seraphserpent

Butterfly

The minister paused as he took in the sight of the couple in front of him.

“You may kiss the bride,” he said, though he couldn’t be sure they heard him over the deafening silence of their gaze. Just when he was about to repeat himself, the couple moved.

The man lowered his head, bringing his face to hers. She, in turn, raised her chin slightly, but not enough. Their mouths would never reach.

It appeared that wasn’t the goal. Their foreheads touched and then rested against each other, their eyes never breaking the gaze. They were smiling softly. The church seemed to hold its breath; not just the audience, but the stone structure surrounding them.

Still.

Everything was so still.

“I love you,” he whispered, allowing his fingertips to dance lightly around hers without ever settling to hold her hand.

“I know,” she murmured back. Her eyes were wide and bright and oddly electric as she drank in his presence.

“Do you love me?” He asked the question as his right hand nearly graced down the side of her face: nearly, but never really touching her skin.

“With all my heart.”

The air was silent for a moment. The tenderness the lovers shared in that single gaze whispered of passion and love so engulfing words would never justify it.

Slowly, she raised her chin a little more, so their foreheads were no longer touching. A moan seemed to cry from their skin, for the loss of contact, but in reality, no sound was made. Gently, she touched her nose to his, and then turned her face as if to nuzzle his cheek. So sweet, so graceful were her movements, as the lovers stared at each other and relished the contact that nearly wasn’t contact at all.

Her eyelids fluttered at last, and it seemed as if the long, hard kiss would finally come. He lowered his mouth, brushing his lips over hers, so lightly it was as if a butterfly perched there, if only for a moment.

The minister waited. The couple had returned to gazing. Somewhat at a loss, the minister cleared his throat.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

Tension eased through the room until even the slightest whisper of movement was jarring. Everyone waited for the newly wedded lovers to walk, arm in arm, toward their new life.

He gazed at her. She gazed back, a smile flirting with her pink lips.

Then suddenly, with a whoop, he descended on her, scooping her into his arms, just as one would hold an infant, cradled against him. She raised her mouth once again, and claimed him with a kiss, barely longer than the first. Her face shone, though the smile continued to simply flirt without fully forming.

He placed kisses on her forehead, the tip of her nose, her chin, as he carried her down the aisle. At the doors, he turned. What an image they were: Her white dress against his black tuxedo, and the night, framing them, claiming them.

They both smiled, and he turned into the night, her arms around his neck, mouth moving gently against mouth.

gohn67

Hi Butterfly,
Not really my kind of story, but the writing was good enough that I read the whole thing.

You create a pretty good scene and I could kind of feel the tension of the moment. I found myself sort of rooting for them to finally kiss. Get over with it already! You created the suspense of the kiss pretty well.

Nitpick stuff
I understand what you mean here. Although I'm not sure it works. Just something wrong with. I think saying that there gaze was silent doesn't work for me. Just seems contradictory. It's more like they are in a trance or something. Hypnotized.

I don't like the use of the adverb softly here. How do you smile softy?

For a moment here, I thought she was going to say No. I'm glad that didn't happen.

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Tunkpirate

I really truly enjoyed it. Call me girly, but I read the whole thing and then read it again. Its the attention to detail that really sealed it for me. The touching of foreheads, the gaze, I could feel the sparks flowing even though nothing else about the characters had been mentioned. You managed to take a mushy, lovie dovie, type situation and make it interesting. Cant wait to read more of your writing.

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Keridwen

Aaaaaaw!!!! Thats so sweet!!!! I'm with Tunkpirate!! Write something else!! LOL.

I think you can smile softly, gohn67. I mean, you can grin, and bare your teeth in something that barely resembles smiling, and you can smile softly, slightly, accentuating love. Its used all the time, that adverb, and I think it fits.

Hmm the deafening silence. It accentuates the tension that everyone is feeling - the preist not sure if he was heard because of the thickness of the emotion in the air. You're right, gohn67, it doesn't sound conventional but it is effective nevertheless.

seraphserpent

Thanks for all the comments, guys. I'll have to think about what you said and see if I can make it work better. I'm kind of attached to the smiling softly but the other parts you mentioned, I agree, can use a little work. Thanks so much.

As for the romance, I don't usually like that kind of stuff either. I don't know what possessed me to write that!