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Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words.

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Old 05-06-2005, 05:56 PM   #1
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Xion Night
The Journal of William Barrow

This was a school project, but I also tried to experiment with making it sound like an actual journal or diary with seperate entries. Tell me if I succeeded, please.

The Journal of William Barrow


I don’t know how I got here, and I am not sure if I will ever find out. But it no longer matters; I have given up trying to reason.

I suppose I should start from the beginning. I am William Barrow of Westminster London. I was a guard attending the Houses of Parliament state opening on Tuesday, November 5, 1605. All was going well until about noon. There was a bright flash as a deafening explosion split the calm air. The ground split open around me, and I looked on in horror as the people around me fell into a quickly growing chasm. Not knowing what was happening, I snatched up my musket and, in a complete state of panic, fired a few rounds into the seemingly endless hole. A large stone bastion flew from the facade of the House of Parliament, striking me in the back. I flew forward into the chasm, hitting my head off the side, rendering me unconscious.

When I awoke, I was laying face first with my musket gripped so firmly in my hand that it had given a pattern to my fingers. The notebook in which I am writing this was in my coat pocket, and my sword at my side in its hilt. My head throbbed with an aching pain, both inside and out and fear still gripped me from the sudden catastrophe…but as I rolled over to survey my surroundings, the fear dissipated to terror. I had, by freak accident, landed on a ledge protruding from the side of the massive pit caused by the explosion. A rock teetered above my head precariously, threatening to fall at any moment. Far above, I could see sunlight.

As I lay there I thought, and the more I thought, the less hope I had.
‘How am I to get out of here?’ I wondered. ‘Did I survive simply to die a slower and more painful death; trapped here to be crushed by a boulder or starve?’ No, I would not - could not allow myself to believe that.

I stayed down for a few more minutes until I gathered up the strength to pull myself up. I stood slowly and pain surged through my body. It felt as if my head would explode any second! I leaned against the near wall to gather myself and think of what to do next. I saw a ledge on the far wall, which would have been within jumping distance, had I not been hurt so badly. From there I would be able to work my way up the face of the cliff and out of the chasm. Sadly, it was not feasible in my current condition.

There had to be another way!

Then I saw it.

To the right of me, a thick wooden beam – probably from the rafters of the House of Lords – had lodged itself between the near and far walls, and ended right above the opposing ledge. It was just within reach. I waited a moment longer; planning, contemplating, and building up my courage.

Finally, I pushed away from the wall and reached out over the darkness, grabbing onto the beam. I checked and double-checked to make sure I had a firm grip before I let the ground leave my feet. I was now dangling above an abyss so unfathomably deep that a large stone could not even be heard when dropped. With all the strength I could muster and all the pain I could endure, I heaved myself up onto the wooden beam. The wood creaked as I crawled very cautiously across and dismounted on the other side. I paused another moment looking for footholds in the wall before starting up. I climbed up without incident, but what I see now at the top of the chasm nearly knocked me back down the hole.

I am standing atop a gaping hole in the earth. The land before me is not desolate, nor is it ravaged like I had expected. Rather, it is flourishing with strange flora and fauna. There are trees the size of citadels, with branches that stick straight up into the air, and velvety flowers as numerous and colorful as a rainbow. Insects, like which I have never seen before, with wings the size of my head! I now wonder; ‘am I dead, or have I simply gone mad?’ But no, I cannot be mad, for even my mind could never think of such things as I see now before me. I am trying to reason as I write this. Perhaps the hole goes straight through the world, and I fell through to China. No, I have heard from travelers that China has dragons. The New World!

Yes, I must be in the New World, across the Atlantic Ocean. But no, none of these plants or creatures even remotely resembles anything from the stories I have heard and the drawings I have seen. Nothing makes sense anymore!

The pang of hunger has just begun to set in. I still have my musket, and there is a deer-like creature on the horizon. I pray the thing is edible.

~

I have just killed the deer-like creature – which was not hard to hunt at all; I simply walked up and shot it – and am examining it. Its body is like a horse, only more muscular. The tail is long and tapering, like a ferret’s. It has large eyes and many small, flat teeth. What caused me to mistake this for a deer are the head projections. It has two long and smoothly curved antlers, each a mirror of the other. They branch off every six inches or so and come to an extremely sharp point.

Unfortunately, I am now faced with the problem of making a fire. I still have some gunpowder for reloading my weapon, but there is precious little and I hope to keep as much of it as possible. I am frantically searching myself for any items that might be of some use. I find a small piece of glass in my right pant pocket, some lint and berries I picked earlier this day in my left pant pocket, and a small, unidentifiable metal gadget in my coat pocket – I don’t know where it came from.

I remember a friend telling me that he had fallen asleep under a glass window and awoke to find there was a burning hole in his clothes where the light was focused. I believe that, just maybe, I can start a fire like that! Ah, now I am excited, but I mustn’t get my hopes up.

~

It worked! It took a few tries, but by holding the piece of glass above my pocket lint for a few moments, I began a small fire! I then took some branches I found lying nearby and made a spit. I am now roasting the beast and the smells emanating from it are beginning to make my mouth water in anticipation. It is nearly done now, and the sun is setting quickly, so I shall eat and then find a place to sleep. I pray that tomorrow I might find out what has happened to me…but for now, goodnight.

