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Writing Machine
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Not over there, that's for sure....
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,783
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Locked Out (also in fiction) A few swearing
Okay I'm back, never posted in a long time, and here is something I wrote in just thrity or so minutes. Tell me the unmake sensable parts for me. And tell me some grammar errors (that teaches me something, I garuntee you). This is my short stories part of it; I believe here you get lots of replies.
Locked-in
I never thought the world would end like this this...
Rayne stood on top of a five story building, with a pistol in his hand, gazing down at the hundreds of deadish figures eating, and shreading the flesh of the struggling people. The world seemed so high from up there. God, he thought, he felt as if he were God; people calling for help but God never answers.
A hand fell down on his shoulder, "Rayne," silently said a woman's voice. He gazed down at the hand.
"When, Tristina," said Rayne. Tristana knew something about God was about to travel through his mouth,"when will people be convinced that they should probably stay at home then run on the streets? Are they all that stupid?"
Tristane gave of a quick smile, dropping her hand of his shoulder. "Rayne," she said, " should even a former priest be calling people stupid?"
Rayne smiled, "I asked if they were stupid, I didn't say they are."
She turned around, discovering a person was missing. Rayne aslo turned around, discovering the same thing, "where's Hunter?", he wondered. With out a reply, Tristina, noticed the door was slightly open. She ran towards the door; she slowly and cautiously opened the door and saw a broad man loading up his rifle. "You scared me Hunter, you bastard," Tristina said, fealing alot more releaved.
Rayne an towards the door, and went flying passed Tristina, and the broad man, Hunter. As he traveled down the stairway he beckoned Trisina and Hunter to follow. All three went storimg down the stairs, and into the lobby. Tristian and Hunter wondered, what's the exitement? Ran slowed down as he approach the entrance door.
"No!" yelled Tristina, "they'll come in..." she stopped as Rayne swung open the door. Hunter quickly drew out his rifle, and Trisina her pistols. Rayne held hispistol close to his face. As Tristina and Hunter came closer to the door, they noticed a band of survivors or professional zombie hunters, as it more obviously looked like. They were all armed with weapons even Hunter never knew of. Then she thought, the military. Huntered put away his rifle and jogged over to the survivors. Rayne and Tristina followed. As Hunter got close one of the survivors, the man threw Hunter to the ground and put the tip of his gun to his face; Rayne and Tristina stopped.
"Are you bitten, scratched, or even spit on?" forcely asked one of the survivors, or marines.
"No, neither of us are," cried Hunter,"we, like you, are aware of the Blood Flood, the virus." The man let him go, and Hunter quickly sprouted up from the ground.
Hunter dusted himself off, "so," said Hunter,"who are you guy's anyway, marines, survivors..." he stopped as he got intrerupted.
"Neither," said the man, "we are part of a secret agency, all apart of killing these...things, deadish things." Rayne suantered over, and put away his pistol.
"Are you with the goverment?" asked Rayne.
"No," said the man, "our agency was officially allowed by the Goverment though"
"Good," said Tristina," The Goverment never did anything anyway, they don't care if people die."
"You guys have shiny gats there," Hunter couldn't help noticing," mind if I have one of them for this 1980 old-school piece of shit"
"Never mind him he's just jealous," said Tristina.
"Now for our qeustions," said the man," Are you guys hunting the the things or you hiding? Because we don't want a bunch of newbies who can't handle a weapons."
"Little of both," said Rayne," Tristina here is a former house wife, Hunter was a cop, until his precinct fell, and I was a former priest, who learned how to use a pistol by Hunter here..."
"He was shitty," interrupted Hunter.
"Anyway," said Rayne," we could use the extra guns. Could we help you, or come with you?"
"As long as you play the helper" said the man," not the burden."
The three nodded yes. They all ran towards a highway; they all noticed hundreds, maybe more, dead figures walking towards them. They dead figures noticed the them, and all came running towards them; the survivor's all crouched down and started firing at the figures. There was too many for them to handle it; fear took over bravery in their hearts, and their minds got more and more nervous. They siezed fire and they all ran back to the five story building. As they got in, Rayne locked the door, and the others barricaded it with scraps of wood and metal.
"We cannot make it out," said Rayne," we'er locked in"
It will always Rayne. (<<Not part of the story)
Demon,
__________________
Nowhuttumsayen?
click on the spoiler for YOUR health...
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