not too bad. Much better than before. I wonder if you could tell me what is going to happen next?

May I also ask your age?

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the fairwriting blogs

Barcelona Review story: http://www.barcelonareview.com/64/e_cm.html

flamingroses4u

i'm 37.
I had started of giving her a name but i thought it
would be more mysterious not to till later.. but i think
i'll change it back. thanks tina

flamingroses4u

with some time past and the sun well up they
were on their way back to their cars. took roughly
an hour or more but they found what they needed.
" next time I travel I'm going to be very prepared for
times like this" said Brenda.
"YES, me to, If I'd remembered my spare tire I
wouldn't be here" " and if I'd listened to my son and
brought a full can of gas I'd not be here either." Said Brenda
" then of course, we wouldn't of met.
how many kids do you have Brenda ? are you married? "
" no my husband died a couple years ago."
" you must have a boyfriend "
" NO, I've had a few girlfriends but no men "
Kali was smiling very broadly now.
" hey um, when we get out of this mess we aught to
have breakfast together, get a hotel room perhaps,
you look so tired " said kali " I am . been on the road all
night from Texas and I went off course, so I'm not real
sure where I am. "
" Well, I live in Arkansas, I was just passing through. "
Suddenly , a rustling from behind them stifled them,
freezing them in they're tracks for a moment. It was among
many of the noises they'd heard while exploring this odd town.
Dust devils could be seen swirling on the street carrying paper
and leaves , one being right ahead of them that seemed bigger.
It was coming right to them , they tried to avoid it but it
maneuvered to keep in their path. “ What is going on !
It’s almost as if its blocking us.” said Brenda.
“ just run ! “ screamed kali So they ran a block over and
around till they reached their cars. they caught their breath
a moment “ That was freaky. “ said Brenda
“ it was just a really strong dust devil is all.” said kali firmly.
" Kali, I hope you know how to do this cause I don't."
" Yes I can. I know a lot about cars "
kali didn't waste any more time switching the gas from her
car to Brenda’s as Brenda loaded Kali’s things in her car.
kali sucked the vial gas from the tank and she spat and chokes
from the taste.. " you ok? " kali gave her a thumbs up.
Brenda looked around her she noticed a Sparky’s malt shop
and a Garrison's pharmacy across the street. when kali was
finished they went to peek inside its windows feeling a bit
curious they took a last look around Kali even got her camera
out and took picture some with them in it and of her car so
someone could retrieve it later.
it seemed some how cozy even in it's dead quietness .
once this town must of been quiet nice and friendly they even
found out the name (HAVEN DALE) as they walked down the
strip they Came to a Bill's barbershop they peeked in a suddenly,
a loud thud was heard nearby as if something heavy had fallen
over they jumped and backed away.
"What the hell was that?!" shrieked kali..
" I don't know.. Car!.. Now! lets get out of here. "
they sprinted back to the car and jump in, it started right up.
more to come..

Stewart

Glad to see you back. What application are you copying and pasting from? I ask because it's playing havoc with the formatting, splitting the sentences in half for line breaks

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eggo

Hey flamingroses4u,

Definitely a different method of prose. I can tell you usually write poetry.

This story and the way it is formatted seems to be more like a poem.

There is some good bits,

nice image

and some rough parts,

It seems like the beginning to something interesting, but I can't help think that it is poetry disguised as prose. I would love to see this written as straight poetry. I think it would add more to the story.

one thing,

Call them "cell phones" not "cellular phones". I don't think I've ever heard someone call them that.

Thanks!

flamingroses4u

i love poetry. but ,when i write a story i'd
like it to sound like one. but guess being poetic
is in my nature. hehe. i was wanting to say
cell phone so. i will change it back. tina

Stewart

Please answer...

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flamingroses4u

i use micro soft works word processer.
its the only thing i have that helps with
the spellcheck. sorry my friend max told
me he had trouble getting my stories
correctly also cause it screwed with the
punctuations.. so, I had to send as
attachments.. tina