~

11-6-05

The previous night was uneventful; after I ate the beast – which tasted strangely like chicken – I found a soft, mossy spot between the roots of a ‘Citadel Tree,’ as I now call them, and let the night slip away peacefully.

...But today is a new day, and I am aching all over! Fortunately, the night was restful and I can finally think straight. I am now surveying my surroundings. I am in a small grove of trees bordering a forest. There are mountains in the distance, which were hidden by darkness last night. Upon further observance, I find the deer-creature is no longer by the fire, where I had left it. It must have been dragged off in the night.

I, in a foreign land, far from any help as far as my knowledge goes, reason that to get to wherever I am going, I must first find out where I am. So, to find out where I am, I have resolutely decided to travel to the mountains in the distance. From there, perhaps I will be able to get some bearing of my location. I will rest a while longer before gathering up my belongings and setting off for the silver-tipped peaks on the horizon. But at the moment, my stomach calls for victuals once more.

~

After two hours of wandering around in continually growing circles so as not to lose myself, I have finally stumbled upon a most delightful smell. As I wander toward the sweet, calling smell, I think to myself ‘Perhaps there is some good in this place.’

Ah, there! Nestled snugly in a patch of velvety leaves is a giant rose-like flower. There are drops of bright blue dew on the petals as large as my fist. The stem is a bight red and the petals are dark-blue dappled with the colors of a sunset sky; orange, red, and a deep purple. The fragrance emitted is like that of sweet nectar and honey. As I near it, the smell grows almost overwhelming. I cannot resist any longer, I reach for the plant and let my fingers touch the delicate surface.

~

William Barrow awoke with a start. He slowly sat up, vaguely remembering his dream. Something about an earthquake, a deer and a flower? What did it matter; it was just a dream. He got up and dressed, getting ready for his guard duty at the Houses of Parliament state opening. Later, he would be informed that Guido Fawkes and Robert Catesby were caught in the cellar beneath the House of Lords with thirty barrels of gunpowder ready to be blown up; intending to kill King James, his family, and many others attending the event. Had their plot succeeded, windows would have been blown out within two thirds of a mile and most buildings throughout Westminster would be destroyed.

---------------------
True Story, November 5, 1605
Robert Catesby and Guido (Guy) Fawkes were the masterminds behind the Gunpowder Plot. The plot failed and was stopped a few hours before they planned to blow up the Houses of Parliament.
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Old 05-07-2005, 04:11 PM   #2
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Cre8ive Myndz
Great Story!!!

Hey xion night! I LOVED your story. Did you really make this up, or did you study some history about Wm Barrow? Was he a real person? If you made it up, you did an awesome job. I love the detail! I felt like I was there. I could really see what was happening in my head. Keep up the great writing! I hope to read more from you soon.
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Old 05-07-2005, 05:50 PM   #3
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Hey Xion,
It was kind of confusing to me. This is how I interpreted it. He is a guard and then there's like an earthquake or something and he falls into a hole in the ground and he finds himself in a different world. He goes hunting for deer. But then it's all a dream.

I really liked the detail in which you showed his actions, that was very well down. Keep that up.

A few things that coud be improve this

If these are journal entries, how come he wakes up from a dream. I don't think you can have both. IMO the dream thing is a bit weak. Plus I don't know why it's in thrid person or if that is also part of the journal entry.

The tenses aren't consistent and that's a very common mistake. I use to always make that mistake or swtich tenses. But I learned after people pointed htat out to me alot. So yeah, I think past tense should be what you use for this.

I'm not sure if it sounds like a journal entry, but hten again I don't write in a journal so I have no clue.

One minor thing.

Quote:
Far above, I could see sunlight.
Maybe change to "I saw sunlight". try to avoid could, would, etc when possible.
Good Job, though. Your abilty to be very descriptive with the actions of your character is a good skill.
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Old 05-08-2005, 10:59 AM   #4
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Xion Night
Quote:
Hey xion night! I LOVED your story. Did you really make this up, or did you study some history about Wm Barrow? Was he a real person? If you made it up, you did an awesome job. I love the detail! I felt like I was there. I could really see what was happening in my head. Keep up the great writing! I hope to read more from you soon.
Heh, thanks!
William wasn't a real person, but the name was common in those ages. The gunpowder plot was a real event, though.

Quote:
If these are journal entries, how come he wakes up from a dream. I don't think you can have both. IMO the dream thing is a bit weak. Plus I don't know why it's in thrid person or if that is also part of the journal entry.
Good point. This was actually for a school project and I was a bit tied for time, so I had to cut it short. I would've liked to keep going, though.

Quote:
The tenses aren't consistent and that's a very common mistake. I use to always make that mistake or swtich tenses. But I learned after people pointed htat out to me alot. So yeah, I think past tense should be what you use for this.

I'm not sure if it sounds like a journal entry, but hten again I don't write in a journal so I have no clue.
Thanks, I'll keep that in mind. I don't have a journal either, so I dunno what it should be like either.


Quote:
Quote:
Far above, I could see sunlight.
Maybe change to "I saw sunlight". try to avoid could, would, etc when possible.
I'll keep that in mind also.

Quote:
I really liked the detail in which you showed his actions, that was very well down. Keep that up.
Thanks alot.
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